"He'd kill you, Eli. He might even kill me, leopard or no leopard. At the very least, he'd make me pay with the blood of the people I care about."
His golden gaze searched her blue one. One hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb sliding over her skin. "That's it. You observed I had no phone and you just confirmed it out loud?"
She nodded. "And don't forget the part where you totally shot down my Zen fantasy."
His smile was slow in coming but it was genuine and it warmed his eyes. "I'll have to see what I can do about replacing that one with something else."
She felt a shiver go right through her. She had wanted to see if she could make him smile like that. He might be the worst grump in the world in the morning with no coffee and he had definitely shattered every dream she had of a Zen master, but he was gorgeous and all man standing in her space, smelling like a rain forest and sex. He looked darkly sensual, and intensely masculine.
"One more thing, Kitten," Eli added, his fingers skimming her chin with the same gentle caress, robbing her of breath. "I wouldn't bet the bank on Cordeau being able to kill me so easily."
She shivered again, this time because he sounded like he meant it. She even took a step back but bumped against the counter. There was no way to look away from his focused stare. She was caught there, her mouth dry, her heart pounding. His dangerous quality was back, clinging to him like a second skin. He wasn't the same kind of dangerous as Rafe, but she could see the predator in him now. She saw the leopard, and there was no doubt in her mind that he could kill if he needed to. That he would kill if he needed to.
"Don't." He said the word softly.
She couldn't breathe. She stared up at him, shaking her head, having no idea what he meant.
"Don't look at me like that. Don't ever be afraid of me. You took a step back and you look as if you think I might hit you. That could never happen, baby."
Clutching the coffee cup, she lifted her hand to her scalp, the memory of his behavior in the warehouse and the truck washing over her. What had she been thinking? That he really was Ridley Cromer just because they'd had sex? Her body ached all over. She had marks on her skin. That hadn't been making love. They'd had sex. Rough sex. She'd suddenly felt all sweet and melty inside. That didn't change who or what he was.
"Kitten." He groaned softly, and his fingers went to her scalp, massaging gently. "I didn't hit you. Remember that when you're condemning me. You attacked me more than once and I restrained you, but I didn't hit you. In the truck, I had to stop you. A leopard can track through scent. Your scent could not be on that ground. You knew he was leopard and you knew you were risking him finding you."
"I wanted to get away from you," she admitted in a low voice.
She hated the way her body went into meltdown at his touch. That confused her more than anything else. She should have been screaming at him not to touch her, but instead, when he did, even in such a simple way, she wanted to get closer to him. Maybe she wasn't slutty, but certainly the leopard inside of her had to be.
"I'm well aware you wanted to get away from me, Cat," Eli said, in a voice totally devoid of feeling.
Her gaze jumped to his. His hooded, sensual eyes were back to moving over her face broodingly. She pressed her lips together and then lifted her chin, forcing herself to look him straight in the eyes.
"Eli, what if I don't want all this? What if my leopard chooses your leopard, but I don't choose you? What happens then?"
His face softened. "Your leopard has already chosen, Kitten. So has mine. I'm the only man who has ever been inside of you and I'm the only man who ever will. If your choice isn't me right now, I'll have to work a hell of a lot harder to make certain it is." His thumb was back to moving gently over her skin. "Too much has happened too fast for you to be able to even have a chance at knowing what or who you want. That's why we're here. Cordeau won't find you here and neither will the DEA. You have time to figure it out."
She didn't take her gaze from his. "Eli, you are the DEA."
"Not here, I'm not."
"How do I know what's real and what isn't with you?" Her heart pounded when she asked, but she watched his face, hoping for a clue.
"You don't at first," he said. "That's something I have to prove to you. But I'm asking for you to give me a chance to prove it to you."
She kept her eyes on his. "You didn't answer my question, Eli. What if my leopard chooses you and I don't? What happens?"
He was silent for a long time. She didn't think he'd answer her. His thumb slid over her lips and then down to her chin. Featherlight. She felt his touch all the way to her most feminine core. Her body trembled, but more to the point, she felt the sudden damp heat between her legs. She bit at her lower lip and then sharply inhaled when his gaze settled there. Just the small act of breathing lifted her breasts beneath his flannel shirt and she became acutely aware she wore nothing beneath it. What had possessed her to be so stupid?
He was close. So close she felt heat radiating off of him. She felt every breath he took. She felt his hunger. It was so close to the surface, and it was there in the glittering gold of his eyes. Intense. Powerful. Very focused on her. She had only to take one small step and she'd be in his arms. She wanted to be in his arms and that was just humiliating.
