"Nay," Joan admitted.
"Good." He relaxed and smiled. "Then we shall take our time and enjoy the journey."
Joan nodded and returned her attention to her food, but she knew he meant to enjoy the journey in more ways than one. She also knew she would enjoy it too, so didn't mind. In fact, she was rather pleased to know she had another week and a half of his company, or maybe even two weeks.
"Have ye thought on what ye plan to do once ye've delivered the message?" Cam asked suddenly and Joan glanced to him blankly.
After a pause, she shook her head slowly. "Nay. Return home to Grimsby I suppose."
"Grimsby, aye, ye said ye were from there," Cam murmured, his gaze on his food.
Joan didn't comment. She'd told him she had been born and raised in Grimsby during one of their earlier conversations.
"But ye've no family there, do ye?" he asked.
"Nay," she admitted. "Me mother was the only family I had."
He nodded, and then took a deep breath and said, "Ye're a talented healer. 'Tis a valuable skill. Mayhap ye should consider settling at Sinclair and working there."
Joan paused and lifted her head slowly to look at him, but he was peering at his food with a concentration that was completely unnecessary. Avoiding her gaze as he made the suggestion? Did that mean he wanted her to stay at Sinclair or not? Was he just making the offer because he felt bad for her? Or because he didn't want this . . . whatever this was, to end?
Joan didn't say anything to that. In truth, his suggestion had quite taken her by surprise. She hadn't expected it. Joan hadn't even considered that this relationship they had, whatever it was, might continue beyond this journey. And she wasn't sure that it was a good thing if it did. She had no desire to be his mistress, so there was no future for whatever they were sharing just now.
"I'll be right back," Cam said suddenly and she glanced up to see him getting up from the table. Joan nodded and watched as he walked over to the tavern owner. Her curiosity rose when he put his head close to the other man's to murmur in a voice she couldn't hear. Joan actually caught herself straining to hear what he was saying, but it was impossible from this distance. Forcing herself to relax, she turned her attention to finishing the last of her meal and was just swallowing the last bite when Cam returned.
"If ye're all done we should head out," he said gently.
Nodding, Joan stood and started toward the door, but stiffened and glanced nervously around when he put his hand on her back to direct her. The tavern owner was nowhere in sight, however. She relaxed slowly and allowed him to usher her out.
"Wait here. I'll fetch the horse," Cam murmured as they stepped outside.
Joan nodded, and watched him cross the courtyard to the stables at the side of the building. He was quick about it, seeming barely to enter when he was coming back out, leading his mount. He hadn't taken more than a couple steps though, when the tavern owner rushed up to him with a small sack in hand. Cam took the sack and turned to hook it to his saddle. He then reached into his saddlebag and retrieved something that he turned and gave the tavern owner. Judging by the man's beaming smile, she'd guess it was probably coins and wondered what Cam had bought as she watched him nod at the man, before mounting and continuing over to collect her.
Joan took the hand he offered, and settled herself on the saddle behind him when he pulled her up. She didn't ask why he'd placed her behind him. She already knew. The tavern owner was watching. She was supposed to be a boy; sleeping cuddled in his lap wasn't the usual spot a peasant boy would ride with a laird. So she simply settled herself in a comfortable position and slipped her arms around his waist.
They rode until late afternoon before Cam found a spot for them to make camp. Another clearing, but this time without even a river nearby let alone a waterfall. It would do though, she supposed as Cam helped her off his mount.
"I'll go hunt up some dinner," she announced as Cam dismounted.
"No need," he said at once, retrieving the three bags hooked to his saddle and setting them on the ground. "I bought some roasted mutton from the tavern keeper ere we left. We're set fer sup tonight."
So that's what he'd bought, Joan thought with a smile. It would be nice not to have to look for their dinner for a night. Besides, mutton beat rabbit any day. Bending, she picked up the smaller bag she'd seen the tavern owner give Cam and quickly opened it to look inside, wondering if the tavern keeper had included bread or anything else with the meal. The first thing she saw was a smaller sack on top of the food. Eyebrows rising, she pulled it out and opened it as well, then tipped the contents onto her hand.
