The Lonely (The Lonely 1)

I feel hands grab me. I'm kicking and shouting. Lance is holding me back. He's laughing so hard he's shaking me. The boys are laughing. Except Brandon. He looks pissed. My eye is swelling. I'm still like a savage animal. I'm snarling and snapping like a rabid dog.

Lance is shaking me and pinning my arms. Brandon comes at me. He pulls back his arm. I see the fist coming at me and duck. My arms come free from Lance. I tackle Brandon to the ground and pin him there. The boys are cheering and laughing. My red spit comes out of my mouth guard. I lift my glove to my mouth, disgusted, "Oh my god, I'm shorrry." He is trying to shield himself from the spit I'm shooting everywhere. I scream and jump off, "I'm shorrry."

He flinches and scrambles to his feet.

Lance has taken a knee. Angelo and Eli are both watching. My eye hurts. I shake my hands at Lance, "I want out."

He laughs, harder. I'm trapped in the stupid gloves and bleeding and swelling and poor Brandon is far worse for wear.

Chapter Twenty

"If he hit you, you can tell me." I glance at her in the mirror and laugh. "For reals, it was a fourteen-year old little shit. I blame Eli, but it was a little boy."

Her arms are crossed. She pulls her phone out and texts, "I just don’t see why you didn’t leave."

I sigh, "Because they called me Tinkerbell and made fun of me. All the women there looked like dudes. I was the only girl with girlie arms. I had to try. What would you have done if they called you Tinkerbell?"

She laughs, "You know, you do look like Tinkerbell."

Horror is spread across my face in the mirror. She puts her hands up defensively and goes to her side of the room. I dust the huge bruise under my eye with my powder cover up, but nothing seems to be working. I sigh, "Sebastian is going to be meeting me here in like twenty-minutes and I look like a victim of domestic violence. He's gonna look like a monster."

She laughs, "Dude, no one is gonna think that."

I arch an eyebrow at her in the mirror.

"Okay they will, but screw them. Who cares. You're Million Dollar Baby."

I roll my eyes, "I was so Million Dollar Baby. It wasn’t even funny. I was a natural, let me tell you."

She laughs at the sarcasm dripping off each word. She gets up and applies makeup to my eye. She steps back and nods, "There. No one will even see it." She slumps back on her bed.

I inspect the job she has done and nod, "I was the worst boxer…ever…to grace the rings of that club. Or any." I hear a noise. I look around, "Do you hear that?"

"It's your phone." She doesn’t look up from playing with hers.

I frown, "I gave it back."

Her eyebrows raise but her tone is nonchalant, "Yeah, huge shocker he managed to sneak it back on you."

Standing up and crossing the room, I mutter. "Dick." I squeeze the pockets of my coat but nothing. Hearing it again, I glance at my Ugg and a sneer crosses my face. I tilt the boot back and the iPhone falls out into my hand.

"Sneaky sneakerton." I whisper and turn it over.

'I need to see you tonight'

I shake my head and text him back, 'No. I have a date with Sebastian.' My stomach twinges imagining what he'll do to me if I see him. How much further into the darkness he will pull me.

'Where are you going?'

I purse my lips and ask Shell, "Where are we going tonight?"

She doesn’t look up, "Liquor Store."

"That’s a bar?" Doesn’t sound like a bar.

She nods and keeps playing with her phone.

'Liquor Store…'

'No. They have a mechanical bull. Think about how classy that is.'

I roll my eyes and mock his right to call anything classy. I put the phone in my pocket. The warmth of it is a comfort. It vibrates more, he's calling. I ignore it. I pull on my coat and boots.

"You can't wear that." She glances up and points at the boots. I look down and shake my head, "It's freezing out there. I'm wearing boots."

She gets up and passes me a pair of ballet flats, "Wear these at least. With the boots, dude, they won't even let you in."

I snatch them and put them on. My feet are cold, in our warm room. She opens the door and grins at me. I am fighting an army of butterflies in my stomach. I don’t even want to face him but I know I need to. I need to face my fears more often.

Sebastian is mulling around the front of the building with a guy I've never met. I assume he's Vince.

When Sebastian's hazel eyes meet mine, I can see the hesitation in them. It doesn’t surprise me. I can't blame him at all.

He looks like he did the first date, casual. I like this look better. He's mellow and comfortable. It reminds me of Audrey Tatou and lazy kisses and ice cream.

