"Danny...I want nothing more than to have sex with you right now..."
"But..." she prompts.
"...but, I want this to be special. I want you to know that I'm willing to wait until it's right. I want it to be perfect for you."
She stands up from the couch and has such a hauntingly beautiful smile on her face. Her dimples slightly wink at me. She steps into my body, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her cheek against my chest. My arms go around her and I squeeze. After placing a kiss to the top of her head, I rest my chin there.
Glancing around her living room, I see several pictures on the end table. One is of a man in a police uniform who I assume to be her dad. I pull out of her embrace and walk up to the assembly of photos.
Danny comes to stand beside me. Bending over, she picks up the one I was looking at. "This is my dad, Clayton Cross. This was taken a few years before he got fired."
I look at the picture. I can see she inherited his dimples as he flashes a toothy grin at the camera.
She puts that picture down and picks up another. This is of a gorgeous woman in her forties and there is no doubt she's Danny's mother. They look like sisters.
I take the picture from her to look at it more closely. The resemblance is uncanny. "There's no mistaken where you get your looks from."
She gives a light laugh. She takes the picture back, gently rubbing her fingertip over it. "That's what everyone says. Her name was Rosalyn."
I jolt in stunned disbelief. "Was?"
I just assumed Danny's mother was alive. Why, I don't know. Maybe because she had told me her dad was dead, but never mentioned her mother. I just assumed wrong.
"She died almost two years ago. Glioblastoma multiforme. It's a very aggressive and usually fatal type of brain cancer."
I don't know what to say. Her words are filled with sadness but she is not painfully grieving. If anything, she is speaking with such a fondness for her mother that I ache for her to speak of me that way.
She puts her mom's picture down and picks up another that I had not noticed. It's of Danny. She's wearing a long black gown that is fitted to her body. It has short sleeves and a very demure neckline that gives no hint of the cleavage below. Danny's hair is a bit shorter, just at her shoulders, and it is streaked with red and black color. She has the nose ring and eyebrow piercing and in all other ways looks the same. It couldn't have been taken that long ago.
I take all of that in but it is not what is most interesting about the picture. What catches my eye and holds it is the fact that Danny is holding a violin in one hand and its bow in the other.
She plays the violin and I'm astounded.
I look over at her and she's enjoying the look of shock on my face. "That was taken my first year at Julliard."
My mouth falls open in astonishment and I look back at the picture. "You were just as beautiful then, but I think I'm partial to the purple hair," I murmur.
Her laugh washes over me and she takes the picture back and sets it on the table. Taking my hand, she pulls me into the kitchen. "Let me make lunch for us and you can ask me any questions you want. I can see them floating all over your face."
I sit down at the counter and watch as she pulls out stuff from the fridge to make sandwiches. Her back is turned to me and I just stare at her for a second. She so beautiful, and complex, and damaged...and yet she's about the most joyful and giving person I know. It is incomprehensible to me and I realize I have something to learn from this girl. Being in Danny's presence makes me realize my life has been pretty lackluster.
"So, tell me more about your mother."
She puts all of the sandwich stuff on the counter and a smile lights up her face. "Oh...let me tell you...Rosalyn Cross was a handful. She was one of the funniest people I've known. And she was beautiful, and kind, and smart."
I watch as Danny puts our sandwiches together while talking. She never misses a beat which tells me that it is both natural and comfortable for her to talk about her mom.
"When my dad spiraled down, she stood by him as long as she could. She loved him passionately. But she wasn't going to let him impact negatively on my life so she made him leave." She pauses and looks me in the eye. "It was the bravest thing I'd ever seen in my life."
I cannot even imagine the sacrifice that Danny's mother had to make to ensure her daughter was safe. I can't imagine what it was like for Danny to love a father that was totally self-destructive. And yet, here she is with deep and abiding love for both of them.
Sliding my sandwich across to me, she turns to pull a beer out of the fridge and holds it up. I nod and she twists the cap off and she hands it to me. "I can't get over how much you two look alike."
"Yup. She always called me her 'mini-me'." She has a dreamy look on her face as she is soaking in that happy memory.
Danny takes a bite of her sandwich, chews and swallows "The thing I will always be the most grateful for was the way she encouraged me to be me. My mother was athletic and I know really wanted me to play sports. But I loved music and because I loved it, she encouraged me to be passionate about it. When I wanted to pierce my eyebrow when I was sixteen, she let me do it. Because she knew I craved individuality. I would not be what I am today if it wasn't for her."
