Crux Untamed (Hades Hangmen 6)

“Just tired. Going to bed.”

I went to walk off, but Cowboy grabbed my arm. “You feeling okay? You hot? Got a temperature or anything?”

I shrugged off his hold. “Ça va.” I’m good.

Cowboy exhaled, but he held my eyes for a fraction too long. Nodding, he said, “Ça c’est bon.” That’s good.

I turned away from him and headed to my bedroom.

“You were cold tonight, mon frère.”

I stopped dead, but didn’t turn round.

“She likes you. And you made her feel like shit. You could see it on her face. In fact, you were fucking rude.” Cowboy sighed. “We back there? You pressing the self-destruct button again?”

I stayed silent for three strained seconds, wanting to say more than I did. “It’s for the fucking best and you know it.”

Cowboy didn’t follow me as I shut the door to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hands down my face. “Merde,” I whispered and lay back. I heard Cowboy clumping through the house, still pissed at me.

And fuck, I was pissed at myself.

I tried to sleep. But eyes open or closed, I couldn’t shake the image of Sia’s fading smile from my head.

Yeah, I was a cold bastard to her. I knew it. I’d intended to be.

But as I leaned over and opened my bedside drawer to stare at the photograph inside, I knew I had to be. Truth was, I fucking liked the bitch. But it could only ever end one way . . .

In a fucking mess.

Bitch was worth more than what I could give.

Chapter Three

Sia

Two weeks later . . .

Bella’s laughter pealed through the air as she told a story about her husband. “He is with his mother, Ruth, right now. Father is with them too.” She took a drink of her tea. “I believe Solomon and Samson have a meeting today with Styx.”

Mae nodded. “They came to our home two nights ago. They were in the office with Styx and Ky for a couple of hours.”

“They are joining the Hangmen?” Lilah asked.

Mae sat back in her seat and cradled her bump. It was getting big now. “I do not know what was discussed, but I guess that is where it is going.”

“I think so too,” Bella said. “Even in the commune in Puerto Rico, they were rebels among those who were already considered anarchists of the faith. They would do well here, I believe. They are good men, strong in character and devoted to their kin. The Hangmen, over the past several months, have become kin to them.”

“Surely they will not prospect with the young ones?” Phebe asked.

They all shrugged. I exhaled a long breath and sank farther into my seat. I closed my eyes and imagined what I’d be doing right now if I were back on the ranch. I loved these ladies. I did. But their way of life was not the way I liked to live mine. Over the past couple of weeks I’d spent my days with Lilah, Mae, Phebe, Maddie, Bella and Lilah. They were always together. It actually kind of broke my heart to see how close they all were, and to know what they had gone through. They all spoke in their strange little accents. Were more polite than anyone I’d ever met. Their mannerisms were soft and delicate. And I was under no illusion as to why their men adored them like they did. There was no choice but to want to protect them. And unlike most modern women, they lived to serve their husbands. They were traditional in a sweet way, but not a downtrodden way.

I was nothing like these ladies.

The only one who didn’t speak much was Maddie. I watched her now, hand-stitching something that looked like a picture of a Harley. As if feeling me watching, she met my eyes and gave me a small timid smile. Beaming back, I decided to sit beside her and ask, “So, Madds. How’s life?”

Maddie paused mid-pull of the black cotton she was sewing with. “Very well, thank you,” she replied and immediately returned to her work.

“And Flame?” I continued. “How’s your husband?”

Maddie’s eyes widened, and I realized all the voices in the room had silenced. All eyes were on me. “What?” I challenged. “Just trying for conversation.” I turned back to Maddie. “So Madds? How’s the big guy? Gotta be honest, never thought anyone would tame that dude, from what Ky’s told me about him in the past. And here comes little old you, taming the beast.”

“My husband is not a beast!” Maddie snapped. I tensed at her words. It was the most feisty statement I had ever heard from her mouth.

“I . . . I wasn’t.” I leaned forward. “It’s a saying, darlin’. I wasn’t actually calling him a beast.”

Maddie’s green eyes stayed locked on me as she read my face. Apparently sensing I was telling the truth, she relaxed. “Then he is well, thank you,” she eventually said and again returned to her stitching.

“I didn’t mean to offend, Madds. I was simply asking how it was, being with him. You seem . . . you both seem so happy.” They were, from what I’d seen. They were rarely at the bar, but when they were, she never left his side. His big arm was always holding her, like she was his anchor. He adored her, and she him. It truly was fucking beautiful to see.

Maddie gave a small smile but continued with her sewing. I knew that was all I was getting from her.

“More tea, Sia?” Lilah asked as she rose from the table. “Grace returns from school soon, so it’ll have to be our last, ladies. Slash will be coming to take me to collect her.”

All the others agreed, but I was barely listening. My hand tapped on my knee. I couldn’t take this. I had to get out of here. That swirl in my stomach, as destructive as a whirlpool, sank further

and further south until it began to consume me. I tried to breathe, but it switched north to my lungs, swallowing the air inside them.

“Sia?” Lilah was watching me. Unable to sit still, trying to escape the all too familiar feeling of falling apart, I jumped to my feet.

“I . . .” I rubbed at my chest and bolted for the door. “Sorry. I gotta go.”

I burst out of the cabin onto the grass. I ran into the woods that led to the compound, just in case someone tried to follow me. I took shelter against a large tree. Bracing my hands on my knees, I tried to breathe deeply . . .

“You’ll wear the red dress, bella. I like you best in red.” I stared at the dress. It was beautiful. No doubt expensive. But all I saw was a cage. Only the bars weren’t made of iron, but of satin and lace.

Juan gripped my face and yanked my head towards his. His grip was so hard that I whimpered. “You will wear the dress. Yes?”

“Yes.” I forced a smile. His eyes flared at my submissiveness. Releasing my face, he moved around me. I clutched tightly to the dress in my hands like a lifeline. My eyes closed as he circled my naked body until he stopped at my back. I winced when his finger ran over my shoulder . . . over the tattoo he’d had branded on my skin that morning.

“Mmm,” he murmured, pressing a kiss on the still-raw flesh. “Mine, bella . . . mi rosa negra . . .”

I gasped, trying to the shake the fucked-up memory from my head. I knew it was because I’d been away from my ranch for too long. Doing nothing but grocery shopping, drinking tea, cooking, baking, and caring for Grace wasn’t enough to occupy my busy mind. I needed the laborious work the ranch provided. I needed to be so exhausted by the end of the day that I fell into a deep enough sleep to ensure the nightmares didn’t return.

I ran my hand down my face, knowing my eyes wore dark circles as if they were the newest fashion from Paris. I needed my horses. Needed the comfort they gave me. I needed my familiar little ranch house with its creaks and groans. I needed the aches in my muscles and the smell of leather soap permeating the air.