Shell smirks, "Vince, Sebastian, and my BFF Em…er…Sarah." I laugh. Sebastian raises his eyebrows and watches me. He offers me a hand, looking at Shell, "We've introduced ourselves already."

Vince looks smug and Italian. I roll my eyes and take Sebastian's hand. Vince grabs her butt and kisses her neck. I scowl. I want to rip his hand away. My eyes dart nervously for the SUV.

"Can we get a ride, Sarah?" Shell asks sweetly.

I look at her horrified and shake my head, "No. Absolutely not." I get her loyalty to me, but I won't torture Stuart. Not even if he tortured me.

Sebastian points, "I drove over. I can get us there." I smile at him and ignore the constant vibration in my pocket.

We walk to the car and I feel lost in my abilities to have a conversation. The guilt is heavy and uncomfortable. I hate how close we are to Shell and Vince but I need to get it off my chest. I squeeze his arm, "I'm sorry. I'm an emotional tard."

He squeezes back, "It's all adjustments. Tiny adjustments. So what's the plan? I thought we were going to talk?"

"Shell wants to double date. New guy. She doesn't like going alone with new guys. I don’t like it when she does either."

He nods, "Yeah, god forbid you both end up kidnapped this year."

I try to see if there was any humor in his voice or if it was all bitterness. I shake it off and smile, "Anyway, I was thinking why not. Why not just do something normal? You're normal and I want to be normal and bars and dancing are normal."

He laughs, "You and the normal. You have got to get past that."

Vince interrupts us with an excited question, "Dude is this you?" He points at the small silver SUV looking car Sebastian is leading us to.

I see him in a new light when he grins and presses the unlock button. I glance at Shell, but she looks confused like I am. It's a car. Apparently it might not be just a car. Not the way Vince is laughing and nodding approvingly. "Wow. Awesome."

I'm lost. Maybe it's some kind of special car.

Sebastian opens the passenger door for me. The inside is leather and smells new. I frown, "You decided against the hybrid for this?"

He walks around and sits inside smirking as Vince leans forward, "This is the 2013 Porsche Cayenne. It's a hybrid. Dude, this is a sweet ride." It's like listening to people speak another language.

Sebastian shrugs, "It's awesome and badass, but it's good for the environment. It's not a Caymann. But I figured with the way winter is here and back in Maine, this was the better choice. Besides I can always buy a Caymann next year." He sounds like he's gloating a bit. It's weird seeing him be that way. He's always so humble and normal.

I smile, "You got the hybrid?" I like that.

He nods, "I wasn’t sure if you remembered that boring talk we had, but I did. I went out after I left and bought it."

I look ahead, "I remember. It's a nice car."

"Thanks." He looks in the rearview at Shell and Vince, "Where are we going?"

"Where do you want to go? You're twenty-one. We're not. We kind of wanted to go to Liquor Store."

His lip twitches, "Vince? You probably know better than I do. I don’t go out much."

Vince nods, "Yeah. Let's do Rain or Liquor Store."

Sebastian puts the car in drive and nods, "Liquor Store it is." He handles the snow and wind like a pro. The car is very nice. I can't help but get excited. He's normal and squeaky and responsible. Shell would call him Vanilla. I like Vanilla. You know what you're getting into with it. You can add anything to it. It doesn’t spank you and make you like it.

My phone vibrates and I fight the sick fact I like the control. I look back at Sebastian and know it'll never be a power struggle with him. It'll be a partnership.

When we get to the bar I see it's exactly like Eli said it would be. It's not seedy but it's also not classy. Sebastian looks around and drinks from his beer. I nudge him, "So are you horribly rich?"

He glances at me and takes another swig.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about all of this."

I feel my walls starting to build as my emotions lay the foundation bricks.

He shakes his head, "I'm not a student at the university. I never was."

The next layer of bricks is mortared and dry. My wall is going up fast. '

He grabs my hand, "No…stop. Don’t look at me like that. You assumed I was in school. I could tell you were…different, so I never corrected you. I didn’t want to scare you off." He says it in an ever so slightly patronizing tone.

I don’t like that. I remind myself it might be that I'm pissed and being jaded, like I do with Shell. I swallow the anger and let him finish.

"My company is doing work for the school. We are helping them design a new intranet. I own a company. My family lives in Maine. I'm a fisherman's son. Regular guy."

I scowl, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

I nod and think. "Why were you using the gym like a student?"

He blushes, "The dean told me I could use the facilities whenever I wanted."