"I'm naked on the kitchen floor."
"That's right, baby, and it was heaven. I want to do you in every fucking room I have. Outside. Inside. Hell, on the roof."
"This isn't me," she denied, biting her lower lip.
He leaned down and licked along her lip to soothe the sting. The action set off another series of aftershocks and she gasped.
"This is you, Catarina. It was you wanting to please me when I told you to get on your knees. You didn't have to, but you wanted to."
He saw the truth on her face. She had wanted to. He leaned closer and brushed his mouth over hers. "I bet my taste is still in your mouth. You wanted all of it, didn't you? You didn't want to stop."
A single sound slipped from her throat. Her lashes fluttered.
"It wasn't about what you could get from me. You knelt in front of me and you were wet, dripping wet with your mouth around my cock. That was you. All you. There's nothing wrong with being that person. In fact, you should be rejoicing. People go their entire lives without ever having what we just had."
"I don't want this to be me. I want to have love in my life. I want to be loved. I don't want to be the kind of person who uses a man for sex and has him use me."
He framed her face again and brushed a kiss across her lips. "Baby, here's a little newsflash for you. There's no way in hell a man could be with you and not fall in love."
9
CATARINA sat in the very comfortable chair on the front porch of Eli's ranch house. She was still warm from the bath he'd run for her and snug in another one of his very expensive flannel shirts. He took care of her. She had to admit that whether she wanted to or not.
Lying on the kitchen floor, totally naked, she'd felt humiliated that she'd jumped him again, and this time it was far, far worse than the last time because she really was addicted to the taste of him. And to his body. And to her absolute mortification, she liked rough sex. On the floor. In the kitchen.
She pressed her fingers to her eyes to try to ease the headache she couldn't quite get rid of. Her skull felt far too tight, as if it no longer fit inside her skin. The worst was knowing Eli knew the truth about her. She had wanted to kneel at his feet. She liked his hands hard in her hair, guiding her mouth. She liked the low, almost soft voice that carried absolute command when he told her what he wanted.
She groaned softly trying to get the sounds of her own moans and pleas out of her head. In her wildest dreams she'd never imagined ending up bare naked on the kitchen floor, wild and out of control.
She knew if she'd been with Rafe naked on the floor, it would have ended very differently. Instead of holding her the way Eli had he would have left her lying there, uncaring that she was upset and confused. Uncaring that her body felt a little bruised and battered, although very sated.
Eli had taken the time to talk to her. He'd been honest, maybe even brutally so, but he did it in a way that made her feel she mattered and he just wanted her to understand and accept who she was. He obviously didn't think something was wrong with her.
He had been gentle, carrying her through to the bathroom, running her a hot bath, telling her to clean up and he'd bring her another shirt. He had done the dishes and made fresh coffee by the time she was out. Then he carried her out to the porch and told her to take a little break, he'd be out soon. Rafe wouldn't have done any of that.
There was no sound, but she knew the instant Eli stepped through the door onto the porch. "I brought a couple of beignets to go with coffee, Kitten," he said, and bent to brush a kiss across her mouth. He put the coffee and small plate of dessert beside her on the little end table and then pulled up a chair behind her.
"What are you doing?" She glanced over her shoulder to see him sprawled in a chair, his legs splayed out and around her chair.
"Your hair is bothering you. I'm going to braid it for you."
Her heart stuttered. She had so much hair it was difficult to keep her arms up when she was working with it so often she just clipped it back or wore it in a ponytail.
"Lean back, baby."
There it was again, his low, commanding tone. He used it often. Now that she thought about it, Ridley had used it as well.
"You don't have to braid my hair, Eli. There's a lot of it."
"I'm familiar with your hair, Cat. When a man is crazy about his woman's hair, he is aware of just about every strand on her head. I'm crazy about your hair. I love the way it looks when you're first waking up. I love the way it feels on my body when you've got my cock in your mouth. I love the way it falls down your back like a fucking waterfall with so much shine sometimes I think it's going to blind me."
Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip. What could she say to that? Absolutely nothing. That was the kind of thing she wanted to hold to her and take out occasionally in secret and listen to all over again. Eli gave her compliments just like Ridley, only maybe better.
She leaned her head back. The brush went through her hair, a long smooth stroke. It felt wonderful on her scalp. He took his time brushing her hair, seeming to enjoy it. The brush pulling through her hair was almost hypnotic. She closed her eyes for a few minutes and just let herself enjoy it.
Peace stole over her. The view was incredible, and for the first time in her life she felt as if she was home. Catarina didn't try to analyze why, she just allowed herself to enjoy the moment. She drank coffee and ate one of the beignets. They weren't quite as good cool as they were fresh and hot, but it was sugar and that went great with the strong coffee. It was perfect.
"Do you let your leopard run free very often?"
He divided her hair into thirds. "I try to every day, but when I'm on a job, sometimes that's not always possible."
"Are you gone a lot, working?"
He tugged gently. "If you're asking me will I be away from my mate now that I've found her, the answer is no. I don't need to work. I inherited a lot of money. It was in a trust and I couldn't touch the bulk of it until I turned thirty-one. I work because I wanted to. Now I don't. I'll be handing in my resignation."
She tried to turn her head but his hands in her hair prevented her from doing that. "Eli. You can't do that. You love your job, and I still feel very confused." Her lashes swept down. "I don't know if I can ever trust you again. It was hard enough the first time. I'm still asking myself if you're seducing me in order to get me to do what you want."
"Of course I am. I want you to stay with me. I know you're not going to testify against Cordeau. But you're mine, Cat, and I'm not giving you up. It's natural for you to be afraid, and I'll have to work at earning your trust back, but I will."
"You lied to me."
"Only about my name. The man who was with you in the warehouse was all me. Maybe not so bossy or crude like I can be, but he was me. I gave you me."
"Where were you that day? You always came to walk me home, but you didn't that day. It was Tuttle, not you."
"He's a moron. He doesn't do undercover work and he sure as hell can't tail someone without them spotting it. I'd heard they were going to move on you and I wanted to stop them. I spent the day arguing. During the meeting I got wind that maybe someone had tipped Cordeau and I needed to run that down. If it was true, I planned to lay the entire thing out for you myself."
Catarina swallowed hard. "Eli, I don't want you to change your life on the chance that I might want to stay. I don't know if I can get that trust back. I don't even know what's going on here between us. Is this just until my leopard emerges? Is this supposed to be a lifetime deal and I've got no say in it? I can't tell you I'll stay."
"You'll stay. Shifters mate for life, Cat. You'll stay."
She winced, afraid he was right. If her leopard only had two choices, Eli or Rafe, and she didn't even know if Rafe would take her back or kill her, she knew she would rather be with Eli. He might never love her, or she him, but he cared enough to take care of her after they had wild, crazy sex. She blushed again just thinking about it.
"You sore?"