She blushed again. "Seriously, Eli, the way you talk to me is so crude sometimes."
He kept his eyes on her face. "That bother you, baby? The way I talk?"
She opened her mouth to say something quickly, a fast answer, but then she stopped herself and shook her head. "Not really."
"Growing up the way you did, I figured maybe the way I talk wouldn't bother you so much. I go undercover for months at a time, Cat. The places I go, the people I rub shoulders with, they aren't the kind that talk polite. I talk this way because if I don't think this way, I'm a dead man."
"I understand. It doesn't bother me. I just never thought in terms of a man looking at me and needing to go into a restroom for . . . um . . . relief."
"It's the truth. You wouldn't have lasted another two weeks without drama. I was going to have to kick some ass, and it wouldn't have been pretty."
"You would have kicked ass for me?"
"Baby, I would kill for you. Man touches you, he isn't going to live long. Not then and not now."
"Don't say that, Eli. He said that. I don't want you to say that ever again."
"I know, Cat, I know he said it, but I mean it in a different way. I mean any man who tries to harm you."
She let her breath out slowly, clearly not wanting to continue the subject. "Why has my leopard gone so quiet all of a sudden? Could I have missed her emerging window? I didn't want her to appear. Maybe I repressed her with all my doubts."
"I don't know if that's actually possible, Cat," he admitted. He hadn't thought of that. "I figured she was resting up for the big event."
He finished what was left on his plate because no way was he going to leave one bite of food that Catarina had cooked for him. He leaned back in his chair and reached for a beignet to go with his coffee.
"I hope so. Now that I've seen your leopard and it didn't eat me or anything, I kind of like the idea of her."
"She'll be tough to handle at first, but you're strong and you've got courage. You'll do fine with her."
She looked up at him from under her long lashes. "Do you know how many times you've said nice things to me, Eli?"
"Someone should have been saying nice things to you your entire life, Kitten. You shouldn't have had a junkie for a mother, or Rafe for a guardian. You should have grown up in a house filled with love. I can't do a thing about your past, but I can make damn certain you feel loved in your future. And when we have kids, we'll be saying nice things to them a hundred times a day."
Her gaze clung to his. Again he saw hope there--and fear mixed up with it, like she was still afraid to believe, but willing to try. "I'll get the dishes. You get dressed to work out. Have you climbed before?"
"Climbed in what way?"
"Up a mountain. A boulder. A climbing wall. Anything at all."
"They don't have mountains where I come from, and Rafe would never have allowed me inside of a place where there was a climbing wall. I had men following me around all the time."
"How did you get away from him this last time?"
"He had sensors on the windows and doors. He forgot the floor. I was careful, so there was no evidence I was pulling up the floorboards so I had a space big enough to drop down into. He didn't put cameras in the bathrooms or the bedrooms, other than mine. I just had to take my time. I figured out how to beat the combination of his safe so I'd have running money. I learned to read by watching children's shows. He'd hear them on and it would only reinforce his belief that I wasn't too bright."
"Cordeau didn't want you to be educated?" He was beginning to detest the man. He felt the leopard rise close to the surface in direct response to his rising temper. He knew his eyes glittered because he could see heat waves banding across his vision. Cordeau wanted a teenage girl so trapped and so alone she had no friends and nowhere to turn. He also ensured she would feel bad about herself, inferior to him.
She licked her lips, drawing his instant attention. "No, I asked once if I could have a tutor and he got mad at me. Not just mad, but scary mad. You're the only other person that can do that."
She was plucking at the silverware on the table and he reached out to lay his hand over hers, stilling those restless fingers. "What do you mean, 'scary mad'?"
"When you're angry, Eli, you can walk into the room and I feel it, the sudden onslaught of frightening, intense, very powerful heat. The energy is so strong, I sometimes think you could knock someone over with it."
He knew what she was talking about and he couldn't deny it. He could shut down a room full of macho men with his anger. It wasn't that difficult to feel the presence of his cat, a moody, brooding, vicious, bad-tempered animal that could tear a man apart in seconds.
