Off Limits (Off 2)

But not enough apparently.

I ease back into remembering the last fifteen minutes of our session. I told Dr. Antoniak about Emily. It felt silly at first for me to bring her up, considering she seemed to be the one good thing I had going for me right now. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't very concerned over how she would play in my recovery.

Part of my therapy is confronting my trauma. Confronting trauma means talking about it. Emily is the only person I know of that has come even close to getting me to open up about anything. Frankly, I'm scared shitless that she'll continue to expose my demons.

I have to reiterate to myself that what Emily and I have is nothing more than a sexual relationship. However, I'm not stupid enough to ignore the fact that sex is an emotional activity...particularly for women.

When I see her again, I really, really need to set some boundaries with her and make sure she understands there are certain lines that cannot be crossed.

CHAPTER 19

Emily

Danny exits her apartment building and sees me. She heads my way with a smile on her face and I stare in marvel at this woman...my sister-in-law. She's always so happy and self-assured. And I'm sure that extra soft look on her face now has something to do with the fact that she's knocked up with my little niece or nephew.

Reaching me, she pulls me into a surprisingly strong hug and says, "I'm so glad you could come tonight. It's going to be so much fun."

"Me, too."

Ryan got us invitations to the owner's box tonight. Usually they gave out several each game to player's family members but I have yet to sit in such luxury during a hockey game. I'm looking forward to not having to stand in a long line to pee or get a pretzel.

Oh, the little luxuries in life now are surprisingly simple for me.

Danny loops her arm in mine and we take off down W. 33rd. We're both wearing matching Burnham jerseys and the people walking in our direction are all decked out in their Rangers gear. I love looking for my brother's jersey on other people. It makes me so proud.

"So how are you feeling?" I ask her as we walk with the flow of the crowd.

"Surprisingly good. I've had a little nausea but nothing that a few crackers doesn't settle right down. Oh, and my boobs hurt like hell already. I had to tell Ryan to go easy on them last night."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. T-M-I. Now that image is burned into my brain."

Danny giggles at me and I grin back at her. I love her.

"Heard any more from your mom or dad?"

"A few emails from Dad to check in," I comment.

I'm really liking his shortened title. Dad. It sounds much better than Father.

I had told both Danny and Ryan about the botched dinner a few nights ago. Ryan wasn't surprised by our father's reaction as they've been communicating more and more. It started out with emails and now they've progressed to a few phone calls. Ryan hopes that he can get dad to come for a visit soon. Maybe our mother will thaw out a bit too. They shouldn't miss the birth of their first grandchild.

We make it into the arena and find the owner's box. The large wood-paneled room has artfully framed photographs of various players and Rangers executives. There is a full service bar with bartender and a buffet layout of the most delicious looking foods. I'm starved, I realize.

After Danny makes some small talk with a few of the top dogs, we make up some plates and choose two plush leather chairs in the front row. We got here early so we are enjoying watching the players warm up. I smile to myself the way Danny's eyes never leave Ryan while he's out on the ice.

I want to pee before the game starts so I make a dash to the uber-luxurious bathroom. They even have sumptuous hand towels and expensive soaps lying out. Nice touch!

When I finish, I head back to the bar to get me and Danny some bottled waters. As I'm standing there, I feel a sudden prickling on the back of my neck and I turn around. My heart comes to a standstill for a painful second then starts beating rapidly.

Nix is standing there, five feet away. He gives me a devilish grin and I smile back. He's standing with an older man, who I'll go out on a limb and guess is his father. Grabbing my waters, I walk over to him and he introduces me.

"Emily...this is my dad, Hank Caldwell. Dad...this is Emily Burnham. She's Ryan Burnham's sister."

Nix's dad pumps my hand in an exuberant shake and says, "It's a pleasure, Emily. Your brother is a fine man and a damned good hockey player."

"It's good to meet you too, Mr. Caldwell."

"None of that. You call me Hank. All my friends do."

I'm amazed at how outgoing Nix's dad is. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Linc is, after all, a people person. Just because Nix is a snarly son-of-a-bitch half the time doesn't mean his family is that way.

I turn to look at Nix. "What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town."

Hank looks at Nix questioningly and all Nix says is, "I went to Bethesda, Dad."

His dad just nods in understanding and makes no comment.

