Phoebe walked with him out to the veranda. At the steps he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her tightly against him, giving her a kiss. Letting her go, he hurried down the steps.
“A little overdressed for a Saturday morning, aren’t you, dear?”
Phoebe smiled as Ryan threw up a hand and continued down the path. “Good morning, Mrs. Rosenheim. Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
Phoebe waved as he pulled away.
“I see you found a young man who’ll be around for you.” Mrs. Rosenheim’s voice carried across the gardens.
Phoebe waved and called, “I hope I have.”
Ryan pulled up in front of his house, turned off the engine and banged his head against the steering wheel a couple of times.
What had he done? He knew the answer and didn’t like it one bit. He’d spent the night with his best friend’s wife. Crossed the professional line and, worse, he’d started to think of Phoebe as more than a friend. She was his lover. How low could he go?
He’d even spent most of the morning playing house with her. He had nothing emotionally to offer Phoebe. She needed someone to rely on, to love her and the baby. He wasn’t that guy. He didn’t commit to anybody. There wasn’t even a cat or a dog in his life.
He had no intention of pledging himself to a woman with a child. Or to any woman, for that matter. He wouldn’t be any good at it. Worse, didn’t even want to try. He wouldn’t take the chance on heartache. Fun while it lasted was all he’d ever wanted. He’d had all the pain he was willing to live with. He’d see to the practical things, like getting the baby’s room ready and even delivering the baby, but then he was backing out.
Some other man would take his place. Phoebe was an attractive woman. No, that wasn’t strong enough. She was beautiful and smart, funny, with a quick wit, and someone far better than him would come along. He was afraid he would hurt her, but over time she would get over it. Someone would enter her life and give her what she deserved. Maybe in time she’d forgive him.
He sat up and stared out the window. His hands tightened on the wheel. Someone else would share her bed. The thought made him sick. But it was the way things should be. For her sake and the baby’s.
Ryan opened the door of the car and climbed out. There was a light mist, just as there had been the evening he’d found Phoebe on his doorstep. Would he always think of her when it rained? No, he couldn’t let things go any further, but he worried they had already gone too far. He’d enjoyed her body too much, liked having someone to laugh with, eat with, to look forward to seeing. He’d never had trouble keeping himself shut off but now he couldn’t seem to get past his feelings for Phoebe.
He needed to get into his shop, work. Push her out of his mind. He groaned. The project he was working on was the cradle. He wasn’t even safe from her in his only sanctuary. How had she invaded his life so completely in such a short time? Why had he let her? Because he’d fallen for her. Cared about her more than he had anyone since JT. How ironic was that?
Disgusted with himself, he climbed out of his car and slammed the door before heading for his front door.
Maybe when he finished the cradle and Phoebe delivered, he would be able to get her out of his mind. A nagging voice kept telling him that wasn’t going to happen.
CHAPTER NINE
PHOEBE WALKED THROUGH the archway entrance of the hospital on Thursday afternoon on her way to her appointment. Her soft-soled shoes made squeaking sounds as she crossed the tiles on the floor of the lobby. At the lift, she pushed the button for the sixth floor. She could hardly contain her excitement over seeing Ryan.
Despite their plans, she’d not seen him since he’d left her house on Saturday morning. She’d only heard from him once. That had been a quick phone call to say that he couldn’t make it to dinner. It was a full moon and he’d been busy. He needed to remain near the hospital.
She understood. When it was her turn to deliver she would want to know he was close. He had asked how she was doing but otherwise the call had been short and to the point. Still, she had to remember that he worked odd hours and had no control over when those would be.
The doors to the lift whooshed open and she entered. Would he kiss her? Probably not. That would be very unprofessional during an antenatal visit. Maybe he would take her out to eat or, better yet, home. She had missed his touch but more than that she missed talking and laughing with him.
She was acting like a silly schoolgirl with her first crush. Here she was almost a mother and giddy over a man.
