Confessions of a Litigation God

“Matt… this is my roommate, Macy. Macy… this is Matt. ”

Macy turns around, running her eyes lasciviously over me, looking at my crotch extra close, and says, “Dayum, Mac. He is H-O-T. If you ever get tired of hitting that, let me know. I’ll take him for a test drive. ”

I know my eyes practically bug out of my head, because while Mac has told me that Macy is over-the-top crazy and has practically no sexual morals, I really didn’t know what she meant. Now, I kind of see it. She’s f**king dead serious that she would gladly f**k me if Mac gets tired.

And… because I’m a man, of course, my thoughts automatically go to having a three-way with her and Mac. I can’t help it. That’s what men do, and while I entertain the thought briefly, I know there’s no way in hell Mac would ever go for it. I’d never ask her, because I can tell she’s never the type that would share.

Macy would.

In a heartbeat.

But not Mac.

Macy grabs the Chinese food from my hands and says, “Nice to meet you, and thanks for the food. I’m starving. ”

Turning to Mac, I look at her with a grin, but she’s looking at Macy’s retreating back. “That’s Matt’s and my dinner. ”

She yells back, “I’m willing to share. Come on in and let’s eat. ”

Mac turns to look at me in apology. She takes the flowers from my hands, eyes soft and warm, while whispering, “I’m sorry. We can make up some plates and go eat in my bedroom if you want. ”

Now, while the prospect of eating Chinese food na**d on Mac’s bed appeals to me greatly, and it would be na**d eating because we made a pact this weekend that if we had any food in the bed, we at least had to be naked, I simply cannot help but want to know more about this weird creature, Macy Carrington.

“No way. I want to get to know this roommate of yours a little bit better. ”

Mac just rolls her eyes at me, but she giggles, so I know she understands what I’m saying. That I just find this outspoken, loose woman fascinating, especially since they are best friends and she’s like the polar opposite of Mac. Actually, in my pre-Mac days, Macy would have been a perfect match for me.

We walk into the kitchen, and Mac gets a vase to put the flowers in. I see Macy has already taken three plates out of the cupboard and set them on the kitchen table. We all sit down and start pulling food out of the boxes… sweet and sour pork, cold sesame noodles, and shrimp fried rice.

“So, Matt… you and Mac were so loud this weekend. I told Mac you two made me horny, just listening to you. ”

I choke, and choke hard, on the fried rice I’m trying to swallow. I take a sip of water to wash it down, my eyes watering slightly.

“Shut up, Macy,” Mac says sternly, although her eyes are laughing at her roommate. “You can stop trying to shock him now. ”

Macy just gives me a goofy grin and pushes some noodles in her mouth. “But seriously, isn’t this a little uncouth… banging your employee. ”

“Macy!” Mac growls at her. “Enough. ”

Macy laughs and punches Mac lightly on the arm. “Okay… I’m done. ”

For a while, I forget that I’m sitting in my lover’s apartment, having a fantastically fun conversation with two witty and beautiful women, and I don’t think it’s crossed my mind once about all of the dark thoughts I had earlier. In fact, this seems to feel almost… natural, as evidenced by the way that my hand would stray over to Mac’s knee and just rub it softly because I happened to be thinking about her at that moment. She would smile at me, and I would return it… because that felt natural too.

Fuck, I need a do-over because I think otherwise, I’m pretty much doomed.

“So, Matt… where do you live?” Macy asks.

“I live over in Chelsea. ”

“That’s closer to your office—how come you two just don’t go there after work? I mean, it’s not like you do anything but eat and screw like bunnies. ”

True enough. That’s pretty much all we do, except we do talk and oh, we watch Family Guy sometimes too.

Mac turns to look at me with a smile and playfully punches me on the shoulder. “Yeah, how come you never take me to your place?”

I grin back at her, because we’re joking around… right? “Because I never invite the women I’m just fu—”

I stop suddenly, realizing that I really don’t think we are playing. I really don’t think what I was getting ready to say is going to be received as teasing by Mac. I look at her and my eyes apologize even if the words don’t immediately spill out of my lips.

The look on her face is brave, but I can tell she’s hurt. Even so, her tone of voice is teasing… jovial. “You mean—you don’t invite the women you’re just f**king over to your place. ”

She’s hiding the fact that I just hurt her, and that makes me feel ten times worse because she should just be a woman and get offended. Slap me, dump Chinese food in my lap, and kick me in the nuts.

Even though I just spoke the truth, I didn’t have to say that. I could have lied, and Mac would never know that deep down inside… I’m still just a slime ball when it comes to women.

Macy cautiously rises from her chair. “I think I’m going to head to bed now and give you two a little space. ”

Neither Mac nor I acknowledge her exit. I need to set this straight. I need to take away the hurt, but I also need to make sure she understands… what I said wasn’t done in a cruel vein.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her genuinely. “That was crude. But it’s the truth. I told you I don’t do relationships, Mac. I always—”

Mac holds her hand up, and I stop mid-sentence. “No, what you said was honest and you’re right… you’ve been very clear about things with me. If there’s one thing I appreciate about you, is that you always give me honesty. ”

She gives me an understanding smile, and the message is clear. She appreciates my honesty more than she hates the hurt, and f**k… that right there makes me feel a million times worse.