Evangeline pressed her fingers to her eyes and shook her head, still rocking, trying to work out what she should do. If she stayed, she'd never get away from Alonzo. He'd made that clear, and she was too weak around him. Wanting him. Feeling for him. He hadn't just aroused her physically; what she felt was emotional as well. He was tying her to him in so many ways.
"We have to go, Bebe," she said reluctantly. "We have to walk away from all of this if we're going to survive. He'll eat us alive. I know he will."
Her leopard stretched and rubbed, still giving her comfort. Letting her know she wasn't alone. They were together. She would never be alone. Her leopard had given her that at an early age. Because Evangeline had had her all of her life, she hadn't realized what a rarity it was for a female leopard to reveal herself. No one ever knew whether or not a woman had her female until the time when she began to rise--when the cycle of the female leopard and her female human counterpart coincided. Evangeline's leopard had risen to provide her with comfort and security--with companionship and a fierce loyalty, that same fierce loyalty Evangeline felt for her leopard.
"We're a team," she whispered as she crushed the lace-trimmed sheet to her breasts. "I want him. I want to make certain someone loves him and watches out for him because he's never had that and he can be, with me, with us, so oddly gentle. But, Bebe, he will eat us alive. You know that, right? He'd take over our lives and I wouldn't be happy. Neither would you."
Evangeline didn't let too many people in. She didn't want or allow them close to her. Alonzo had crept inside when she wasn't really paying attention. All those months of him coming in and being so quiet. She liked quiet. She'd grown up in silence, listening to the breath of the swamp, and that was her safe place--silence. Away from people.
Confused and annoyed with herself, she hopped out of bed. Evangeline rarely used lights at night and she didn't now. Pacing, she thought about her options. If she stayed, she knew Alonzo Massi wouldn't go away. He'd made that very clear. "I wish you'd weigh in on this," she snapped, annoyed with her leopard.
She immediately got the impression of languid amusement. We can handle them. Man and leopard. No problem.
Evangeline clenched her teeth. "You just want that male."
The female moved restlessly for a moment and Evangeline instantly felt hunger rise. It was sharp and terrible, a burning need that subsided almost immediately but for that moment was intense and impossible to ignore. Evangeline went very still as fire raged through her. She swore softly in Cajun and then abruptly ripped a small bag from her closet.
"You freakin' hussy. You're goin' into heat, aren't you? Oh. My. God. I'm savin' us both. We'll go back to the swamp. Even if he tries to track us, no one is as good as we are there. I just have to hide you until it's over. You should have told me."
She threw jeans and shirts and underwear into the bag as fast as she could. She wouldn't need much else there. Hastily braiding her hair, she glared at herself in the mirror. "Don' tell me you didn' know, Bebe, because that's why you rose and accepted his claim. You were feelin' all amorous and you were willin' to throw me to that wolf just for sex."
Her cat was unrepentant. Even amused. You want the man.
She did. She so did, but that wasn't the point. "That male leopard is dangerous. You heard Alonzo or Fyodor or whoever he is. His cat wants to kill the women he sleeps with."
Not you. Again there was that impression of stretching. Unsheathing claws. I would protect you.
"He's a dangerous fighter. He's been fighting for years. He's experienced." Panic welled up, and for a moment she was that child in the swamp, listening to the alligators bellow and knowing the huge male leopard prowled outside, looking for her, wanting to kill her.
Evangeline drew in great gulps of air, trying to get her lungs to work properly again. She couldn't think when she was panicked, she'd learned that early on as well. Alonzo could tie her to him in so many ways, but the worst would be sexually. She didn't want a man to be with her because she was leopard. Or because they had great sex. This was her worst nightmare. The very worst. A lair. A dangerous, killing leopard. Her female in heat causing her to be. She wouldn't be able to use her brain. Her body would be on fire and so hungry for him she wouldn't be able to think.