The lift doors opened again and Phoebe stepped out and walked toward the clinic. Inside, she signed in at the window. She took a chair and looked at the pictures of the medical staff lining the wall. They included Ryan. He looked handsome but far too serious in his picture. Nothing like the man with the good sense of humor that she knew. Besides him there were a number of people she’d met or recognized from the wedding.
“Phoebe.”
It was Ryan’s voice. She would have known it anywhere. Every night she heard it in her dreams. Her head jerked up and their gazes met. There was a flicker of delight in his before it turned guarded. Wasn’t he glad to see her?
Phoebe smiled. “Hi.”
He cleared his throat and said, “Hello. Are you ready to come back?”
She moved to stand. It took her a second more than she would have liked but Ryan hadn’t moved from his position at the door. A few days ago he would have hurried to offer her help. “Yes, I’m ready.”
“Come this way.”
What was going on? Maybe he didn’t want anyone to see him touch her or overhear them. Still, this was a little much. She’d always spoken in a friendly manner to Sophia. That was part of the appeal of having a midwife—it was more like having a friend there to help deliver her.
“Follow me,” he said, and led her down the hallway to an exam room. Once she’d entered he closed the door.
She sat on the exam table.
“So how have you been?” Ryan asked, as if speaking to someone he’d just met.
Phoebe gave him a questioning look. Ryan couldn’t see it because his focus was on the computer. Other than those few seconds when their eyes had met after he’d called her name he hadn’t looked at her again.
“Any pains?”
Just in her heart all of a sudden. “No.”
“Well, it won’t be long now.”
Why was he talking to her like that? As if he didn’t really know her? Was he afraid someone might walk in on them? “No, it won’t. Next week is my due date.”
He finally looked up but his focus was over her right shoulder. “You know that the chance of a baby coming on a due date is slim. A first baby is almost always late.”
“I know.” This all business attitude was getting old. “How are you, Ryan? I’ve missed you this week.”
He went back to studying the computer screen. “I’ve been busy. Sophia being out makes things a little complicated.”
Apparently their relationship was included in that.
“Any chance we could get something to eat this evening?”
“I have a mother in labor on her way in. I’m going to the unit as soon as I’m finished here.”
Phoebe had never received the brush-off before but she recognized it when she heard it. I won’t
cry, I won’t cry. She clenched her teeth.
Ryan was acting as if they’d never been intimate. But they were at the clinic and he should act professionally. But he was overdoing it.
He left without giving her another look.
What had happened between now and Saturday morning that had made him so distant? He was acting like the guy she’d met that first night. When he returned she was going to find out what was going on.
She was prepared and waiting on the table when he returned. He wasn’t by himself. A woman in her mid-twenties followed him into the room.
“Phoebe, this is Stacy. She’s the new midwife who has joined our group. Would you be willing to let her do the exam?”
She looked at him in disbelief. He wouldn’t meet her gaze. Now he didn’t even want to touch her.
“All right.” Phoebe drew the words out.
Stacy stepped to the table. “Phoebe, may I check the position of the baby? I promise I have gentle hands.”
Phoebe said nothing. She knew gentle hands and those belonged to Ryan.
As Stacy’s hand moved over her expanded middle, she rattled off some numbers while Ryan typed on the computer.
“Well, you’re doing fine. Everything is as it should be. I don’t see why you won’t have an uneventful delivery,” Stacy gushed. “I look forward to being there.”
“What?” Phoebe looked at Ryan. Nothing was as it should be.
He looked over her head as he spoke. “Stacy is going to step in for me. My, uh, caseload is heavy and she’s taking some of my patients.”
Stacy was all smiles when she said, “I’ll see you here next week for your appointment or at the delivery, whichever comes first. Do you have any questions for us?”
Yes, she had a pile of questions but none that she could ask in front of Stacy.
“No” came out sounding weak.
“Okay, then. I’ll see you next week,” Stacy said, without seeming to notice the tension between her and Ryan.
He opened the door and left without even looking at her. Stacy followed.