"I had to go to Maryland for a few days for a business trip."

"Oh...well, welcome back."

He smiles at me and it's so nice. He actually looks happy to see me, which is something to say for Nix Caldwell. I know I'm certainly glad to see him. He has practically dominated my thoughts since Saturday night.

The game is getting ready to start so we take our seats. Nix and Hank sit next to me and I make introductions with Danny. Then we settle in to watch the game.

***

The first two periods are not going well for the Rangers and they are down by two goals at the end of the second period. We all get up to stretch and get more drinks. I'm waiting for Danny to come out of the bathroom, when I can feel Nix step up behind me. He's standing close and my body tingles just from the prospect that he may brush up against me. He leans down and whispers near my ear, "Have you missed me?"

I turn slowly to look at him and our faces are inches apart. I glance around to make sure his dad isn't standing nearby but we are thankfully alone.

"Maybe," I reply.

"Miss me bad enough you'll let me come home with you tonight?"

I suck in my breath and a rush of warmth courses through me. I don't need to think about this. Here I've been worrying the last few days that Nix was backing off. Here I've been fantasizing the last few days about having sex with Nix. There's no way I'm going to pass this up.

"Okay," I whisper.

The blinding smile that Nix gives me is like nothing I've seen before. I've seen him smile, of course, and it's been beautiful. But the smile he is giving me right now is full of light and joy. It's amazing and I'm momentarily struck stupid.

Did my agreement to take him home tonight do that?

***

The game is over and it was a stunner. The Rangers came back with only four minutes left and tied the game up. After a futile overtime period, we ultimately won in a shootout thanks to Linc's overly impressive goalie skills. We were all so crazed with excitement that when Linc stopped the last shot, I threw my arms around Danny and squeezed the daylights out of her. Then I spun the other way, seeing Nix there with his hand raised in the air for a high-five. I ignored it, choosing instead to throw my arms around his neck in a fierce hug. He was momentarily stunned then his arms wrapped around me tight, his nose burying briefly in my hair. When he released me, I gave his father a hug as well, although I certainly didn't plaster my body to his the way I had with Nix.

Danny merely raised her eyebrows at me when I told her that Nix was going to gi

ve us a ride but she didn't question me. She and Nix talked about the Marine Corps and Sarge on the way to Danny's while I sat in the back seat and listened to them. After we arrived, Danny gave me one fleeting look in her eyes that said "be careful" then she hopped out of Nix's truck.

Now, as Nix and I are walking up to my apartment, I have a sudden case of nervousness. I know we are getting ready to cross a bridge that will not be open to further traffic once we make it over. It feels so weird...walking side by side, not talking, not holding hands. We are both entering this building with the sole purpose of screwing each other's brain out.

I don't know whether to be mortified or titillated.

As I pull my key out, Nix brushes the hair from the back of my neck and leans down to place a warm, kiss there. I shiver, almost uncontrollably and can't get the damn key in the door. He covers my hands with his own and deftly helps me insert it into the lock. He pushes the door open and waits for me to go in.

When I walk inside, I'm grateful that the living room is dark. Fil is most likely in her room studying for when I look down the hall, I see the soft glow of light coming out from underneath her door.

I drop my purse and keys on the kitchen counter and turn to Nix, suddenly nervous and at a loss as to what to do.

"Would you like something to drink?"

He walks toward me, shaking his head. "No."

"Do you want anything?"

My question was said innocently enough but his eyes darken with meaning.

"I want you," he replies as he comes to stand directly in front of me.

And oh, hell...my knees practically give out over the sexy rumble in his voice. I just stare up at him, not sure what to do. He moves even closer, so our bodies are just barely touching--nothing more than a whisper between us--and I can feel my skin tightening all over.

"Take me to your bedroom now, Emily, or we'll have to put on a show for your roommate."

I swallow hard. Taking a step to the side, I walk by him and head down the hall to my room. I can feel him right on my heels...stalking me. I can feel the pulse at the base of my throat starting to thump with anticipation, giving credence to the rush of blood flowing through my veins.

As soon as I step into my bedroom, Nix has his arms banding around me from behind. I can hear him kick the door shut but I can't turn to see it. The front of his body is pressed tight against my back, his arms circled around me...one forearm tightened across my chest, the other around my waist.