“Because I wanted to.” His eyes never wavered. Ryan was being just as direct.
She shifted on the stool. “That’s nice but it can’t happen again.”
“Why not? We’re both adults. I’m attracted to you. I believe you like me. So why not?”
“Because I don’t think I can handle any more emotional baggage right now. I’ve lost a husband who died thinking I no longer loved him. Finding out I was expecting his baby was a shock of a lifetime. Realizing I’m going to have to raise a baby on my own is all I can handle right now. I can’t take on more upheaval. I just think it would be easier if we remain friends and friends only.”
He nodded. “I understand.” Then he turned back to his work at the bench.
Phoebe believed he did. But she hadn’t missed that he’d made no promises. She pressed her lips together. Did she really want him to?
Ryan opened the door to the examination room at the clinic the next Wednesday afternoon. To his shock, Phoebe was his next patient. He hadn’t seen her since Saturday around noon when he’d had to leave her to deliver a baby. He’d told her she could stay as long as she wished and just to close up before she left as he doubted he’d be home before she was ready to leave.
Hours later he’d arrived home to a neat and tidy house. His bed had been made and his kitchen spotless. Even his pile of dirty clothes had gone. They were neatly folded on his bed. He’d had to admit it was nice to be cared for. It would be easy to get used to.
He’d been astonished at how much he’d missed Phoebe in the next few days and how much he was looking forward to seeing her again. After her statement about nothing more happening between them he didn’t want to push her further away. Still, the thought of kissing her kept running through his mind. He’d be tempted when he saw her, but instead he would put on his professional hat and control himself.
“Hi, Phoebe,” he said, as he stepped into the room and to the end of the table she was sitting on so he could face her. “This is a surprise.”
She smiled. “Hey.”
“Thanks for cleaning my house. You shouldn’t have but I’m glad you did.”
“It was nothing. It gave me something to do while I waited for the paint to dry. I saw the rocker. It looks great. You have a real talent.”
“Thanks. Did you ask to see me for some reason?”
“I did. I’d like you to deliver my baby.”
She had his complete attention.
“That is, if you still want to.”
Ryan did. He owed it to JT. For not only his life when they had been pinned down, but because he had made a new start because of him. He had left the army, become a midwife and moved to Australia. Death was no longer a daily event. Ryan had been afraid that if he’d continued to be a medic that he would have never seen another side of life. Would have gone deeper into depression. He’d needed a change and JT had helped him see that.
That was what it had been about when he’d first asked but now, if he was truthful with himself, he wanted to be there for Phoebe and baby. They had started to matter more than he would have ever believed. “I’d be honored.”
“I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have.”
“Thanks. So for your first official visit with me I’m going to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, check your blood pressure, measure the size of the baby and check the position by feeling your belly.”
“I understand.” She said this more to the floor than him.
“Hey, Phoebe.” She met his gaze. “Are you sure you’re good with me taking over?”
“I do want you to do the delivery, it’s just that this exam stuff the first time is a little … awkward.”
“For both of us. So what do you say that we get it over with and go have some dinner? Why don’t you lie down on the table and tell me what else you have planned for the baby’s room?”
Ryan enjoyed her nervous chatter. He didn’t blame her. More than once he reminded his hands not to tremble as he placed his hand on her skin and felt for the baby’s position. “Well, you and the baby are doing great. You get dressed and we’ll get that dinner.”
“Do you invite all your patients out to eat?” she asked in a saucy tone.
“No, I do not. I save that for very special ones.”
Less than half an hour later they were ordering their dinner at a café a few blocks from the hospital.
“I would have been glad to cook.”
“You’ve done enough of that for me.”
“As compared to all you have done for me?” Phoebe glared at him.
“Okay, let’s not fight over who has done more.” Ryan grinned back at her. “So how have you been?”
“I’m feeling fine. Just ready for this baby to get here and tired of people treating me like I can’t do anything for myself. I was moving a box across the floor in my classroom the other day. It wasn’t heavy but the janitor rushed to help me. On the tram on the way in a woman offered to hold my schoolbag. She said, ‘Honey, isn’t that too heavy for you?’ I know she was just being nice but I’d like to go somewhere and enjoy being me instead of a pregnant woman.”
“People are just naturally helpful when someone is carrying a baby.”
The waiter brought their dinner.
“I know. But besides the baby, there’s also Phoebe Taylor in here.” She pointed to her chest.
He knew that too well. The sweet taste of her kiss still lingered in his memory like the fragrance of fresh-cut wood. Still, he shouldn’t have stepped over that line. He owed her an apology but he couldn’t bring himself to utter the words. Nothing in him regretted kissing her, not even for a second. Maybe he could show her he’d honor her decision in another way. He would show her he could be a gentleman. That she had nothing to fear on that level from him.
“Sophia really wants me at her wedding Friday evening. Would you like to go with me? We could dance the night away. I’ll promise not to treat you like a pregnant woman.” That was a promise he already knew he would break. He was far too attracted to her. The pregnancy hadn’t even entered his mind when he’d kissed her. Still he would work not to go beyond that barrier Phoebe had erected.
At her skeptical look, he said, “No touching outside of dancing. Just friends.”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on, Phoebe, you know y
ou want to. Dinner and dancing. You don’t want me to show up dateless, now, do you?”
She smiled at that. “I don’t think you would have any trouble getting a date if you wanted one.”
“It seems I’m having to work pretty hard right now to get one.”
Phoebe smirked. “Okay, but only because you sound so pitiful. My dancing may be more like swaying.”
“I don’t mind. We’ll just go and enjoy ourselves.”
“All right. It may be a long time before I get to do something like that again.”
“Well, every man wants to hear that kind of enthusiasm when he asks someone out.”
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. Thanks for inviting me.”
The waiter stopped by the table and refilled their glasses.
“That was much better. Why don’t I bring the chest of drawers and the rocker out when I come to pick you up? That’s if you don’t mind me dressing at your place.”
“That sounds fine. I can hardly wait to see what they look like in the baby’s room.”
The wedding suddenly didn’t seem like the drudgery that Ryan had thought it would be.
They finishing their meal talking about movies they’d enjoyed and places they would one day like to visit.
On Friday, Phoebe wasn’t sure which she was looking forward to more, seeing the furniture installed in the baby’s room or the evening of dancing with Ryan. Thankfully it was a school holiday so she didn’t have to lose any of her leave time by being off that day.
Ryan had said she was special. She liked being special to someone and especially to him. But it wasn’t something she was going to let go any further.
Ryan had taken over her care. As odd as it was, it seemed right to let him be there when the baby was born. In the last couple of weeks he had more than proved himself the compassionate and understanding person Joshua had promised he would be. She couldn’t have asked for better help. And it had been cheerfully given. She liked Ryan too much. Appreciated his support. She could use all those attributes when she delivered.