Taking the can of paint stripper off the bench, he poured it into an empty food can. Using a brush, he applied it to the wood of the chest.
He liked too many things about Phoebe. The way her hair hid her face like a curtain and then when it was drawn away discovering she’d hidden a smile from him. The way she insisted on helping. Phoebe was no shrinking violet. She was a survivor. JT’s baby was lucky. JT’s baby!
What was happening to him? Phoebe was JT’s wife. Was. It didn’t matter how attracted to her he was, she would always belong to JT. There was the bro code. You don’t take your best friend’s girl.
Ryan picked up the putty knife and began to scrape the paint off in thin sheets.
No matter how much you might want to.
A board creaked above him.
It didn’t matter. Phoebe didn’t feel that way about him. She’d been alone during a hard time in her life and she was searching for a connection to JT. All he meant to her was someone who had known the father of her baby. He would be her friend and nothing more.
Still, it was as if he saw the world as a better place when he was around her. Like his wounds were finally closing. That life could be good. Not black-and-white. Living or dying. But happy, healthy and hopeful.
“Hey, down there, your dinner is served.” There was a cheerful tone to her voice, like someone calling another they cared about.
Ryan’s heart thumped hard against his chest. Wouldn’t it be nice to be called to every meal that way? Even those little things improved life.
Phoebe was filling their glasses when Ryan’s footsteps drew her attention to the door of the basement. It had been over a year since she had called someone to dinner and here she was doing it twice in less than two weeks. She liked it. There was something about it that made her feel like all was as it should be in her world.
“Smells good.”
“You do know that all I did was pick it up, don’t you?” she said, putting the pitcher back on the corner.
“Yes, but you did a good job with that.”
He looked at the table. She had set their places with what little she could find in Ryan’s woefully low-stocked kitchen. Passing a shop, she’d impulsively bought a handful of flowers. She hoped he didn’t think she was suggesting that this was more than a friendly meal.
He nodded toward them. “Nice touch.”
She smiled. “I like fresh flowers. I couldn’t resist them.”
“I’ll have to remember that. Let me wash my hands.”
Ryan went to the sink. With his back to her she had a chance for a good look. What would it be like to run her hands across these wide shoulders? To cup what must be a firm butt?
She didn’t need to be thinking like that. But she was pregnant, not dead.
“What’s wrong? You feeling okay? You have an odd look on your face.”
She’d been caught ogling him. “No, no, I feel fine.”
A slow smile stole over his face and his eyes twinkled, pushing the worry away. “Okay, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”
Had he figured out what she’d been thinking?
They each took one of the two chairs at the table.
“I didn’t know what you liked so I got two kinds of soups and two sandwiches, hoping you liked at least one of each.”
“It all looks good.”
“I didn’t move your mail off the table. I thought you might not be able to find it if I did.” She pushed it toward him. Ryan’s hand brushed hers when he reached for it.
The flutter in her middle had nothing to do with the baby moving. She jerked her hand back.
“Is that a valid comment on my housekeeping skills?”
“Not really, but now that you mention it I’ve not really seen any of those skills outside your shop.”
He laughed. “I deserve that. I’m not here much and when I am I go downstairs. As for my mail, I usually let it stack up and then open anything that isn’t bills when I get around to it.” He glanced through the pile and pulled an envelope out, tearing it open. Slipping a card out, he studied it a moment, then laid it on the table. “It’s an invitation to Sophia’s wedding next weekend.”
“You weren’t kidding. That had to have come weeks ago.”
He gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sure it did.”
“I’m happy for her but I hate it she isn’t going to be there to deliver this baby. I’ve become attached to her. It’s hard to give her up. I don’t want just anyone to deliver. But I’ve got to make a choice soon.”
There was a long pause before Ryan leaned forward and said, “I’d like to do it.”
Phoebe sucked in a breath. “You want to do what?”
“Be your midwife. Would you let me take over from Sophia?”
She wasn’t sure it was a good idea but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no immediately. She’d been looking for emotional support, not medical help. Ryan being her midwife sounded far too personal. “Ooh, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”
“You need a midwife and I’m one.”
“Yes, but isn’t there something about not delivering people you know?”
His gaze held hers. “I don’t see it as being a problem. And I’d rather be the one there if there’s a complication than wishing I had been.”
She nodded.
“Phoebe, I’d like to be a part of bringing Joshua’s baby into the world.”
Wasn’t this what she’d been looking for? Someone to support her? Be there for her? She loved Sophia but she wasn’t available. Why shouldn’t Ryan be the one? Because she had feelings for him that had nothing to do with the baby.
He shifted forward in his chair. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”
“No, no. It’s okay. I’m just not sure what to say. Let me think about it.”
“Take all the time you need.”
She didn’t have much time. He had proved more than once he was the guy Joshua had said he was. What she knew was that she didn’t feel as alone as she had only a few weeks ago. Ryan had been tender and caring with her so why wouldn’t he be a good midwife? Right now what she needed to do was change the subject. “Where’s Sophia getting married?”
“I forget women are always interested in a wedding.” He slid the card toward her.
Phoebe picked it up. It was a classic embossed invitation. “They’re getting married at Overnewton. It’ll be a beautiful wedding. That’s an amazing place.”
Ryan gazed at her over his soup spoon.
“What wedding doesn’t a woman think is beautiful?”
“Mine wasn’t. We got married at the registry office.”
“Oh?”
“It was time for Joshua to ship out and we decided to just do it. I wore my best dress and he his dress uniform. And we did it.”
“Do you wish you’d had a fancier wedding?”
“Sometimes. But that was us back then. Fast in love, fast to the altar. It seemed exciting. My parents were gone. My brother showed up and one of Joshua’s friends from school was there. We all went out to eat lunch afterward. The next day Joshua was gone.”
“No honeymoon?”
“We took a trip into the mountains, camping, when he came home nine months later. Those were good times.”
It was nice to talk about Joshua. People were hesitant to ask about him. They were always afraid it would make her cry. What they didn’t understand was that she wanted to talk about the husband she’d lost. Wanted to remember. She and Joshua had had some fun times. It was a shame they had grown apart there at the end. She’d wanted better for him. For him to think of her positively.
She picked up her sandwich. “How about you? Ever been married?”
“No.”
“Not even close?”
“Nope. Never found the right one.”
“I bet there have been women who thought you were the right one.”
He shrugged.
“So you’ve been a ‘love them and leave them’ guy?”
/>
Ryan looked at her. “I wouldn’t say that. It’s more like it’s better not to get involved unless your heart is fully in it. Mine never has been.”
His eyes held a dark look, despite the effortlessness of the words. There was more to it than that but she didn’t know him well enough to probe further. “I guess that’s fair.”
“You know, Joshua used to talk about you all the time. It was Phoebe this and Phoebe that.”
“Really?” She’d always thought she’d been more like a toy that he’d come home to play with and then left behind to pick up again during the next holiday. Would things have been different between them if Joshua had not been gone so much?
“He talked about how you liked to camp and hike. What a good sport you were. I liked to hear stories about places you went, things you did.”
Guilt washed through her. And the last time Joshua had been home they’d done nothing special. Instead, they’d talked about getting a divorce. How had their relationship deteriorated so much? Would anyone ever love her like she needed to be loved? Want to come home to her every night? Have a family? She put down her half-eaten sandwich and pushed back her chair. “I need to get this cleaned up and get home. It’s getting late.”
“Do you mind if I finish my sandwich before we go?”