She swore even more as she snatched up her car keys and slipped out her back door. No way was she going to get caught up in Alonzo's world. She would be so vulnerable if her female went into heat. She would never be able to fight him or even stand up to him. He'd walk all over her. She'd be back in a world of deceit and violence. No. No. No. Not happening. She'd always decided her own fate. She wasn't about to let leopards or sex or the most gorgeous, irresistible man who needed her dictate her life.
She knew she was in a state of panic. The idea of her body betraying her. Her leopard betraying her. It was frightening. Terrifying. She was a woman always in control and if she was out of it . . . A small sob escaped. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't.
She backed the car out of the driveway without turning on lights. She didn't need them and wouldn't turn them on until she was in a high-traffic area. Her little tree-shaded road led to a cul-de-sac, so there were few cars. She'd chosen her house carefully for that reason. Few neighbors. Trees. The yard she had. The kitchen in her house. Damn Alonzo Massi for walking through the door of her bakery.
For a moment the windshield blurred and she nearly turned on her wipers before she realized the problem was her eyes and she dashed at the watery tears. She was angry that she had to leave, not upset for leaving Alonzo. She wasn't going to think about that six-year-old boy or what he had had to do to protect his brother and cousin. No wonder they were so loyal to him.
But to wipe out an entire lair. The entire thing. All those leopards. Fighting machines. Killing machines. What did that say about Alonzo or his leopard? To do that, he had to be insanely fast and ferocious. She stopped at the stop sign at the entrance to her street. Without warning, two large town cars converged on her, blocking her from moving forward. Another car fell in behind her. Dark. No lights. She knew exactly who that was.
Seriously, she was the most conflicted female on the planet. Every cell in her body told her to run, that she was in danger. Her head told her that. But her heart wavered. Stuttered a little. She sat quietly waiting, her breath in her throat rather than in her lungs.
Alonzo slid out of the backseat of the town car behind her and stalked to her car. He yanked open the door, his face an expressionless mask, his eyes all cat. Fierce. She'd aroused anger in both this time, leopard and man. She couldn't blame the leopard. He had claimed his mate. He'd waited a long time for her. Maybe it was the same for Alonzo. He'd said he'd had to stop having sex.
"Move over."
She did without a word, her heart hammering like mad. Loudly. So loudly she knew he heard. His eyes on her face, he moved the seat back so he could slide behind the wheel.
He gave some kind of signal through the window and all three town cars drove away, leaving them alone. Alonzo's presence took up the entire car. It wasn't just because he was a big man with all that muscle rippling beneath skin; it was him. He was truly larger than life. He poured into the air, taking it over. Tension rose and she found herself trembling, looking down at her hands, unable to think beyond the fact that she would be at the mercy of this man and the two leopards very soon.
"Evangeline."
Just her name. The way he said it was a command. She knew what he wanted, but it took her a few moments to find enough composure to lift her chin and give him her gaze.
Alonzo's glacier-blue eyes studied her for a long time. The cat was there, pinpoints of fury blazing with blue flame behind the frozen ice. "What's wrong, Evangeline? This isn't just a run so I'll give chase. You're scared out of your mind."
She touched the tip of her tongue to her lip. Her breath refused to come from her lungs, remaining stuck in her throat. She looked up at him with absolute despair. "She's risin'. My female. Tonight she . .
." She trailed off, seeing the dawning comprehension in his eyes. She couldn't tell him anything but the truth and in this case, he would find out soon enough.
Just saying the words aloud made the situation all too real. She wanted to run as fast as she could back to her beloved swamp and hide like that little child from the big bad leopard on the prowl to consume her. She hadn't realized her hand had dropped to the door handle until Alonzo very gently reached across her body and placed his hand over hers.
"Take a breath, malyutka, a nice deep one. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We'll handle this."
When he leaned across her in the small confines of the car, his body pushed against hers. Her breasts were soft against his back, pressed deep, an intimate connection she was instantly aware of. She had the mad desire to circle his waist with her arms and just hold on to all that solid muscle. He was a rock when her world felt built on sand.
