Raze (Scarred Souls 1)

Every fiber of my body froze.

“Love?” I asked, frowning. “What… what is that?”

Kisa’s thighs loosened around my waist and she pushed on my chest until I looked into her eyes. “Love, lyubov moya. You don’t remember what that is?” Her voice sounded sad, like I’d hurt her somehow.

I didn’t want to hurt her. The thought of hurting her, hurt me.

I dropped my head in embarrassment. “No… I don’t really understand what it means. I’ve heard of the word, but it has no meaning to me.”

Kisa reached back and took my hand, bringing it to lie over her chest, her heart thudding against my palm. My heart started thudding too.

“Love is an emotion, Luka. It’s shared between two people. Two people who can’t stop thinking about each other. Two people who think of each other every single day, every second, day and night. Two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together.” She paused to press her lips to mine, then pulled back. “Two people who make love, just like we did now, and know their souls belong to each other, and only each other.”

A tear ran down Kisa’s cheek, and leaning forward, I kissed it. Pulling back, I tilted my head to the side to stare at Kisa’s beautiful face.

“Then I… then I love you?”

Kisa stayed still for a moment, then surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my chest. “I hope you do, Luka. I pray you still love me too.” And I felt the wetness from her eyes on my skin.

I clutched her to my chest and rolled us to the side so I could stare at her face. I didn’t think I’d ever get sick of her face. Kisa sniffed but fought to pull a nervous smile on her face.

I laid my head on my bicep and pointed to my chest. “So this… ache I’ve had in my chest since I saw you is… love? When I see you in my dreams, and want you, it is because I love you?”

“Luka… Is that true?” she whispered, hope in her quiet voice.

I nodded, and she hooked her forefinger around mine. I looked at our fingers joined together and, for some reason, couldn’t look away.

“I have always loved you, Luka, and always dreamed you’d come back to me. I knew it was impossible, but I always prayed you, somehow, miraculously would.”

“My…” I cleared my throat, trying to put into words what was stuck there.

Kisa held her breath and our entwined fingers tightened.

“My… Something within me, here,” I pointed to my heart. “Here.” I pointed to my stomach. “And here.” I pointed to my mind. “Tells me I should have you. That you should belong to me. That you do belong to me, and that I belong to you.”

“And there,” Kisa said, pointing to my eye.

“Here?” I said, pointing at my eye too.

Kisa nodded and smiled. “That smudge of blue in your eye, says you always have.”

My pulse began to race and for once, my blood felt like it was pumping through my veins, not lying stagnant, finally bringing me back to life.

“Why, Kisa?” I asked. “Why is it like this between us?”

Kisa dipped her eyes, not saying anything for a while, but then she smiled shyly and murmured, “Whatever our souls are made of—”

“His and mine are the same.” I finished off, the words coming from some locked-away memory in my mind. My eyebrows pulled down, and I watched happiness flood Kisa’s face. “What… what is that? Why do I know it?”

“It’s Wuthering Heights, a book I used to read to you before you were taken away. It’s a line from that, one my mama used to say applied to us. We used to like it.”

“Where is your mama?”

Kisa sighed a shaky sigh and her eyes glistened. “She died, Luka. She died when I was fifteen.”

Death. It was everywhere.

Neither of us said anything for a while, but as the night drew on, I pulled Kisa to my chest. “Kisa?” I said.

“Mmm?” she murmured sleepily against my chest.

“I will kill Durov tomorrow night.”

Kisa stiffened, and I held my breath. She never talked about how she felt about him, just told me he couldn’t live without her and he needed her. But I needed her too, and the difference between Alik and me was that she needed me by her side, keeping her safe.

“I know,” Kisa finally whispered back, but I could hear the pain in her voice. A flashback from when I was a kid suddenly came to me, and my body jerked upright, Kisa falling to the sand.

I gripped my temples as the memory came quick, the pain piercing my skull almost too strong to endure…

*****

“You killed him, Alik!” I shouted, covered in my best friend’s blood as Rodion turned cold in my arms.

Alik held out the knife he’d stabbed him with, his eyes were wild and a crazy smile spread on his lips.

“No, Luka, I didn’t kill him.” I watched as Alik drove the knife into his own stomach and he dropped to the floor. “You did! You argued. You fought, and you pulled out a knife and killed him.”

“What… what the fuck are you talking about? You’re insane!” I shouted, but Alik was already screaming for help.

“He’s gone,” Alik said, looking to me and gripped his stomach. His blood poured out as he pointed to Rodion’s body. “The Volkov heir’s no more. I did just what my papa commanded. Now, one day, I’ll be the Pakhan. Rodion was too weak to lead, too nice. Me, I was born to be ruthless, to kill anyone in my way.”