Sweet Hope (Sweet Home 3)

But I couldn’t stop now. I’d made a small crack in his impenetrable armor; it was about damn time that armor was obliterated.

It was time to let in the light.

“You did,” I said firmly. “You drafted your brothers in to the Heighters because you couldn’t do it on your own. You needed help but you were afraid to ask for it. Had no one to ask, anyhow. You were alone, you were ‘Axel Carillo’, the man the Heighters used for intimidation. The guy all the rival gangs feared above anyone else. So how could you beg someone for help when you were always the guy to show no emotion or remorse? Yes, a part of you wanted Austin and Levi involved because you loved that crew. They were your family. They had your back when no one else did. They would kill for you, no questions asked. They were always there when no one else was. And you wanted that sense of family for Austin and Levi too. Because you love them. You love them more than anyone or anything in this world. They’re all you have left and it was the only way you knew how to keep them close and try and save your mamma at the same time. You thought it would keep y’all together as a family.”

Axel’s heart was slamming against his chest as he stared over my head, unable to meet my gaze. But I knew he was listening, as his hand reached up for mine and gripped my wrists tightly. It was in nothing else but support.

“But you couldn’t save your mamma,” I said in a quieter supportive tone, using my thumb to gently stroke the skin on his hand, “the Heighters were ruining Austin and Levi’s lives. You ran away from the cops back when Porter OD’ed, and unbeknownst to you, left Austin and Lev to deal with your mamma’s final days. But you came back and saved Austin from doing hard time. You came back to save your brothers over the crew who'd been your only real family for so long. Because you did it all for family. Everything you do is for family. You've repeatedly sacrificed your chance at happiness so they can keep theirs.”

I slid my hands around his neck and traced the long scar, the scar from the shanking that nearly killed him. “You endured five years of hell for your brothers. And even though you found your life’s passion within that nightmare, your sculptures cry desperate pleas for forgiveness. Your sculptures are guilt ridden cries of pain… deep sorrow… deep anguish and sadness for things you believe you cannot move on from… or face up to...”

I was referring specifically to the marble angel. It was still the only finished piece he’d never explained to me. But I knew what it was about, that angel. The dual-faced broken and liberated angel was his mamma.

“Ally…” he whispered, his hands shaking as they held me.

Skirting my palm to lay on his cheek, I said, “I know you, Axel Carillo, querido. You’re not the villain in this story, you’re the beautifully flawed hero. You’re the dark hero who has been sacrificing himself all along so others would be safe… and you did it all fully understanding that no one could ever know. But I know, and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me for giving my heart to you.”

“They’re all gonna know now,” he rasped, his voice sounding as though he’d swallowed yards of razor wire. “Your friends, my brothers, will all know we’re together after this, after tonight… and they ain’t gonna understand why. When all this shit clears with Molly, they’re gonna try and make you leave me. They’re gonna want to tear us apart.”

Tilting my head to the side, I could see the hurt and the apprehension… and was there… fear, in his voice? The realization warmed my soul…he didn’t want to lose me. My heart became so full of love I could barely breathe… he didn’t want to lose me…

Edging to his mouth slowly, I brushed my lips along his, hearing him sigh at that same feeling which always jolted through our bodies whenever we touched.

“Rayo…” I whispered against his warm mouth, unable to stop my smile.

“What?” he asked as his hand caressed my spine.

I smiled wider, the action causing him to inhale a quick breath. “Lightning,” I explained. “Together, we make… lightning… it’s the only way I can explain what feeling goes through me when I see you, talk to you… touch you... make love to you…”

Axel was silent at my words, until his hand wrapped tightly around my waist. “Fulmine,” he translated into Italian. My legs quaked at his perfect pronunciation, such a beautiful language slipping from his lips. “Si…” he said on a deep sigh, “La mia fulmine… la mia luce…”

“Kiss me,” I replied. Axel pressed us closer together, our bodies once again fused.

Our lips wandered along cheeks and necks until at last they met in a sensuous kiss… the most perfect of soft kisses. More was said in this single kiss than our endless nights of lovemaking.

As our lips parted, our breaths coming strong, I assured Axel, “No one can make me leave you. I don’t care what they say. You’re mine, all mine. Your troubles are my troubles. Your sins are now my sins.”

Axel shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just promised. He lifted my hand, turning my arm to kiss the inside of my wrists. “You’re my sacrament. The holy water my mamma used to bless me with, a pleading benediction slipping from her lips, now runs in your veins.” He dropped my arm only to use his thumbs to smudge the tears from my eyes and suck the collected tears into his mouth. As his lips released the pad of his thumb, he finished, “it falls with every tear you shed for me.”