"Then I owe your mom a debt of gratitude because there isn't any part of you that I'm not insanely attracted to."
Danny gives me a shy smile and continues eating.
"So, tell me about Julliard. And particularly why you are not there anymore."
Danny nods her head up and down while she is chewing. After she swallows, she picks my beer up and takes a sip. "So, I applied to and got accepted there. I want to get my Bachelor's in Music. And, well...I loved it there, of course. Music is what I'm meant to do. But when mom got sick, I had to drop out and care for her. It took her only eleven months to die after her diagnosis but it was long enough that I lost my scholarship. And after, dealing with mom's funeral and all of her medical expenses...it just wasn't feasible for me to return."
"When you say feasible...you mean it wasn't affordable?"
"Yeah. It's just not affordable right now. I sold my mom's house and got a little money from that, but I'm working to get the rest of her medical debt paid. I'm taking a few classes now but I'll try to get back into a music school once I get back on my feet. It might not be Julliard but I'll find somewhere that will work."
She gives me a brash smile, and again...I'm amazed at her positive spirit and outlook. How in the world did this incredible creature survive it all? Losing both of her parents, in horrific ways, and then losing her music education. And still, she smiles and keeps on truckin'? I mean, who does that? Before I can even think if it's wise to do so, I find myself offering.
"I can help you, Danny. Pay for the expenses."
Her eyes snap to mine and I see a brief moment of fear in them. And then it slips away and she gives me a genuine smile. "No, you can't. This is something I have to do. But you have totally melted my heart that you offered."
I try to give her a smile but it fails. I don't want her to have to do this on her own. I want to help...to protect her...to bring her joy. And why am I feeling this way? I barely know this girl and yet...I feel closer to her than I ever felt to Angeline in the two years we dated.
I get up from my stool and walk over to her. Her eyes are wide as I put one hand behind her head to cup it. Her eyes are more green today than hazel and I hold them. "I didn't make that offer lightly, Danny. I have an incredible trust fund at my disposal and if you need the help, I'll give it. Even if you want to call it a loan. With that said, I understand if you need to do it on your own, too."
Danny reaches up with her hand and runs her finger tips over my bottom lip. It is a surprisingly sweet gesture but still has the power to practically bring me to my knees.
"Thank you for understanding", she says.
And then she replaces her fingertips with her mouth.
CHAPTER 8
Danny
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I'm falling and I'm falling hard. I'm at work right now and I'm just counting down the minutes until I see Ryan. He's going to come by here when I get off and then we are going over to my apartment to hang. Which loosely means to make out.
That makes me smile. And feel flushed. The attraction I'm feeling for Ryan is unbelievably insane. He only has to look at me in a certain way and I'm ready to shed all my clothes.
We hung out in my apartment all day yesterday until he had to leave for an evening hockey practice. We spent some of the time talking, and we watched a movie. And the rest of the time we spent fooling around. It was awesome and it is frightening the speed with which I am becoming lost to this man.
I frown remembering our conversation when he offered to help me with mom's medical expenses. I had a brief moment of panic.
For just a moment, a fear so intense coursed through me that my stomach knotted up. His offer to help me was made without reservation, without expectation of something in return, and was made solely because he wanted to help me. It was the sweetest, kindest, most selfless thing anyone has done for me in a long time and that in and of itself scared the shit out of me.
There...I said it...I'm afraid of what Ryan Burnham can make me feel. I'm afraid because I barely survived the trauma of losing my mother and my music education all in one fell swoop. I've since that time purposely avoided things that could hurt me again. And let's face it...falling in love is a risky venture.
But I cannot ignore the fact that I feel very alive when I'm around Ryan. The barest trace of his fingertip across my skin makes me squirm. The timber of his voice can make my pulse flutter. He has come into my life for a reason and I've decided that I just can't turn my head if that bitch Karma wants to pay me a visit. I think I'm due for a measure of happiness. I just hope Ryan is that measure.
"Hey, gorgeous."
I spin around and my mouth instantly waters. Ryan is standing there wearing a pair of dark jeans that hang low on his hips. He has on a charcoal gray, long sleeved Henley. His hair is artfully unkempt and I want to run my hands through it.
"Hi, back at ya."
"You about ready?"
I nod and take off my apron. I step from behind the counter and all of a sudden, I'm shy. I look down at the floor but then he's tilting my chin up with his forefinger. When I meet his eyes, he swoops down and gives me a sweet kiss. One of the customers at the counter hoots his approval and I pull back with a huge grin on my face.