His voice mesmerized her. She was so susceptible to the deep, low tones. His voice appealed to her in a way nothing else ever had. He was so calm. So quiet. So like the swamp. Danger swirled around him, but he could be counted on. He smelled wild and dangerous, a feral predator in the civilized trappings of a very expensive suit.
She instantly wanted him. Instantly. Her entire body felt hot and needy. Her breasts ached and pushed hard against the solid rock of his back. Her breath refused to come other than in short, ragged pants. She felt her female close, trying to comfort her when she was so out of control, something completely foreign to Evangeline's nature.
"Breathe, devochka moya."
Evangeline did what he said, reaching for air, needing it. She drew him into her lungs, all that wild. All that danger. But she could breathe again. The panic was still there, but it receded enough that she could nod to him that she was all right. He lifted his hand from hers and took away the heat of his body as he straightened.
Evangeline shook her head. "I can't do this."
Alonzo didn't respond. He merely turned her car around and drove back to her house. She sat very still while he parked. It was impossible to judge his mood. She watched him catch her bag up with one hand and move around the hood of the car to come to the passenger side and open her door. She was fairly certain she was about to have a heart attack. The pounding hurt.
Alonzo reached into the car, shackled her wrist and pulled her out. It wasn't difficult for him to do. He was far stronger and when he wanted her to go with him, it didn't take much for him to get his way. She concentrated on her feet, walking beside him, admiring the fact that he moved in absolute silence.
"You didn't lock your door, Evangeline. You always have to remember to lock the door."
"I wasn't certain I'd be back." She didn't look at him as she admitted it. She hadn't known. She'd just run in a panic.
He closed and locked the door, stepped in front of her and took her hand. He was so gentle. His fingers closed around hers, but he didn't yank her or exert pressure of any kind. He walked and took her with him, but he was gentle about it. He went straight for the bedroom.
Her heart pounded harder than ever. She stopped when he did, right next to the bed. She could see her tank and boy shorts where she'd flung them. Neither turned on lights, but it wasn't necessary, not with both cats so close. He faced her, still retaining possession of her hand. Looking up at him was difficult. He looked invincible. An aura of danger surrounded him. Mystery. He was leopard, and there was a raw, erotic appeal to the roped muscles and sheer power he exuded.
His eyes, frozen ice, moved over her face. Seeing too much. Seeing everything there in the dark. He studied her face and she knew he saw the dark circles, the way her eyes looked like two dark bruises.
"You're wiped and you don't have the sense to know it."
She detested that he saw that in her. "I couldn't sleep," she defended. "The things you told me . . ." She trailed off, shaking her head, images of that little six-year-old boy so stark in her mind.
He sighed. "I should have taken into account how sensitive you are. Never should have told you."
"Don' say that." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I mean it, Fyodor. Don' you ever even think that. I'm not some plastic doll. I want to hear about your life. Yes, it's hard to hear, but you lived it, so I want to know everythin'." She stopped abruptly, one hand pressed to her mouth. She'd blurted out the truth. Told him too much. Told herself too much. She shouldn't want to know a single thing about him.
His expression hadn't changed in the least. She was a hot mess and he was--frozen. She was so tired she wanted to collapse into a little heap on the floor. What she didn't want to do was fall into bed with him. She was far too exhausted and upset to fight him. She'd lose control and have wild sex, and then she'd be tied to him in a way she'd never be able to get out of.
"Put your nightclothes on, malyutka, and get in bed."
She shook her head. "I'm not ready for this." Her body said otherwise, but her mind was in complete chaos. She just couldn't. She was already so lost, so conflicted about him, and giving in to her body's demands would humiliate her. That loss of control. She wanted the decision to be hers. She had to make the decision. Not her leopard. Not Alonzo. Her.
He caught her chin between his finger and thumb. "Did I sound as if I were asking?"
