“I kind of think you do, since you didn’t tell me to fuck off and then run upstairs to barricade yourself in that apartment.”
He had a point. Damn Quinn for making her learn to open up. She took a sip of the coffee. It should be too suffocating outside for hot coffee, but there was something really comforting about holding a mug of warmth in her hands. Where to begin? “I suppose you heard about my and Quinn’s brilliant plan.”
“I did.”
Of course he had. The rumor mill in Devil’s Falls surprised even her sometimes. Not that the whole thing with Quinn had been a secret, exactly, but now she was going to have to face people looking at her—and probably agreeing with Quinn that she was entirely unsuitable to date for real.
She winced. Yep. Still hurts.
“It goes like this—things got a little out of control on the sexual front.” She ignored the look on his face like he might be having instant regrets about giving her a chance to talk about this. Because apparently she did need to talk it out. “Like crazy-good out of control.”
“Spare me the details. Please.”
Right. He wasn’t Jules. He was just her stand-in. “Long story, short—it turns out I don’t totally despise Quinn and maybe I might have made the mistake—no doubt fueled by the crazy-good out of control sex—of maybe falling for him just a little. Which is bad.”
“Why is it bad?”
She wouldn’t have had to explain that to Jules…except maybe she would have asked the same question. Aubry took another sip of coffee. “Because it would never work. There’s a reason we’ve hated each other from the moment we met, and a little sex doesn’t change that.” No matter how much she’d fooled herself into thinking it might. “It wasn’t so bad at my convention, but once we got to that damn hotel in Napa Valley, it was like stepping into a different world—a world where I don’t fit.”
“That’s not Quinn’s world anymore.”
Which was exactly what Quinn had said. “You didn’t see him there, Jul—er, Daniel. He fits. He might pretend he doesn’t, but he does. Mingling with those people—a good portion of which are his family—is second nature.”
“Because if he didn’t learn how to deal with them, that world would have eaten him alive.” He held up a hand when she started to argue. “Here’s the deal, Aubry. I don’t know what else happened, but if that’s your biggest beef with him, it’s bullshit. I’ve known him since we were kids in grade school, and he’s never wanted that life—not in thirty-four years—so I kind of doubt he suddenly developed a desire to put on a stupid monkey suit and dance to the tune his parents set.”
“We don’t fit.”
“You keep saying that. I don’t know that you’d be this torn up about the whole thing if it was true.”
“What?”
Daniel sat on the step next to her, careful not to touch her. “The things that cut the deepest are the desires for things we want most.”
She blinked. “Damn, Daniel, that’s deep.”
“I read it in a fortune cookie.”
“No, you didn’t.” She closed her eyes for a few seconds, letting Ninja Kitteh’s purrs vibrate through her. “I don’t know how much Jules has told you about me—”
“She hasn’t told me shit, but I’m not an idiot. You’re anti-social to an alarming degree, you never talk about your past, and in the years I’ve known you, you’ve never left town to visit your family or had them come through here. That kind of thing speaks for itself.”
Maybe it did. She hadn’t been aware anyone noticed that last bit, but then Daniel was just full of surprises today. “Okay, fine. I like him. A lot. A whole hell of a lot. I feel like I found a missing piece of myself that I didn’t even know was missing. Which is really freaking scary. Because if he gave it to me, he can take it away.” It kind of felt like he already had. She took a hasty drink of her coffee and almost scalded her throat.
“Does he feel the same?”
“Not anymore.” She sounded so damn miserable it made her sick. “He said he wanted to date me, to make a real go of it, but the first time I freak out, he bailed.” She turned to Daniel. “You know me. You know how often I freak out.”
“Pretty sure it’s a daily thing.”
“Exactly. If the first bump in the road is the one that derails us, it was never going to work.” Which was exactly what he’d said.
“Did you tell him that you’re in love with him?”
She started, earning a warning hiss from Ninja Kitteh. “What? Don’t say that word!”
“Yeah, I thought so.” He sighed. “That shit is worth fighting for, Aubry. Believe me. It sounds like you guys had a hell of a fight, but Quinn’s family doesn’t exactly bring out the best in anyone. Why don’t you give it a few days and call him?”