"What--?" she began with confusion and then glanced up with surprise when Cam was suddenly there taking the item from her.
"Ye weren't supposed to see that," he said with what sounded like embarrassment as he tucked the item back in its little bag.
"Pig intestine?" she asked with amusement.
"Sheep intestine," Cam muttered and then sighed and said, "I ken 'tis a bit late, but I thought if we had no' already got ye with child, then I should don the intestine and prevent--"
He paused when Jo covered his mouth with her hand. For a moment she didn't speak. His thoughtfulness touched her. It showed at least some caring on his part. Although, to be fair to the man, he had been terribly solicitous of her nearly from the start.
"Thank you," she said finally, taking her hand from his mouth. "But there's no need for that. I have been chewing Devil's plague seeds every day since our first time together."
"Devil's plague?" he asked with confusion.
"Some call it bird's nest or wild carrot," Joan said, but he still looked blank. Apparently, no one he knew had used the seed before, or didn't tell him if they did. "It stops a man's seed from planting and bearing fruit."
"Oh," he murmured eyebrows rising. "Yer mother . . . ?"
"One of many things she taught me," Joan said quietly and then handed him the bag of food and slipped past him. "I'll gather wood for a fire."
"Wait," Cam said suddenly, catching her arm before she could move away. When she paused and turned to him in question, she found him frowning. "It is no' dangerous is it? I've heard o' women taking things for such a purpose and dying, poisoned from the--"
"Nay. 'Tis safe," she said reassuringly. "The women you've heard of probably took hemlock or some such thing, which will dislodge a babe but can kill the mother too. Devil's plague won't."
"Oh . . . good." He let his breath out on a sigh, and then held out the bag of food again and said, "Take a look and see what we have. I'll fetch the wood."
Joan automatically took the bag, but merely watched him walk away, wondering why the conversation had seemed to sober them both so much.
Fear had made Joan chew the seeds the day before. She hadn't thought of them until she'd been preparing to leave him to set out on her own.
In fact, she hadn't even considered the fact that what they'd done could leave her with child until that point. Her concerns had been more about what had happened and why. She'd begun to fret and worry that she was just a convenience to him. That any female he'd found himself with would have received his attentions. Despite his claims that he liked her, she didn't understand how he could want her with her face swollen and bruised.
Joan had forgotten that concern once he touched and kissed her, however. She couldn't seem to think of anything but the sensations he caused in her when he did that. It was only afterward, when she was awake and he was sleeping that she'd admitted that she just couldn't resist the man. One touch and she was lost. So it was better to travel alone and avoid the temptation he offered altogether. That was when other considerations had managed to surface in her mind . . . like the fact that she was now no longer untried. That hadn't bothered Joan so much. She never planned to marry anyway so hadn't worried about a future husband's upset at her lack of purity. But the possibility of being with child had occurred to her then as well, and that had worried her. Actually, it had scared her silly, and Joan had immediately dug through her bag of medicinals for the wild carrot seeds she knew were in there.
Fortunately, she had a lot of them, hopefully enough to last out the rest of the journey, because she was quite sure she'd need them.
Chapter 7
JOAN NESTLED CLOSER AGAINST CAM WITH A sleepy sigh and smiled when his hand immediately slid down her back, massaging her through the material of her tunic. The smile slipped away and she wrinkled her nose, though, when he pushed the plaid they were cocooned in down to their shoulders, exposing their heads and shoulders to the cool morning air.
" 'Tis chilly," she complained with a little shiver, trying to burrow closer.
"Aye. The nights are growing cooler. Summer is ending," he added, not sounding pleased.
Joan smiled at the complaint in his voice and shrugged as she said philosophically, "Everything comes to an end."
When Cam went still beneath her, she lifted her head to peer at him in question.
Cam stared back, his expression dismayed.
"What's wrong?" she asked.