Me: That’s great news! So it was a good day?
I roll my eyes because I already know the answer to this, and by asking, I’m continuing to perpetuate the lie. But I’m also pimping her for information about myself, wondering if she’ll spill the dirt on Harry — considering there were definitely sparks flying in both directions.
Oh, she hid it well, but they were there.
Me: I lucked out today, I had a maintenance guy help me with a few things.
At the mention of me, I perk up.
Me: Oh yeah? What all did he do??
Way too many question marks, bro.
I delete and start a new message.
Me: OR SHE — sorry. Help you with?
Felicity: Lol it was a man. And I had this horrible situation with the light above my desk and he didn’t just save the day, he saved my entire year. Literally.
Me: LOL your entire year?!
Felicity: Yes! Because I would have been done weeks ago if that light hadn’t been messing with my head. As soon as he came along and fixed it, I was cranking out the work. It put me in such a good mood.
What she means is HARRY put her in such a good mood.
I scowl, reading between the lines, oddly jealous since I AM HARRY.
HARRY IS ME.
Me: You said he helped with a few things. Like what else?
Felicity: Well…. he fixed a drawer in my desk, opened the heater vent in the ceiling, and a vending machine inside the womens’ bathroom I’d been complaining about LOLOL.
Me: They have vending machines in the bathroom?
Felicity: That was my polite way of saying “Tampon Machine”
Me: OH! It sounds like he was looking for random things to fix so he could hang around…
It takes her a few minutes to respond and I imagine she’s searching for the proper response.
Felicity: I can’t speak for him, but maybe he lingered a bit longer than he should have. He wasn’t being weird or anything if you’re worried.
Weird is the least of my worries, because I know you had chemistry with the guy.
Aka: ME.
Me: You’re a beautiful woman, I’m sure he couldn’t help himself.
Felicity: Hmm, maybe. I doubt it.
Me: So — switching gears, really quick so you can get moving and get home; I have a time and location for you. Ready?
Felicity: Give it to me.
My balls tighten, mind automatically going to sex and boobs and her hair in the palm of my hand.
Me: Do you know where the McGinnis Building is on Downer Avenue?
Felicity: Um… I know that building very well, why?
So she’s not ready to tell me that’s where she works? Okay — I get it. Fair enough.
Me: At eleven o’clock, there’s going to be a man in the lobby, and he’s going to take you to the roof…The hot water beats down on me when I crank the heat on my six-jet shower, ready for the rest of the evening — thanking God for Sheila (of all people) and throwing up a hallelujah that I have an actual plan for tonight.
Once I finally got Sheila to see the problem with setting up a sex swing on the roof in December, not to mention as a first date with a virtual stranger, things started rolling and our ideas snowballed into what will hopefully be the most romantic first meeting Felicity has ever experienced.
At this exact moment, Timmy is setting up a beautiful winter themed setting, complete with Felicity’s choice of finger foods compliments of yet another random connection Sheila has, cloth napkins, and a centerpiece full of her favorite Winter Camellias in various shades of pink and red.
While I probably should have fessed up to Felicity from the beginning about who I am, the benefit of going undercover in her office are the mental notes about all her favorites I was able to make on the sly. Without her knowing I was doing recon of her personal space.
Her computer screensaver? Has the same flower on it that’s on her cheesy mug — it’s pretty damn obvious she loves the winter flower. It also helps that my mom used to make me work at my aunt’s flower shop every summer through high school. I probably wouldn’t have recognized them otherwise.
One quick call to my aunt and I cleared out all her Winter Camellia inventory, along with that of some of her local colleagues, but for the right price it didn’t seem to be an inconvenience for them at all.
The more the better.
Sheila and I were in agreement on that at least.
Is the entire thing cheesy? Maybe.
Is it over-the-top? Possibly.
Is she going to love it?
Absolutely.
And, hopefully the view makes up for the lies I have to expose, me being me and not Steve, that is.
If everything works out according to plan, there won’t be a better view than the direct line of sight we have for the first-time-ever in our city NYE ball to drop at midnight.