She jerked away. Her entire body was trembling and she couldn't make it stop. She hated feeling so vulnerable. "You're such a jerk."
"Because I want you in bed? You're frightened and that, at least, is something I can help you with. Now please do as I ask so I am not forced to terrify you before I make it all better."
He strode out of the room and she heard him moving around to the doors. She listened so hard she even heard when he turned the dead bolt. Locking them both in. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to come to terms with her emotions that were clearly all over the place. She stood for a long time contemplating whether or not to try to make an escape through a window--and she was fairly certain she wouldn't really get away with it. Mostly she didn't try that option because she was too darned tired.
He'd come back and take her clothes off. She knew enough of him now that she was certain he'd do that and he wouldn't say anything to her while he was stripping her. But he'd look and she'd get hotter than she already was. It just wasn't an option. Very slowly she stripped off her clothes and pulled on her boy shorts and tank.
Evangeline crawled onto the bed, wanting to just lie down, close her eyes and shut out her life for a while. Instead, she sat tailor-fashion in the middle of the bed, letting herself feel her absolute exhaustion. She'd gotten up at three and hadn't taken very many breaks. She'd only eaten when she'd fixed dinner for Alonzo, and then, not very much because she'd been so tired.
"In the bed."
"It's really annoying that you walk around and I can' hear you. Make some noise when you come into a room."
"Get. In. The. Bed." He bit the words out between clenched teeth.
She was grateful to know she was irritating him almost as much as he was her. She could hear the growl of warning from his leopard in his voice. They were both aggravated with her. Pleased, she made a face at him but obediently stretched out under the covers. "You're awfully bossy. Has anyone ever mentioned that to you?"
"Turn over, devochka moya. Lie on your stomach."
Evangeline had no idea why she obeyed him but she did, turning onto her front. Settling. She had full breasts. At the moment they felt achy and swollen, the tips burning. Lying on her stomach pressed her breasts into the cool sheets, immediately giving her some relief. Turning her head to the side, she peeked back at him over her shoulder. He was removing his trench coat. His jacket. Loosening his tie and then taking that off.
Alonzo was meticulous about folding his clothes. She imagined that had been beat into him as a child as well. He smoothed every line from his jacket with precise movements, and she could imagine him as a boy learning to be careful with everything he did. When he was satisfied his jacket and coat wou
ldn't wrinkle, he sat on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes. His back was to her as he bent to the task, leaving her free to admire the way his muscles played beneath the thin white of his very expensive shirt.
Again he placed his shoes and socks very carefully. Her heart fluttered and she had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from saying anything. She let her lashes drift down for a moment in order to get that sight out of her mind. It was silly, really, to superimpose that little child on this huge giant of a man. He might have been innocent and sweet at six, but his father and uncles had done their best to shape him into a killer.
He padded barefoot into her bathroom. Opening her eyes when she felt him leave the bed, she saw him through the open door crouching low and looking under her sink. She had everything organized.
"What are you lookin' for?" He'd better not be looking for evidence that she was on birth control.
"Oil. Massage oil if you have it, anything oil if you don't."
Her heart jumped. Stuttered. Stammered. Began to accelerate. She was so not ready for this. "Um, Fyodor."
"Where?" His voice was clipped.
"It's in the third bin."
He found it, shut the doors on the cupboard carefully and returned to the bedroom. "I'm going to push your tank out of the way. Don't freak out on me. I'm just going to give you a massage to help you sleep."
She wasn't certain she could handle his hands on her body without going up in flames, but it was better than him insisting they have sex. A little of the tension eased in her as he sat on the bed beside her. Close. Very close. She pulled him into her lungs with every breath she took. Her lips tingled and she wanted to touch them, remembering the feel of his mouth on hers. That brought the memory of his taste. So good. So wild. He was addicting. She knew for certain she wanted him to kiss her again and that was dangerous and perverse when she was telling him absolutely no to sex. All right, so it wasn't absolute.