"Baby"--he cupped her face with his hand, his thumb sliding over her skin--"don't look so sad. I swear to you, I would never harm you or allow anyone else to. You're mine. You gave yourself to me. You told me you loved me. I gave myself to you. All of me. Please have an open mind. Please."
She stared into his eyes and wanted desperately to believe him. That face. That voice. Those eyes. If his eyes were windows to his soul, right now his soul was shattered.
"The Bogomolovs know where you are through an accident. An accident. I didn't tell them. I wouldn't have wanted them to know, because I intend to kill them. Knowing you're alive gives them a slight advantage because they'll find out fast enough I have something to lose."
She slipped away from him because the temptation to let herself get lost in sex was fairly high. She had to make sense of everything. Pulling a T-shirt over her head, she shimmied into a pair of jeans while he did the same. He held out his hand to her. She hesitated a heartbeat. Two. It was impossible to not take his hand, not when his blue-green eyes were so compelling. He closed his fingers around hers and led her out of the room, downstairs to the great room.
"Do you want a fire?"
She shook her head and sank into the wide-armed leather chair facing the seat he preferred. He took it and leaned forward. "You know that no matter how many times the head of the snake is chopped off, another crime lord rises and takes his place. There is no way to stop that. There will always be criminals, people who want to take from others. There will always be gunrunning and illegal activity of some kind."
She nodded, pressing her hand to her churning stomach. She detested this. Detested that he was going to make excuses for what he'd become.
His gaze dropped to her hand and then came back up to her face. "There are bosses like Bogomolov who are extremely violent. They are always greedy, hungry for more power and more territory. The Bogomolov family are Amur leopards from Russia. The man known as Alonzo Massi is actually from Russia and was a part of the bratya there. He is also leopard. There are a few leopard lairs in the bratya. They are the cruelest of crime lords."
She knew Nikita was cruel. She had seen his orders carried out when men had come to kill her father.
"In their lairs, they refuse to find their true mate. They take a woman capable of giving them a leopard and when she does, they kill her as a sign of loyalty to the bratya."
"Nikita's wife?"
He nodded. "He murdered her. He's looking for Alonzo. He's looking for you. He doesn't get either of you."
She touched the tip of her tongue to her lips, trying to moisten them. "What about you, Joshua, do you think because you aren't killing me that it makes you better than him? You're still committing crimes."
He nodded. "I know I am. I'm not denying that. It's necessary to keep up the illusion of being in this business. I can only shut down the worst of the criminals. I do it quietly and slowly from the inside, so it isn't really noticed. I have an explanation ready if any of the other bosses question me. What we're really doing is looking to take down the worst of the bosses. Men like Nikita. If the crimes are kept to the underbelly and the killing stays there, we let it go. If it leaks out and a man like Nikita goes on a killing spree, we take him down and replace him with one of our own. Just telling you this can get a lot of good men killed."
She frowned, trying to process what he was saying. "An undercover agent?" She wasn't certain she could believe that, although Drake Donovan's agency had sent him in more than once undercover if his stories could be believed.
He shook his head. "No, taking down a crime lord that way leaves the territory open for an even worse boss. We prefer to make the rules as best we can and keep the worst out."
"I still don't understand. Are you saying that you and some others are taking over territories mafia have and trying to weed out the 'bad' ones?"
He smiled at her and leaned back in his chair, resting his head against the leather, his eyes on her face. "Put like that, it sounds silly, but the reality works. We have someone taking apart the companies for laundering. He does it legitimately, although we find the companies in a not-so-legitimate way; usually we hack them. We disrupt the pipelines for drugs and gunrunning. We shut down human trafficking wherever we find it, and that is a moneymaker, so everyone wants in. We create pipelines through other territories and that makes it easier to monitor them."
"Essentially, you're working both sides of the fence."
