Home for the Holidays

“You don’t have to do anything.” But I do. Staring into her eyes makes my chest ache. She thinks she loves me.

“You want what your parents have. It’s not in me to be that way or give you that. You know what kind of family I come from. How we are.”

“They are. You can be anything you want. I want you. I love you.”

“You’re a young girl that believes in Christmas miracles. You don’t know what you want.” I watch as she fixes her dress. I do the same to my clothes. It doesn’t matter that it feels like my insides are being ripped out of my body, my cock still reacts to her nearness. It only goes to show what a bastard I truly am.

I want to grab her and drag her back to my bedroom and chain her to my bed so that I can keep her. It's inevitable that she’ll leave me. But I don’t want her to leave me after I’ve ruined her. I could never live with myself. Hell, I’m not sure I can live without her either.

“And if I’m pregnant?” I close my eyes for a second.

“I’d support you.” She gasps, taking a step back from me. I don’t want Angel around my family I sure as fuck don’t want a baby around them. “Get you a house.”

“Like a little mistress that no one would know about? You could stop by and fuck me and see your child?”

“You’re not a fucking mistress. Don’t say that shit.”

“Then don’t say things that make it sound that way,” she hisses. This is the first time I’ve seen anger from her that’s directed at me. “I want to love you, Logan. To give you all the things that you can’t buy. Show you that they’re worth more than anything you own, but I can’t do that if you don’t want it.” She grabs her purse.

“We both need time to think. This has been a lot in such a short amount of time.” I watch her leave, not saying a word. I’m not sure I could. I text Nick to take her home. This is supposed to be her home.

I head over to my bar, pouring myself a drink and downing it. I pour another one and nurse it this time. When my phone rings, I hurriedly try to get it but drop it on the ground. When I look at the screen, I see that it’s my mother.

“I told you I wasn’t coming.”

“It's why I came here, Logan. Now call off your guard dog and let me up.” I hang up and shoot my security a text message to let her in.

I check Angel’s location and see that my driver got her back to her parents. What the hell am I going to do? I need her, but I don’t think I can be what she needs. I pick up my glass and throw it. It shatters against the wall.

“You get that anger from your father.” I turn to see my mother. She pulls off her gloves. “I saw your ex-fiancé run from here with tears streaming down her face.”

“She was crying?” They hadn’t told me that. I itch to call Nick and ask him. That’s not really letting her go then is it? She said we need time. Who am I kidding? I don’t want time.

“Let it go, Logan. She’s not one of us. Now I do know a few ladies that are.” The thought of another woman makes my stomach turn. I can still smell my Angel on me.

“Get out.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Get the fuck out of mine and Angel’s home. And if she tells me you said something to her, I will cut you off.” My mother pales.

“Logan.” She tries to make her tone and face soft, but I’m not buying it.

“I will not repeat myself. I will have my security remove you if you don’t leave in the next few seconds.” She opens her mouth to say something, but the look I give her has her closing it quickly. She huffs and heads back for the elevator, realizing she’s not going to get anywhere with me tonight.

A moment later the doors open, and she steps on. “I’m not one of you,” I tell her. “Not anymore.” The doors close.

I’m not my family. Not anymore.23Angel“What do you think you’re doing?” my mom asks as I try and sneak out the front door. When I got home I spilled my guts to her.

She informed me she’s been on to us from day one but that she still saw a special spark between us. That the way we felt about each other was written all over our faces. She said she knows the look of love because she sees it on my dad’s face and when she looks in the mirror.