Eternally North (Eternally North 1)

“Erm, yeah about that…”

“Oh… I see, this is a letdown call, isn’t it? You’re not coming for coffee?” he sounded absolutely deflated.

I felt so bad, if things hadn’t… escalated last night with Tudor, I’d have most definitely gone today. “Well, it’s just, last night I saw an… old… friend, and well, we have decided to try to see if we can be more than just platonic. I don’t think coffee today with you would be appropriate now, given this new development.” I winced once more. Tudor relaxed and feathered kisses along my skin.

Gage sighed. “Okay, damn…” He let out a single disappointed laugh. “I should have made the coffee date for earlier in the week, shouldn’t I? Or spoke to you back in September.”

“I’m sorry, Gage. If it’s any consolation, I was looking forward to it.”

I let out a sudden whoosh of breath as Tudor gripped me tightly, knocking the wind right out of me.

“Me too, Natasha, I’ve been excited all week, but I guess life doesn’t always give you what you want, eh?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me too. I guess I’ll just see you around.”

“‘Bye, Gage.”

“‘Bye, Natasha.”

I was about to hang up when Gage spoke again, “Natasha?” he shouted so I would hear him.

“Yeah?”

“If it doesn’t work out with your old friend, give me a call. My offer’s an open invitation for you.”

I was touched by the sentiment but the warm feeling was interrupted when Tudor growled again.

Seriously, who growls?

“I’ll keep that in mind. ‘Bye for now.” I rushed out.

I pressed ‘end’ on the call and sat in silence, upset that Gage was feeling so low.

Tudor jumped up suddenly and grasped my face in his hands, swooping in for a frantic kiss. “Do you think we will last?” he blurted out anxiously, his lips still connected to mine.

What the hell?

I reared back and peered into his worried eyes. “I-I don’t know Tudor, we’ve only just got together. Why?” I rubbed my hand over my face. “What do you think?” I asked, my nerves now starting to unravel at his random line of questioning.

He slumped opposite me and grabbed my hands in both of his. “I don’t know, Tash. But what I do know is that I’ll fight for you, no matter what happens. Do you understand? We may have only just got together, but I have never felt this way about anyone. I just can’t wait to be with you, can’t wait to be more to you that what I am now, to have figured us out. To have you forever.”

I pulled my hands from his hold and placed them both on his face, pulling him in close, tying to find answers in his skittish eyes. “Hey, where is all of this coming from? I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re worrying me.”

His sudden panic over our very new relationship status was slightly unnerving to say the least. I would not have expected such a strong reaction from him over a call from a potential date, not at this early stage. If I’m honest, it was all a bit overwhelming.

Tudor’s face was strained in tension, his eyes squeezing closed and his skin was growing moist under my palms, his hands low on my hips, grasping me close.

“Tudor, babes, calm down, everything’s okay. We will work it out as we go along… don’t worry yourself over nothing, it’ll be easy.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to reassure him that it all would work out.

He huffed out a dry laugh. “Easy! Being with me is not going to be easy, Tash. I’m always travelling; my fans, or ‘Tudor-Chicks’ as they call themselves can be crazy; the media always makes shit up. I’m possessive and at times get angry and I have so much going on in my life, it will be anything but easy. What if I lose you? What if you decide you can’t deal with all my baggage? You won’t put up with it, will you? You’ll eventually see I’m not worth the trouble. You’ll cut me loose.”

I considered what he said. Could I do this? I at least wanted to try. To me, he was worth it, but it was clear there were some big things going on in his life that I couldn’t understand and were making him act this way. Why was he so insecure? He had it all: looks, fame and money. Why had he done a complete U-turn from a cool, sullen and strong guy to a trembling mess after a little phone call?

I stood up putting an end to the charade. “I’m going in the shower, and then we’re going out.”

“What?” he asked shocked, still perched on his knees in the middle of the bed, agonising over our unwritten future.

“What? I’m not going to sit here and dwell on why we will not work out. Worry about what can go wrong, if we will make it. Instead, I’m going to get ready and we are going on that walk we had planned before you burst through the door, f**ked the brains out of me and made me your ‘exclusive’ girlfriend. Now come on, man, pull yourself around and be ready in fifteen minutes, and don't let what Gage said affect you like this. We will be just fine. Have faith, babes.”

I walked into my bathroom without a backward glance, hearing a relieved sigh coming from the direction of Tudor, his out-of-left-field meltdown dissipating into a low simmer.

After I had shut and locked the door, I leaned against the hard wood and slumped to the floor, thinking about what Tudor had said. I already liked him too much, and I didn’t know him that well at all. I mulled over what that little episode was all about, what it meant. On the one hand it was heartwarming at how highly he thought of me, how much he obviously liked me. But on the other hand, what had caused him to be so needy, so possessive, so scared? What were those pesky demons he had mentioned before in the hot tub? There must be many more pages to that story. By the looks of things, it was War and Peace-length and not a sweet little novella.