“Mr. Winston, is there a problem?”
Oh god. I bury my head in my notebook.
“No, sir, just something in my eye.” The class laughs, and Mr. Geller shakes his head and continues with his lecture.
“Seriously, you wound me with all your rejections. What does a guy have to do to feed you or get some caffeine in you?”
He has to be ruthless, dominating…
“It’s not that. It’s just…I have a lot going on right now and would be horrible company.”
“How about I be the best company ever to even us out? McAlister’s on Fifth Street has amazing subs.” Mentioning food makes my stomach churn—and not in a good way. I’ve barely eaten this week, and thinking of putting down a heavy sub sounds gross.
“Maybe a rain check?” I say, feeling like a jerk for turning him down yet again. But I can’t fathom allowing anyone inside my life or my heart the way I let him in.
“If I get a promise on the rain check.” He sticks his hand out, waiting for me to take it. Knowing I’ll probably say no the next time too, I give in. His touch doesn’t feel right. It’s not the one I want to be making promises to. I pull back, trying to keep it together as my anxiety takes flight. Keep it together. Keep it together.
Class ends, and I busy myself with my bag while another girl snags Evan’s attention. Sneaking out the side door, I rush outside, trying to catch my breath, but even the fresh air doesn’t allow my lungs to expand.
“Why did you do this to us?” I whisper out loud, wishing he would appear and answer me. Sighing, I push off the building and go the opposite way of my next class. Violet is gone for the weekend and already texted saying she’ll be blowing off class. There’s no way I’m going to psychology alone.
I head back to the dorms.Our room is too quiet, my thoughts are too loud, and I’ve barely slept a wink. My mind is starting to turn on me. Should I have fought harder? Was it something I did to push him away? Was I too needy, too giving, or not enough? With every thought comes a regret. With every regret comes the urge to call him.
I’m so conflicted. My heart aches for him. Maybe I should just go home. Dad’s out of town, but maybe what I need is something familiar. My bed. My dad’s stash of expensive liquor.
By the time I make up my mind to head home, it’s close to eight in the evening. I hate driving at night, but snuggling up with my old covers and pillow will make it worth it. Even cuddling my old teddy bear sounds therapeutic. Top Hits play on the radio as I stare out at the road. When I pull into town, I break down and shoot off a simple text.
Me: I know you want nothing to do with me, but I just want to talk. My dad’s out of town, so I’m heading home. You know where I’ll be if you want to talk.
I watch as the three dots fill my screen. His reply is instant.
Gabriel: Where are you right now? Hazel, do not go home.
His reply is odd. It annoys me that that’s the only thing he cares about. As if he cared about me staying at school and focusing on my studies when he demanded me to his house every other day. I pull into my driveway, regretting texting him at all. Getting out of my car, I slam the door, noticing lights on in the house. Confused, I walk up to the front door and enter my key code.
There are too many lights on for my dad to be out of town, and the smell of pizza lingers in the air. My phone starts to buzz. Gabriel.
Feeling braver, I decide to answer it. “Are you calling to boss me around because I’m not really in the—”
“Where are you?”
“I just got home. Why?” I walk through the foyer, hearing faint voices.
“Hazel, I want you to turn around and leave. Come to me right now.”
His demand only annoys me more. “No, Gabriel, I’m done coming to you. If you want to talk, you can…” My voice trails off as the voices become louder, clearer. “What the…?”
“Hazel, listen to me…”
I almost drop my phone. The two voices are coming from the entertainment room. The first is clearly my father. The second one, though… It can’t be…
“Then let’s tell her together! Yes, she’s going to be mad, but if she loves you, she’ll understand. She’ll want you to be happy.”
“And you think that’s with you?”
“Fuck you, Heath. I’m not playing this game anymore. Clearly, I was wrong about what we had.”
“HAZEL—!”
I hang up on Gabriel as I turn the corner, finding Violet and my dad half-naked. “Dad?” I call his name, utterly shocked. “Violet?” My voice cracks.