He nodded. "Exactly. We have to appear, at all times, as if we are the head of a territory to the other bosses. We work with them, get to know them, and learn what we can safely take apart by disrupting shipments and hitting them in their businesses and books. We can weaken territories. The most difficult thing we do, and the most dangerous, is take down men like Nikita."
"The cops think you're dirty."
"We are dirty."
"But if the other members of the syndicate realized what you were doing, they'd kill you."
He nodded slowly. "Without a doubt. I won't lie about that." He kept his gaze glued to hers.
She felt the intensity of that stare right to her core. Every word sounded like the absolute truth, but who would be that crazy? Both sides, criminal and law, would hunt Joshua.
"It's a risk, baby, but something has to be done. Human trafficking has gone through the roof. The violence is escalating. Someone has to find a way to stop it. In any case, there will always be those rising to power. Power corrupts. Greed, violence, drugs, alcohol, all of it feeds into a pool of criminals. We fill any void and control the borders, so to speak, keeping the criminals as much in their own world and away from civilians as we can."
"You have a white knight syndrome so far to the right it's scary. Don't you see how truly insane what you're trying to do really is? You can't control what others choose to do. You just can't."
"The answer is to ignore it? Do you have any idea what is done to those women and children? We've stopped them, over and over. We haven't saved them all, maybe we haven't even slowed it down, but we've stopped some of them. That counts. It counts for the ones we got back. We've kept guns from going to terrorist cells over and over. That counts as well. We've weakened territories, we've messed with books. We've turned over evidence to the FBI and found dirty cops and turned over evidence on them."
"They'll kill you if they find out it's you."
He shrugged. "I had no idea you existed, Sonia. I searched for you and couldn't find you. My family is truly fucked up and I wanted little to do with them, other than my cousin Evangeline. Ironically, she wanted little to do with me."
"Does she know the truth about you?"
"She knows the truth about her husband, and that means she knows the truth about me. Before all this, neither of us wanted anything to do with the Tregres. You talk about vile, ugly people, that would be my family. Other than my mother. She was the best."
She sent him a tentative smile. "I'm glad. I wish I'd had the chance to meet her."
"I do too, although she would never have approved of what I'm doing, and she'd most likely have told you to run for the hills."
"I tried that. It didn't work."
"You have a nasty little temper. You kicked Shadow. He's still sulking."
She shrugged. "He deserved it. And more. He can just not touch Gatita like that ever again."
"Leopards are rough, baby," he said softly.
"Maybe, but he was angry with her."
"She didn't believe him. You didn't believe me. God, Sonia, it hurt like hell seeing you so afraid of me. I couldn't take it. I never want you to look at me like that again." He leaned toward her. "Do you believe what I'm saying to you? Because if you don't, if you want evidence, I'll get it for you. I'll do whatever it takes so you know, with me, you'll always be safe. Tell me what to do to give you that. I don't want you to have one small doubt in your mind. Tell me how to do that."
She stared at him. The things he'd said to her were scary dangerous and so like him. The white knig
ht. Atonement for his perceived sins. There was no saving him from himself. He was many things, but he wasn't a liar. He wasn't a betrayer. Joshua's loyalty ran deep. His sense of duty. He wasn't lying to her. He loved her. She chose to believe him because every cell in her body, every instinct she had, said he was telling her the truth and he loved her.
She had to believe. She had to push aside the hurt and fears from her past and look at the man sitting across from her. She could read him, that face, so familiar to her now. She had no idea if she was strong enough to stay with him and face what he had to do every single day. She had no idea if she would have the strength to walk away when she knew he was doing things that were very wrong.
"I believe you. I don't know exactly what to do with it, but I believe you."
He went still, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. For a moment, she thought she caught the shimmer of tears in his eyes, and that completely undid her. He lifted his head and his eyes suddenly glittered at her, going a deep crystalline blue that always took her breath.
He wasn't going to give in to the emotion because it was too overwhelming. She waited, holding her breath, ready to follow his lead to get them out of this moment neither could handle. She knew it would be sex, because sex was his go-to when he needed to be close to her. Right now, she needed to be very close to him, without talking. She didn't know what she would do or say if he asked her the wrong question before she processed everything completely.
