I walk toward him on shaking legs. My fingertips are tingling with just the thought of touching his skin. I know I don't need to touch his body to read the tattoo, but I'm going to.
Walking up to the side where the tattoo starts, I note that Nix is watching me intently. I circle around to his back. I trail my fingers along his skin, appreciating the way his muscles twitch at my touch. I finally get to the spot where the tattoo had previously ended and I touch the words, "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1929-1968". That was the last entry I remembered seeing.
I peer at the next word. It simply says, "Emily". And the next word..."Emily".
And the next..."Emily".
I let my fingers brush the words.
I'm stunned. My name must be on his body dozens upon dozens of times within the scroll. I follow it across his ribs, making my way in front of him again. I slide my fingers over the tattoo...Emily, Emily, Emily...on and on, up over his chest and then coming down to rest over his heart. The last two words say, "My Emily".
I drag my eyes up to Nix who is staring at me intensely. He's holding his breath, waiting for my reaction. And he gets it.
I immediately start sobbing.
"Oh, Emily...don't cry," he tries to sooth.
His arms come around me and he pulls me into his chest. My cheek rests on top of my name.
Nix kisses the top of my head. "Do you like it?"
I nod my head and sob harder.
Finally, he picks me up, grabs a box of tissues from the dresser and carries me to the bed. Sitting on the edge, he cradles me in his lap and lets me cry. When I'm finally worn out, I lay there quietly, taking in the beauty that is this man.
My Nix.
Just as I'm his Emily.
Nix places a butterfly of a kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you for coming here with me, Em. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to talk to Paul had you not come."
I lean back so I can see his face and I bring my hand up to stroke his cheek. "I'm glad you asked me."
Nix covers my hand with his own and closes his eyes, relishing the touch. When he opens them, they are burning. "I want to make love to you, Emily. Will you let me?"
Oh, my. Words I have wanted to hear and yet I don't want to read meaning into them.
I nod my head slowly, holding my tongue.
Nix swoops in and masters my lips with his. My mouth opens readily for him and his tongue settles in for a leisurely exploration. I sink into the feeling, never wanting to let it go.
Nix suddenly pulls back. "Did you notice I said I wanted to 'make love'?"
He's smiling at me and this time, it's different than anything I've ever seen on his face before. It's completely at ease...filled with peace.
"I did notice."
"I just wanted to make sure you heard that. Because...it's different now with us."
"How so?" I whisper.
"Well, first, don't go thinking my style is going to change. I'm still more likely than not going to drive into you so hard you'll be screaming the walls down."
Just the thought makes my toes curl.
"The difference is now...I love you more than the air I breathe and I feel so very empty without you in my life. So no matter how down and dirty we get...no matter how hard or fast we go...it will always be making love, baby."
I sit up fast and flip my leg over Nix's. I straddle him and grab his face between my hands. I behold his lovely green eyes as they look at me with unfettered love and desire. "Oh, Nix. I love you so very much. More than I ever imagined possible."
He gives me a brief kiss then pulls back. "I have never felt so lost as I have these past two weeks. I can't believe I never even recognized the depth of feeling I had for you...until I lost it. I'm so sorry I did that to you, Emily. I promise I will hold your heart with the greatest of care if you'll trust it to me."
I sigh and lean my forehead against his. I finally get it. I get how love can run so deep that it touches the very fiber of your being.
"Nix...you are the most amazing man I have ever known. I'm lost without you, too. My heart is yours for however long you want to keep it."
"How about forever?" he says, rubbing his nose along mine.
"You got a deal."
Nix leans his face toward mine and we enter into a kiss that defies logic. It's deeper than a canyon, higher than the stratosphere and hotter than lava. It speaks of the promise of love to come and a gratefulness for what we've found together.
We strip each other quickly, murmuring sweet words of love and sexy words filled with passion.
Just before Nix slides into me, I take another look at my name inked over his heart, and I know that we have both battled improbable odds to find our way into each other's lives. We are so different from one another, yet we are the same. He and I have worked hard to overcome all of the things that had previously held us back.
We have found love together, and it is beyond glorious.
EPILOGUE
Emily
6 Months Later...
I pull one pillowcase out of the hamper and hold it up to my nose. Inhaling deeply, I release a soft sigh. Nothing smells better than clean sheets out of the dryer. Working a fluffy, feather pillow into the casing, I smile over this new domesticity I've come to love.
I'm making up Nix's bed. We finally have finished fixing the water damage to his house and he's moved back home. I say "we" finished the remodels because I'm quite proud to have helped with more than just making up his bed with fresh linens. These past several months, I've spent most of my weekends here with Nix, helping him to hammer and paint. I've come to love this house and the times I've spent here with him.
But I love all my times spent with Nix, no matter where we are.
As I finish the second pillow, the phone rings. I reach over and pick it up.
"Hello...Nix Caldwell's personal maid."
Warm la
ughter greets me on the other end. It's Paul. "Hey, Em. My man got you in a French Maid outfit?"
I snort. "Hardly...he prefers me to do my cleaning naked."
I hear Paul suck in a large breath and it sounds like he's choking on the other end. After a fit of laughter mixed with coughs, he asks, "Speaking of the perv...is he around?"
"Yep. Hold on..."
Putting my hand over the receiver, I yell toward the open bedroom door. Nix is downstairs in the living room trying to hook up all of his electronics. I had left him down there a bit ago, cursing under his breath. "Nix! Paul's on the phone."
I hear a loud curse this time, and something bangs to the floor. Nix picks up the receiver downstairs and I hang up.
Nix and Paul sure have come a long way since that night many months ago when Nix confessed his non-existent sins to both of us. Released from pain and guilt, Nix easily fell back into the solid friendship with Paul that had developed before their injuries.
My heart nearly swells to bursting just thinking about the way Nix easily laughs with Paul. Or the way that they tease each other mercilessly. Heck...Paul even has Nix laughing at his prosthetic jokes. It's a friendship that will last beyond this lifetime.
Pulling out the fitted sheet, I snap it out and let it float over the enormous mattress. Nix bought a new king size bed when he moved back into his home. He said he had no doubt that we would use every square inch of it and my face flushes thinking of all the times we christened it. Climbing onto the bed to tuck the sheet into the far corner, I remember just last night he had me on my back with my head hanging off the side of the mattress. I could see his bathroom door from my practically upside-down view while he showered heaven on my body. I shudder from the memory.
Before I can start to move to the next corner, I can feel the mattress dip and Nix grabs hold of my waist from behind me. He pulls my hips back until they nestle against his very hard erection. Desire pools warm and deep in my belly and I rub up against him. The move is calculated to drive him crazy but he's in a mood to take his time. I know this because he does nothing more than purr in his throat before pushing me down to the mattress and slowly covers me with his body.
Rolling to his side, he brings me with him, the heat from his chest burning through the thin material of the shirt covering my back. His arm wraps snug around my waist and he squeezes me tight. I can still feel his hardness pressed against my butt, but he does nothing more than stick his nose in my hair and breathe in deeply. This will definitely be slow and soft, I can tell.