“You should embrace your dynamic.”
“No matter my feelings on my dynamic, you would still lock me in this room.”
Shepherd countered. “You are my mate. It is my duty to protect you—even from yourself.”
“Can you not see your behavior is extreme and unhealthy for us both?” Claire made herself hold his gaze, made herself still. “It is unreasonable and unnatural. So back to my original question you are so skillfully trying to evade. Why didn’t you treat Svana in the same manner in which you treat me?”
“Svana is an Alpha.”
Leading him to the words Claire knew he was avoiding, feeling there might be some small victory in this for her, she hounded further. “But you held her as your mate.”
“It is different.” Shepherd grew agitated, the male’s breath coming faster, swelling his great chest. “I will not risk you—”
“Me what?” One black brow arched. “Betraying you?”
“I regret allowing conversation!” Shepherd quickly reared to stand over her. “My answers will not please you, and you only seek to put tension between us because you are disappointed in yourself for marking me. I am fully aware of your motivation, Claire.”
Her point had been made—goading him further, even though she was very tempted, would be purposeless.
There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare. –Sun Tzu
Claire had to agree. She and Shepherd had reached a point where fighting was not going to get them anywhere.
“I’m sorry… I just….” Claire let out a sigh, confessing something that cost her dearly in an effort to gain a stronger position. “I will admit I don’t really know how to process my marking you, and I am overwhelmed right now. Causing a quarrel was not my goal. You’ve made an effort. I know you have. I have questions. That is all.”
Shepherd exercised a chilling tone. “Your questions are incendiary.”
Claire used Shepherd’s favorite argument against him. “Considering the history between us, that is inescapable, but necessary if you want to move forward.”
“Fine. Then answer this.” Shepherd’s massive hand gripped her shoulder, assuring she could not scoot away. “What is it you found so appealing in the Beta? You touched him freely and were open with him. You were absolutely different with him than you are with me.”
The question was an unexpected one. “You mean Corday?”
Shepherd’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Enforcer Samuel Corday, yes.”
“First off, I did not even know his full name. Secondly, you are hurting my shoulder.” Claire glanced down to where he grasped, Shepherd’s hold lessening considerably at her complaint. “Thirdly, I hardly know him.”
“Do not play games with me, little one.”
Exasperated it needed to be spelled out, Claire blurted, “He’s nice. The man had no agenda. He never tried to touch me or was sexually inappropriate. Corday respected my thoughts and wishes. He made me feel safe and unthreatened when I was very frightened and alone. He put himself at great risk and actually helped the Omegas...” Claire’s voice dropped, the thread whirled, and something long unsaid slipped from her mouth. “The reason I originally came to you, if you had forgotten. Imagine how different our connection would be had you done the same—instead of weaving your mind games and constant manipulations. Instead of infidelity and threats!”
An animal roar, a thing of great violence ripped past the Alpha’s lips. “Every last thing I have done, EVERYTHING, has been for your benefit—even knowing my actions cost me your favor. THAT IS WHAT A WORTHY ALPHA DOES FOR HIS MATE!”
Claire was struck speechless by the echo at his end of the link. Shepherd was not lying or hiding facts in justifications or outright deception. Whether or not she agreed with him, he believed every last word—passionately. In his mind, he offered repeated sacrifice for her and had gained nothing by it but the burden of her unhappiness and disdain. But there was so much more to his uncustomary outburst, layers of suppressed feeling that had to be difficult for a man like Shepherd to process—all there in the link, exposed where she could see.
Jaw dropped, Claire felt everything inside him.
Shepherd looked lost for a moment, the same expression he’d worn when he came to her in the bathroom after fucking Svana... when she had laughed at him.
His name came softly to her lips, Claire calling to him for a reason she did not understand. “Shepherd...”
His great paw seemed to hesitate, a resigned movement in lifting from her shoulder and moving to cup her face. Old habits die hard. He was already reaching for the zipper of his pants, but Claire’s small hands stopped him, and for once he did not brush them aside. She tugged on his arms, urging Shepherd down to the wreck of their nest.
Watching her with unconvinced wariness, Shepherd stiffly complied.
Arranging the male with gentle prodding, Claire placed herself on his chest, pulling the blankets over them both so they could lay still in the burrow and have the mutual solitude of the dark. He did not purr, not at first, instead she hummed her strange music for him.