"Since we're covering everything, I'm not down with you shifting in front of my men. At. All. You were stark naked. I promised myself I would put you over my knee for that."
A little shiver went down her spine, but she lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes at him.
"In today's society, adults have evolved, and they don't hit their children or their women." She said it in her snippiest tone and gave him her haughtiest look.
"I'm leopard and our society hasn't evolved that far, so you're in very real danger."
"Well, don't even think about doing something like that. I'd retaliate."
His eyes went pure crystalline. That sea of blue made her breath catch in her throat. A slow smile spread across his face, softening the harsh lines. "How would you retaliate, baby?" His voice had dropped low. Intimate. Insinuating all sorts of carnal things.
Her body went liquid, her breasts instantly ached, nipples peaking beneath the thin material of her tee. "Something you won't like," she threatened, having no idea what that would be, but she loved their game.
"Tell me, baby. I can't wait to learn what my punishment would be."
She lifted her chin. "No sex. At. All."
His smile turned into a smirk. "But I would be free to try to seduce you."
Sonia hastily shook her head. "No, you wouldn't. Absolutely not."
"That's the rule, and I'm up for the challenge. I'm going to strip you naked, right here, right now, and spank your beautiful ass until my handprints are all over it. Then you deny me sex, and I'll do my best to persuade you otherwise."
She squirmed, rubbing her thighs together as heat spread through her veins. Her sex spasmed. Clenched. Her clit pounded with hot blood and anticipation. "Don't you dare." That came out breathless. An invitation more than a demand.
He smiled like the predator he was. Just as he stood, his cell phone buzzed. He glanced down and frowned.
"Your friend Molly just got out of an SUV with tinted windows and is running up to the front door. Evan says she's crying."
15
SONIA jumped to her feet and started for the door. Joshua caught her arm. "Before you get caught up in the drama with your friend, I need to know we're good. You and me. You're with me."
"Is that a question?"
"Yes, and it requires an answer."
She nodded. She had to believe in someone. She had to trust at least one person. If he'd lied to her and ended up turning her over to Nikita, at least she could die knowing she tried.
"You'll stay with me?"
That was much more complicated. Would she stay with him? The girlfriend of a mobster? She didn't know that answer. "I have to think about that."
Every bit of softness faded from his face, leaving his features scary stony, ice-cold and more than a little dangerous. She was looking at a mixture of the leopard and the mobster, not her Joshua. "Think fast, Sonia. You're fuckin' mine and you know it. You need me every bit as much as I need you."
"Thanks, Joshua," she said sarcastically, pulling out of his grip. Molly was already knocking on the door. "I love how very romantic you are."
"I don't know the first thing about romance, baby," he said, his voice like steel. His eyes like a glacier. "But I know when my woman is full of bullshit. You're fuckin' mine. Say it."
She glared at him and yanked open the door. Molly fell into her arms sobbing. He reached around the two women to catch the door and peer out. The gray fog obscured the view of the drive and the waiting SUV. They hadn't turned on any lights, not outside and not inside. He closed the door as Sonia took Molly to the chairs by the fireplace.
"Molly, do you need me for anything, or is this a girl talk?" he asked.
Molly glanced up, her eyes bright with tears, her lashes wet. She tried a watery smile, shook her head and waved him away.
"I'll be in the other room if you need me," he said, giving them privacy. If Bastien had broken up with her or upset her in any way, Sonia would want to have words with him. The less attention they received from law enforcement, the better.
Sonia waited until he was out of the room. "Tell me what happened. Did you get into a fight with Bastien?"
Molly shook her head. "It's worse," she whispered. "So much worse. I don't know how to tell you this. I love you. You're my first real friend, and you've been so good to me."
"Just say it, Molly. We'll work it out."
"A man came to the house. Several men, actually. They have Bastien held somewhere. They hit him, and I saw him go down. He told me to run."
