Off the Record (Off 3)

It's all I need and I'm exploding so violently, my vision goes dim. My legs lock up again, and I hear him murmuring against me, "That was fucking beautiful."

When I fall from the stars he launched me to, I look down and he is softly kissing the insides of my thighs. His hands are stroking my stomach.

Linc finally glances up at me and his eyes are dark. And all I can think is that I need him to get naked and be inside of me...right now.

He stands up and leans over me, placing a hand on either side of my head. Lowering his face to mine, he lightly brushes his lips against the corner of my mouth.

"Did you like that?" he murmurs.

"Yes," I tell him as I try to capture his lips for a kiss.

Instead, he places a small kiss on my nose and says, "I did too. Now, get a good night's sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

He stands up from me and I pop up quickly into a kneeling position on the bed, grabbing at his hand.

"Wait...where are you going? We're not done here."

Linc pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingertips, lightly biting the end of one. "Yes, we are."

"No...you can't just start that and not finish."

Gently smiling, Linc brings his hands up and cups my face. He leans in and looks in my eyes. "Ever...I did finish what I started. I never intended for it to go any further than that tonight."

I'm lost. How can Linc bring me to two seismic orgasms and then just leave me? How can he not be crawling all over and up in me right now? And the most important question...did I do something wrong? I glance down and see the rock hard bulge straining the front of his jeans, so I know he wants me. But why doesn't he act on it?

"I don't understand," I say weakly.

He kisses me then. It's warm and my mouth opens willingly. He slowly and softly touches his tongue to mine and then pulls back. "I'm not the guy you think I am, Ever. I'm not about to fuck you when you already think that is my modus operandi. I want you to see I don't just live by what my dick tells me to do."

My mouth falls open. Linc releases my face and steps back. I scramble from the bed and put my robe back on, belting it tightly. I feel way too vulnerable buck ass naked while he's fully dressed.

"But I don't think that about you," I tell him.

"Don't you?"

Well, okay, I deserve that doubt. And I have thought that about him in the past. And hell, maybe I still do think that about him, but it's also not something that bothers me anymore. I understand he lives his life freely and that may include sexual interludes with women.

I'm free and unattached. No relationship to hold me back. I'm becoming more sexually liberal every minute I spend in Linc's presence.

Shit! I want to be that woman he has an interlude with right now.

And I want him to feel as good as he made me feel tonight.

"Linc...that article I wrote has nothing to do with what's going on right now."

"But it does, Ever. It has everything to do with me not sinking myself into you tonight."

God help me, but his words are a complete turn on. I want this man but I have no clue what is really holding him back. He's turning me down tonight and turning my insides out.

Bitter emotions well up inside of me as I think about Marc cheating. And how maybe, just maybe, I wasn't enough to satisfy him. I had not wanted to let my head wander to that place of doubt and insecurity but it was raging inside of me now.

"I get it," I say, hoping my voice isn't as pathetic as I feel right now. "This probably is a bad idea anyway."

My eyes drop to the floor and I'm flooded with shame that I'm standing here, still flushed from two amazing orgasms, and Linc is going to walk out the door.

Linc's hand comes up and tilts my head up so I'm looking at him. His eyes are apologetic, and that flares my embarrassment even hotter. "I'm sorry. The timing isn't right."

Timing isn't right? How can it not be right? He just feasted on my body and had a woman willingly opening her legs for him. How is the timing not right?

Moron!

I just nod my head and attempt a sincere smile. "Sure. No problem."

He looks at me for a moment longer then drops his hand. "Get some sleep. We'll meet for breakfast tomorrow at about 7:00am."

And then he leaves, softly closing the door behind him.

I'm dying here.

Every single waking moment--and some when I'm sleeping--are spent fantasizing about Ever. The remaining two days we spent in Oklahoma were awkward and frustrating for me. I would have rather cut off my glove hand than leave her that night. But I felt it was the right thing to do at the time.

Now, I'm not so sure.