"I know, baby," he admitted softly. "I can get like that. I can be mean. I got a temper. For you, I'll try to keep it in check, but if I get ugly, you have the right to say so. Just don't walk out on me. If I say something that hurts, let me know. Don't hold it inside. You have to learn to live with me and I'm not saying that's going to be easy. I told you, I like things my way, and I'm not taking any chances with your safety. I'm guessing we're going to butt heads a few times."
"When you say I'm your woman, Eli, what does that mean, exactly? For me. What do you expect and what can I expect?"
His thumb slid over the inside of her wrist, checking her pulse. Her heart beat just a little too fast. She was scared, but she was determined.
"When I say you're mine, it means you're my mate in shifter terms. My wife in human terms. We build a life together. That's what we're going to do. I'll have your back and you'll have mine."
"So a partnership."
He saw instantly where this conversation was going. He had to be honest with her about who he was. He wasn't going to change, not with his leopard so dominant. Not with so many years of being the man he'd become. He liked the way he was. It was important for her to know the truth of him, even if it was a little risky so early in their relationship.
"Yes and no, baby. I told you, I like my way. My rules, my way. That's just how it is. I'll make certain you're happy. Just like the way I talk sometimes. You don't always like it, but you're okay with it. I think you're in danger, you will do exactly what I tell you when I tell you. It's that simple."
"I see. So really a dictatorship."
He shrugged. "I don't give a damn how you want to label it, Kitten. The bottom line is we'll work it out. You don't like something, you tell me. We'll work it out."
"Will we, Eli? Will you listen to me?"
He heard the slight tremor in her voice. She was being very brave, trying to get a sense of her future with him. He didn't want to lie to her and paint a pretty picture. He wasn't going to be easy to live with, but he'd been with her enough to know she fit with him. She didn't know it yet, but he knew it. He felt it.
He brought her hand to his mouth and slowly pried open her fingers. Pressing his mouth to the center of her palm he looked into her brilliant blue eyes. She was really trying for him and he appreciated it. His heart turned over, like it often did when she looked so fragile.
She had grown up in a terrible household and she knew the criminal world, but in many ways she'd been sheltered. Cordeau hadn't wanted her to know too much about anything in the world so that when her leopard emerged, she would be totally reliant on him for anything, including information she would need.
Had Cordeau planned to shape her into the kind of mate he needed for his killer leopard? Would he have tried to force her to hunt humans with him? If she had done so even once, thinking all shifters did, the shame and guilt would have tied her to Cordeau for eternity.
"I'll listen to you, Catarina, I promise. I'm going to make certain you're happy here. I've noticed you don't need much to make you happy. Laughter, music, great coffee and a kitchen. And boots. I have to get you killer, sexy boots." He was rewarded for remembering by her quick smile and he vowed to get right on finding boots for her.
She took a breath, studying his face, her eyes searching his. He
knew she was looking for hope. "Do you really think we have a chance to live a life here, Eli?"
"For a while. We've got time. He can't trace us here. The ranch can't be traced to me. Even the DEA doesn't know about it. Cordeau's got eyes and ears, but we're gone. My neighbor will close ranks with us, and once your leopard emerges we'll be able to figure out our next move."
"You said we'd visit the neighbor after my leopard emerges. Why not before?"
He leveled a gaze at her. "Baby. Really? And when she suddenly comes close to the surface and you need me riding you hard, we going to do it on the neighbor's kitchen floor?"
She blushed again and gently removed her hand from his to push at her long hair. "I see. I hadn't thought of that. I guess I thought I'd gain control."
"There is no controlling a mating heat, Cat, no matter how much we both might want to. When she decides to show herself, you'll be on fire. I'll be on fire and both the cats will be. We just have to hang on to each other wherever we are and ride it out."
She tugged her lower lip between her teeth. "How much longer?"
"I don't know. No one ever knows. The male shifter is aware of his leopard almost from birth, but the female knows absolutely nothing until the human cycle lines up with the leopard's cycle."