She leapt up. Molly caught her arm, shaking her head. "Don't get Joshua. They said if I told anyone but you, they'd kill him." She waited until Sonia reluctantly subsided. "I did run, but they caught up with me."
"Did they hurt you?"
Molly shook her head. "No, but they scared me. They said if you didn't go out and get into the SUV alone, they would kill Bastien and throw his body in the swamp."
"Describe them," she said, but she knew. Her heart sank and she felt sweat trickle between her breasts.
"They had accents. Russian, I think. Is it your husband?"
Sonia nodded. "I think so. I think he found me. I can talk to him, try to get Bastien back." Nikita had probably already killed him, but she wasn't going to tell Molly that. "I'm going, but you have to tell Joshua. You have to. Give me a five-minute start. I may be able to tell you where to find Bastien if I get it out of the driver. If I do, I'll text you the location." She knew the first thing they'd do was take her phone.
Molly threw her arms around her and nearly crushed her. "I don't want you to go. I thought maybe we could think of some other way," she whispered in her ear.
"You know there isn't, not with these men. Honey, you have to tell Joshua. He's going to be angry, but you have to tell him no matter how scared you are. Promise me. He's my only chance to live. If Nikita doesn't shoot me the second I'm in the SUV, and that's always a possibility, then Joshua will have time to rescue me." Because if he didn't shoot her, that meant he was going to torture her.
"You're taller than I am, so we'll have to do this fast. We'll go outside on the front porch, but leave the door open, so Joshua and his guards think I'm going back inside. We'll talk for a few minutes, which will settle the guards down, both of us sitting in the chairs. Then I'll get up and walk to the SUV. You remain seated so it won't call attention to the disparity in our heights. I'll get in, we'll drive off. You stay seated as long as possible and then go into the house and straight to Joshua. You understand?"
Molly nod
ded. Hiccupped. Nodded some more. "I don't like this. Shouldn't we tell him now? They can follow the SUV right away."
"He'd never allow me to get into the vehicle, and then there would be no chance of getting Bastien back." They would kill Molly, Joshua and everyone else. Sonia wanted them away from the house.
"If I wait five minutes, how will they be able to track the car?"
She knew Joshua's men were out there, probably in leopard form. Leopards could smell the SUV and track it anywhere. That was her one chance, and she knew Joshua would come for her. She knew, no matter what, he would come for her.
She took a deep breath and put her arm around Molly. Raising her voice, she shouted to Joshua, "We're going to sit on the front porch for a few minutes."
He stood in the archway between the great room and the dining room. "Everything okay?"
"Just girl stuff," she said. "You know how ridiculous men can get."
He frowned at her, opened his mouth to say something, but she gave a quick shake of her head, as if she didn't want him to protest what she said in front of a weeping Molly. He nodded and stepped back into the other room. She breathed a sigh of relief and walked Molly out onto the porch, making certain not to turn on lights. She pointed to a chair and then sat beside her.
"It's going to be all right, Molly. Tell me about you and Bastien. What's he like?"
"He's so good to me. He spoiled me rotten and was so careful with me. No sex yet, just kissing, but I could tell he wanted sex. I wanted it too. He says he wants me very comfortable. He's asked Jerry to get the holes in the house plugged and doesn't want me to go home until that's done." She hiccupped often and twice muffled a sob by pressing her palm to her trembling mouth.
"It's going to be all right, Molly," she reiterated. "Just please sit here for five minutes and then go straight to Joshua and tell him what happened and to follow the SUV."
Molly shook her head, catching her arm. "Are you certain they won't hurt you?"
Molly wasn't leopard. She couldn't hear lies, and she wanted to believe whatever Sonia told her. Sonia forced a smile. "They aren't going to hurt me."
"You said they tried to kill you."
She nodded. "But now I have a bargaining chip. Let me do this. Bastien is an innocent man in all this. He doesn't deserve to die. I have a chance. He doesn't. I need your cell and passcode."