‘Are you all right?’
‘Fine…I’m fine.’ Being in love wasn’t easy, she had discovered.
But she had gone too far to turn back now, Liv realised as she raised her face for Cade’s kiss. Her heart, her mind, her body and her soul were committed to this man. She had waited all her life for something like this, but nothing could have prepared her for the reality; not even Cade’s lessons, she reflected ruefully.
‘Hey, don’t look so serious,’ he said. ‘This is supposed to be learning through fun.’
She relaxed. While this lasted, she wasn’t going to waste a single moment of it on regret.
Relieved to feel the change in her, Cade felt his mood lighten too. He started playing with her, teasing and laughing with her, until finally she took him in both hands in a failed attempt to control him. Her fingers would barely close over half of him. ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’ she teased against his mouth.
‘I’m sure you’ll think of something,’ he murmured. ‘You usually do. But until then…’ Disentangling himself, he moved down the bed.
Liv gasped at the easy way her legs slipped over Cade’s shoulders. She was so vulnerable, so completely exposed to him, and yet as his tongue started working she could only raise her hips to encourage him to do more. The hot, wet rasp of his tongue, moving with such thrilling expertise, was so frighteningly good, how would she ever live without it? ‘Oh, Cade, that’s so good…Don’t stop…Don’t ever stop…’ And then her words dissolved into excited sounds of need and hunger. She wanted him. She must have him now. She couldn’t wait. ‘Please,’ she begged him when he paused for breath.
There was no need to say more. Cade was at her command. Virile and irresistible, he held her stare firmly in his as he teased her with just the tip of his erection. She groaned with expectation, but he made her wait. ‘Now!’ she begged him hoarsely. ‘I must have you now…I need it now—’
She was using him, but watching her gave him so much pleasure he hardly cared. He had intended to draw back and teach Liv a different type of lesson. But it was too late for that, now he had to bring this to its natural conclusion.
Digging her fingers into his hips, she worked her body fiercely.
‘Slowly,’ he murmured, taking control.
She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t think, she was all sensation; all love and dreamy happiness. She moaned rhythmically, gratefully, as Cade moved deep inside her. He brought her to the brink very quickly, working steadily and skilfully until with one last firm thrust he tumbled her over the edge of darkness into a starburst storm of exploding light.
This was so much more than sex for him. He felt touched and privileged to see Liv resting her hands above her head in an attitude of trust and sensuality. He had watched her become a woman in his arms, and had awakened feelings in himself he could never have imagined. He felt stronger when he held her, and could drown in the fragrance of her desire. She had turned him into a romantic, something he had thought impossible.
They took a shower together, entwined in each other’s arms. There was a poignancy to their kisses now as they knew that time was flying past, and that soon their time together would be over.
‘Don’t leave me,’ she said, reaching out to him.
He could never be with her; not in the way she wanted him to be. He had kidded himself long enough that he could be like other people—that he deserved to be happy; that he could feel, and that he could make those feelings last. But he could see now that by letting in one emotion he opened the floodgates, and he wouldn’t risk that, not even for Liv.
‘Cade…’ She held onto his wrist, sensing he wanted to pull away. She was every bit as stubborn as he was.
‘You rest,’ he said. It was the kindest way he could think of to leave her.
A cold hand gripped Liv’s heart as she lay motionless on Cade’s bed. There had been no lingering glances. He had gently freed himself and gone. He was like sand slipping through her fingers. The same doubts she’d always had flooded back to haunt her. She really loved Cade, but this was just one brief interlude in his life and now it was over.
Was she still in the running for the job? Of course not! Was she mad as well as stupid? Liv tried and failed to blank her mind as she lay in her attic room in the mean little bed. She had to put this behind her. She had to forget about Cade, and get on with her life…
Was he staring at the ceiling in his room? What would he do now? Would he find another housekeeper? Would he find someone with the right qualifications to do what was needed?
Swinging out of bed, she began to pace. Cade would be sleeping soundly. Cade had never fooled himself about any of this. He had tried to warn her about what she was getting into, but she hadn’t listened. Crossing her arms over her head, she tried to shut out the truth: she hadn’t wanted to listen.
He’d tried to sleep, but ended up pacing the room. Then he asked himself what he was achieving by it. Throwing a towel over his shoulder, he headed barefoot for the gym. A tough workout always helped him forget…He paused at the foot of the attic stairs, and then kept on walking. Liv deserved better than this. He’d take up her offer to stand at his side at the ball, and then he’d release her. He had to think of her now; he had to let her go. He’d find some other woman to provide the pastoral care his facility sorely needed—another nurse, someone older…He didn’t want to think about it now.
Staring into the darkness, Liv was lost in her thoughts. She thought lessons in love would sort her out, but she just felt everything more. Someone should have warned her—
Someone had, and that someone was Cade.
She sat up in bed. Was this her life now? Was feeling sorry for herself the future? Could she not look at this experience another way? She had started a journey of self-discovery and she could either run back home again, or keep on with that journey and see this as a turning point, a growing-up point; a time to stop daydreaming and start taking the consequences for her actions.
He couldn’t have been more surprised to bump into Liv after his dawn jog the following morning. The mist was still lying low on dew-stained grass waiting for the sun to burn it away. She was on her way back like him, jogging at a steady pace, but coming from the opposite direction. ‘I didn’t expect to see you up so early.’ He held the kitchen door for her, having made up his mind to keep everything as normal as possible between them. He trusted her to keep her promise and couldn’t risk any upsets before the ball. He needed Liv at his side in the right frame of mind.
‘Breakfast?’ she asked him, smiling as if everything were right with the world. ‘Or would you rather take a shower first?’
For a moment he was taken aback. But this was what he wanted, wasn’t it: Liv—wholly professional Liv—up to speed and ready to work her magic? That didn’t prevent him feeling a prick to his male ego. Shouldn’t she at least look a little downcast this morning?
His inner voice commanded him to wise up. This was what he wanted. He wished Liv well with all his heart. ‘Orange juice?’ He crossed to the fridge.
‘I’ll squeeze some fresh.’
‘Good idea…I’m starving; I’ll start cooking. We can shower later—’
‘I’ll take a bath,’ she reminded him dryly. ‘Unless you fixed a shower in my bathroom during the night.’
He almost smiled, and had to stop himself. Anyone listening would think they were old hands at running the place together. ‘I’ll get it fixed,’ he promised.
‘But not this morning,’ Liv told him. ‘We’ve too much to do before the ball—though, just in case you forget, I’ve pinned the telephone number of a plumber to the notice-board—’
‘Notice-board?’ He saw it then, a big, ugly cork thing she’d hung on the wall. ‘You did that?’
‘Your tool kit was in the garage providing a home for the local spider colony.’
His lips pressed down as he hummed an answer. Liv was full of surprises. She had another one waiting for him when he came down from his shower to find her ready to leave the house. ‘Are you going somewhere?’ His heart started beating in an extraordinary way as he checked for bags to make sure she wasn’t moving out.