Just thinking about the way I made her come against my tongue has me getting hard as a rock right now and I'm due to have company in a few moments.

Our work in Oklahoma was rewarding and exhausting. Ever and I slipped back into a mutual friendship that was cooler than what we had before, but by no means completely arctic. We never spoke another word about that night but damned if I could stop thinking about it.

I wonder if she thought about it too.

And while I have solid intentions of biding my time before I take Ever into my bed, it's killing me the wait. I don't know at what point I prove to her that I'm not the man-whore she described me to be in that fucking article. I have no clue how to go about making her see it. She's told me that she thinks I'm a good guy, but who the fuck knows what that means? And God forbid, I'd actually just come out and ask her.

No...that would be too easy.

I check my watch and note that my dinner guest should be here soon. My cousin, Renner, is stopping by. She's an airline attendant with Delta and is on an evening layover. She's normally based out of Dublin, Ireland so she's not around much. I haven't seen her in a few months so I offered her to stay at my place rather than a hotel. Nix and Emily aren't able to come over for dinner as they already had plans with Emily's parents who are visiting.

Ever is out right now. She said she had some errands to do but I made enough food for her if she shows up.

As if right on cue, Renner rings the doorbell and I let her in. After a hard hug, I take in the fact that she looks super tired. She's still wearing her Delta uniform, though she's loosened the tie around her neck.

Growing up, Renner and her older brother, Flynn, always hung out with me and Nix. Her father is my dad's brother and we all lived within a few blocks of each other. There are only a few years of age separating all of us. Nix has just turned twenty-seven. Flynn and I, at twenty-four, were born only two months apart, and Renner is the baby at twenty-two. We are about as close as siblings as you can get without actually being siblings. While Flynn inherited the Caldwell golden brown hair, Renner's was a dark red, inherited directly from her mother, who is a native of Ireland. Renner has pale green eyes, and those could be from her mother as well, since the Caldwell's side seem to border from darker green to hazel.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, Lincoln Log," she says, kicking off her heels and pulling her hair down out of the tightly wound knot at the base of her neck.

I laugh. "Don't you think it's time to let go of the childhood nicknames?"

"No way. That's a good one and will stick around forever."

She follows me into the kitchen and I pour her a glass of wine. She takes an appreciative sip and sighs. I get to work on finishing up dinner, which is just a simple, seared salmon and a salad. I'll keep Ever's in the warming pan for her.

"So, where is she?"

I look at Renner in surprise. "Where's who?"

"The reporter that you've chained to your hip."

"How in the hell do you know about that?"

She grins at me. "Nix tattled on you. Sent me an email. Thought I'd get a laugh out of it, which I did. Flattering article, by the way."

I grit my teeth slightly, because yeah, that article still stings. "Well, hopefully she'll get it right the second time around."

"I'm assuming you're

on your best behavior?"

I plate up the salmon and salad, and set it in front of her. I top off her wine. Fixing my own, I set down across the counter from her. "I'm on my only behavior, Ren. I'm not going to be different. I want her to report on the true me."

"But doesn't the real you include getting into women's panties?"

I wince. That's true. "Yeah, but not to the extent she had me painted. Geez...she made it sound like I was with multiple women in one night. I mean...I'm good, but I'm not that good."

Renner laughs. "Well, if she needs stories...I can tell her about all the times in high school that you struck out, pathetic loser that you are."

I pick up a cucumber out of my salad and throw it at her. "You are still such a brat."

We eat in companionable silence for a few minutes. We have that type of relationship where we can chat like crazy about anything and everything, or we can just be quiet with our own thoughts.

Finally I pipe up. "So, are you still seeing that Irish pilot? What's his name?"

A sound comes out of her mouth that is a cross between a curse and a snort. "Cormac is his name, and no. Just this past weekend I found out the asshole is married."

"Ouch. I'm sorry." I watch as Renner pushes her salad around on her plate. She looks so sad. "Do I need to go kick his ass for you? I mean, just for having a name like Cormac, he deserves an ass kicking."