He had all the experience and she had none. Sex could be another way to control her. What if he interrogated her while they were having sex? She'd probably tell him everything. She'd never be any kind of a spy, that was for certain.
Abruptly Eli stepped back away from her, raking his fingers through his hair. "Woman, you have to stop thinking so much. Your face is an open book. I get that I fucked up and I'm doing my best to make up for that, but it hurts like hell when you look at me that way. I'm going to take my shower and you put together breakfast. That will give us both a little time away from each other."
She nodded. Grateful and disappointed at the same time. Which again, was crazy and totally humiliating. She didn't seem to have any self-control around him.
"As for your question, I don't honestly have an answer to that. I don't, Cat. I hadn't even considered that a woman might not want the same man her leopard wants because as a rule, they're mates. The humans are and so are the leopards."
"So it's possible I could still leave if my leopard accepted yours," she persisted. She needed to know. She had to know she had a choice.
"I think it would be improbable that would happen, but I think any of us can walk away if we decide we don't want what we have." He stepped into her space again, his fingers on her chin, tilting her head so she could look into his eyes, eyes that were pure cat. "As to whether or not I would turn into Cordeau without you, I can't honestly say." He dropped his hand abruptly and turned and walked out of the room.
Catarina found herself shaking. She walked to the kitchen chair with her coffee, sat down and drew up her legs. What had he meant by that strange statement? He couldn't possibly turn into Rafe. Eli might be leopard, but he wouldn't be a part of the DEA if he wanted to commit the kinds of crimes Rafe did. Rafe's organization spanned three states. He had a large network, and it was growing every day. She just couldn't see Eli running guns or keeping prostitutes in line or creating a drug empire. Killing maybe, the rest of it no way.
How could she want a man so much when she didn't trust him? She was very honest with herself. Eli wasn't Ridley but she was still very attracted to him. Their chemistry was off the charts. Still, sex wasn't making love. People hooked up all the time for great sex, didn't they? Couldn't she just view it like that? He knew about the little hussy inside of her. She could bide her time until her leopard made her appearance, use Eli for great sex and then if things went bad, just walk away.
She sipped at her coffee, surprised to find it was warm, not hot. She'd always been good at figuring things out. She just had to get past the horrible hole in her heart. She still felt as if she'd been ripped to pieces, shredded inside and left empty. The problem was, she only felt that way when she was alone, when Eli wasn't right next to her, and that, she knew, was a very bad sign.
With a little sigh she got up and checked the fridge and cupboards and then found Eli's pots and pans. She liked the kitchen and the views it had. She could look out the wide windows while she cooked and watch the wind playing through the trees. It was beautiful country. She had chosen to come to Texas because she was certain the state was so large Rafe wouldn't be able to find her there.
This countryside was beautiful, with far more trees than she expected. Eli said his leopard could run free here. She wondered what that would be like. What it would feel like. She suddenly had the desire to run free as a leopard, just to experience it. She was afraid, because she'd seen Rafe's leopard and she knew the animal was even more dangerous than the man.
Even as a teenager, Catarina realized the leopard drove Rafe hard and it took a great deal of discipline and energy to keep that part of him under control. The leopard's traits were definitely infused in the man and now, after seeing Eli and knowing what was inside of him, she knew his leopard drove him as well.
She paused in the act of stirring her sauce to press a hand to her stomach. Her leopard drove her as well. She'd been violent with Eli twice. More, she had practically forced him to have sex with her. She gained just a little sympathy for Rafe. Her sauce bubbled and she quickly began to stir it again. Leopards, like people, had to have their own personalities, and some had to be more difficult than others. More prone to violence. More alpha.
She glanced toward the open archway leading toward the master bedroom. The water had gone off. Eli would be with her again soon. His leopard was pure alpha, the same as Rafe's leopard had to be. She couldn't imagine the two men coming together in any kind of agreement. They would each view the other as a threat and would feel the need to neutralize that threat.
She fixed two plates, arranging them artistically, because for her, it wasn't just about really good food, but good presentation as well.
Remembering the look on Eli's face when he'd said that about losing her made her heart beat faster. He walked in when she was setting the plates on the table. He looked good. He smelled good. And when he smiled at her, he took her breath away.
She sank into the chair across the table from him, pulled up her bare feet and sat tailor fashion. "I hope you like it. I made us a skillet breakfast with hash browns and country ham biscuits. The beignets just came out of the oil and are very hot, and you have fresh coffee."
Eli flashed another smile and something inside her responded with a warm glow. "You have no idea what a treat it is to smell food cooking in this house. I bought the place and nearly burned it down the first time I ever used that stove."