“Promise not to kick me again, and I’ll promise not to kiss you again,” he said.
“I only kicked you because you kissed me!”
I tried to pull my leg back, but he kept a hard grip.
“Promise,” he said.
“All right,” I bit out. “I promise. ”
“Then we have a deal. ”
He dropped my foot, and I drew it back beneath my kefta, hoping he couldn’t see my idiotic blush.
“Great,” I said. “Now get out. ”
“It’s my coach. ”
“The deal was only for kicking. It did not prohibit slapping, punching, biting, or cutting you in half. ”
He grinned. “Afraid Oretsev will wonder what we’ve gotten up to?”
That was exactly what I was worried about. “I’m concerned that if I’m forced to spend another minute with you, I may vomit on my kefta. ”
“It’s an act, Alina. The stronger our alliance, the better it will be for both of us. I’m sorry if it puts a burr in Mal’s sock, but it’s a necessity. ”
“That kiss wasn’t a necessity. ”
“I was improvising,” he said. “I got carried away. ”
“You never improvise,” I said. “Everything you do is calculated. You change personalities the way other people change hats. And you know what? It’s creepy. Aren’t you ever just yourself?”
“I’m a prince, Alina. I can’t afford to be myself. ”
I blew out an annoyed breath.
He was silent for a moment and then said, “I … you really think I’m creepy?”
It was the first time he’d sounded less than sure of himself. Despite what he’d done, I actually felt a little sorry for him.
“Occasionally,” I admitted.
He scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Then he sighed and shrugged. “I’m a younger son, most likely a bastard, and I’ve been away from court for almost seven years. I’m going to do everything I can to strengthen my chances for the throne, and if that means courting an entire nation or making moon eyes at you, then I’ll do it. ”
I goggled at him. I hadn’t really heard anything after the word “bastard. ” Genya had hinted that there were rumors about Nikolai’s parentage, but I was shocked that he would acknowledge them.
He laughed. “You’re never going to survive at court if you don’t learn to hide what you’re thinking a bit better. You look like you just sat in a bowl of cold porridge. Close your mouth. ”
I shut my mouth with a snap and tried to school my features into a pleasant expression. That just made Nikolai laugh harder. “Now you look like you’ve had too much wine. ”
I gave up and slouched back against the seat. “How can you joke about something like that?”
“I’ve heard the whispers since I was a child. It’s not something I want repeated outside of this coach—and I’ll deny it if you do—but I couldn’t care less whether or not I have Lantsov blood. In fact, given all the royal inbreeding, being a bastard is probably a point in my favor. ”
I shook my head. He was completely baffling. It was hard to know what to take seriously when it came to Nikolai.
“Why is the crown so important to you?” I asked. “Why go through all of this?”
“Is it so hard to believe I might actually care what happens to this country?”
“Honestly? Yes. ”
He studied the toes of his polished boots. I could never figure out how he kept them so shiny.
“I guess I like fixing things,” he said. “I always have. ”
It wasn’t much of an answer, but somehow it rang true.
“You truly think your brother will step aside?”
“I hope so. He knows the First Army will follow me, and I don’t think he has the stomach for civil war. Besides, Vasily inherited our father’s aversion to hard work. Once he realizes what it really takes to run a country, I doubt he’ll be able to run from the capital fast enough. ”
“And if he doesn’t give up so easily?”
“It’s simply a question of finding the right incentive. Pauper or prince, every man can be bought. ”