“I need her.” I tapped my head. “In here, I need her.” Then I bounced my fist over my heart. “And here. I feel her in here too.”
AK’s shoulders rose and fell, then he said, “You didn’t cut yourself at the table. You always fucking cut yourself at the table.”
I stared at him, not saying shit, and he nodded his head. “The little one, right?”
My eyes fell to my arm dripping with blood and I swallowed. “She calms them. With her, they don’t burn. I sleep, they’re calm… I can’t be without her.”
“Fuck,” AK said again and clicked his fingers to make me look up. “You listen to me, Flame. You fucking listened to me when you were a scrawny lost seventeen year old kid, and I need you to listen to me now. You fucking lose it, you come find me. You freak the fuck out again, like you did on the Chechen drop off, and you find me. The little one fucking wants to be around you when most bitches would be running a fucking mile in the other direction. That’s a fucking big deal for you both. You don’t have to be a fucking genius to work that shit out. And I don’t want you to hurt her, or you, again. Because if you hurt her, Styx will kick your ass out of this MC, and we both know you need us. You won’t do so well outside on your own. So we have a deal?”
I heard his words. I knew I couldn’t hurt Maddie, but I agreed anyway.
AK blew out a breath. “I hated seeing you that far gone, brother. I ain’t got any idea what set you off, and I’m pretty fucking sure you ain’t gonna share, but it’s damn good to have you back.” He smiled and said, “Need you back in the trio. Viking’s a fucking nightmare on his own.”
“Someone say my name?” Turning to the door, on cue, we saw Viking coming through zipping up his leathers.
“Mention the devil and he’ll fucking appear,” AK muttered as Viking threw his arm around AK’s shoulder. AK looked at the hand lying on his shoulder and said, “That hand better not have fucking just touched your grass snake.”
Viking pulled his hand away and punched AK on his arm. “It’s a fucking anaconda, and you know it.”
AK flicked his chin, ignoring Viking. “We okay, Flame?”
Gripping my knife tighter in my hand, I could feel skin twitching. I needed Maddie. I needed her right the fuck now.
“Flame? We good?” AK repeated.
“We’re good,” I replied, then turned and left the room.
Passing through the club, I never looked at the brothers prepping to go on drop off. Instead, I burst out of the back exit and hit the dirt road that led to Styx’s cabin.
Quickening into a run, I cut through the trees to where Maddie had last been. Mae and Lilah were sitting on chairs: no Maddie.
My eyes searched the clearing but Maddie wasn’t anywhere in sight.
“Where’s Maddie?” I asked.
“She has gone to wait for you at your cabin,” Lilah said.
I backed away and broke through the line of trees. I ran until my cabin came into view. I pushed the door open, my eyes immediately finding Maddie at the only seat I owned, next to the large living room window.
She was drawing again. She’d changed clothes. This time wearing a sleeveless white dress. And her long black hair was tied back.
As I entered through the door, her head snapped up. She jumped, and her green eyes were wide, until she whispered my name, “Flame…” and her body lost tension.
My muscles tensed when her cheeks turned pink.
Maddie shut the sketchpad and put her pencil on the windowsill. She then got up from the chair and walked toward me. She smelled of strawberries. Something she’d washed with smelled of strawberries.
“You’re here,” I confirmed. Maddie looked up at me and smiled.
My pulse kicked into overdrive at her smile.
“I wanted to be here when you came home.” She pointed to the kitchen with her finger. “I have made you food for this evening. I will not be here to make it for you and I wanted to be sure you ate.”
My body froze. “Where are you going?”
Maddie’s smile dropped, and she replied, “Lilah and Mae are taking Sarai to church. I am to go with them.”
Like a tidal wave of fire, the flames rushed through my blood, my head snapping back on a hiss. Hands shaking, I brought the blade to my arm and sliced hard. At the feel of the sharp edge ripping through my flesh, I smiled, feeling the relief of the blood flowing from my arm.
“Flame!” Maddie called.
“No…” I snarled. She couldn’t go. She couldn’t leave me.
Maddie took a step back, her palms up in front of her chest. “Flame, stop—”
“You’re not fucking going to that place!” My feet started to pace. All I could see in my head were rows and rows of pews. Screaming. People lying on the floor. And Pastor Hughes’s voice, call, “…In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues…”
The snakes, being tied down, the poison, the pain, unable to move…
“FUCK!” I screamed, as the flames coursed through my veins.
I couldn’t stand them. Couldn’t stand them burning my flesh. Holding my breath, I threw off my Cut and sliced across my torso. I exhaled and bent over at the pain. But then he was in my head.
Fisting my free hand, I slammed it into the side of my skull trying to block out his voice. “GO THE FUCK AWAY!” I shouted. But he was behind me, gripping the back of my neck, taking me to that church.