My Maddie (Hades Hangmen 8)

“I don’t know what makes me happy… except you,” I whispered. I dropped my gaze to Maddie’s stomach. I wanted to be happy about our baby. But I was also scared. I was scared I would fail our baby. “What if I’m a bad papa,” I rasped. Dread sank into my bones. “What if I’m like my poppa, but just don’t know it yet? What if I hurt our baby?”

“Not possible,” Maddie argued.

“How do you know?”

“Because I know you. I know the truth of your heart and the very blueprint of your soul.” Maddie kissed my cheek. “You love harder than anyone I have met.” She kissed my other cheek. “You protect me like no other.” She kissed my forehead. “You would do anything for me.” Maddie then kissed my lips. “You will do that for our child and more.” She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. “I thank God everyday that this baby has you as a father. It will be the most fortunate child alive. Our baby will grow up free from the horrors we have experienced.”

“Like the kids at the house?” I said.

“Like the children at the house.”

“They laughed.”

Maddie nodded. “And our child will laugh too.”

“I love the sound of your laugh,” I told her. “I want our baby to laugh like you too.” I couldn’t remember laughing.

“We can do this, Flame. Our souls may still be fractured, but they are healing. Someday, only faint scars will remain.”

I don’t believe in much,” I confessed. My eyes closed. I was tired. “But I believe in you, Maddie. I’ve always believed in you.” I fell asleep with my hand protecting our baby and Maddie’s head against mine. The flames were in my blood, but they did not burn. Isaiah was in heaven with mama… and now, I could sleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Maddie

Several months later…

“Come here, baby,” I said. Charon ran over to where I was sitting. I clapped my hands and he giggled. He wore a black onesie with the Hades Hangmen emblem on the front. His pitch-black hair was the exact shade as Mae’s. And his eyes were ice-blue. He was beautiful. Talitha and Azrael rolled on the floor, crawling when the mood struck them. Both blonde and blue-eyed, like Lilah and Ky.

“Where are my munchkins?” Sia entered Mae’s home. “Argh!” she praised Azrael when he smiled, drooled and crawled toward her. She picked him up and kissed his cheek. “How’s my little heartbreaker?” She kissed him until he giggled. I could not help but smile. “There he is! There he is!” Sia placed Azrael back on the floor and picked up Talitha. Sia kissed Lilah on the cheek. “How the fuck do you look like that after having twins?” She rolled her eyes, and then set them on Mae. “And you! Where are the dark circles? The haggardness?”

“Hello, Sia,” Mae said and got up to fix Sia a drink. Sia sat beside Beauty and Letti. Adelita was next to Beauty on the other side, and Phebe and Sapphira sat beside them. Bella sat beside me.

“How’re feeling, Madds?” Beauty asked.

“Very large,” I replied, as I cradled my huge stomach. I was three days overdue. I was waiting anxiously to meet our baby. I could not wait.

“Has Sister Ruth finished preparing your home?” Mae asked.

“Yes. And as soon as I go into labor she will come to us. She will inform the hospital too; in case I need their assistance.”

“Shit, darlin’. You’re a braver bitch than me, having a home birth. Give me all the fucking drugs, I say!” Sia said.

Lilah raised her eyebrow. “Do you have something to tell us, Sia?”

“Fuck no! I ain’t ready for kids yet.” She smiled wide and winked. “But I sure as fuck love practicing with my men.”

“Do you have names picked out, Maddie?” Adelita asked.

“Yes.”

“And you ain’t gonna tell us?” Beauty asked, picking Charon up and tickling his stomach. I laughed, as she playfully glowered across the room at me.

“No,” I refused, rubbing my protruding stomach for emphasis. “You will all find out soon enough.”

“Your Auntie Maddie is a tease,” Beauty said, tickling Charon some more. “She’s a tease!” I smiled at my nephew’s happiness. It was infectious. And he was so loved. He was spoiled by everyone at the club. He ran across the room toward Mae and held his arms out for her. She scooped him up in her arms and held him close. My heart squeezed at the sight. I would have that intimacy soon. I never thought that I would have children.

I never believed I could have a life where I would be allowed to keep them. If a cursed had fallen pregnant in The Order, the child would have been taken from the mother and sent elsewhere, never to be seen again—like Rider and Judah had been taken from Ruth, like Sapphira had been taken from Phebe, like we had all been taken from our mothers.

“We are very lucky,” I found myself saying quietly. All talking ceased. Bella reached out and held my hand. Tears filled my eyes. I quickly wiped them away. I met Mae’s, Lilah’s, Bella’s and Phebe’s eyes. “If we remained in The Order we would never have known this kind of love.” I noticed Phebe tense, and my eyes drifted to her. “Or we would mourn the child ripped from our embrace.” Sapphira leaned against Phebe’s side and curled her head into her mother’s arm. I adored Sapphira. She was quiet—too quiet. She had barely attended school before she eventually left.

In fact, over the past few months Sapphira had scarcely left the cabin. Phebe feared she had regressed. Sapphira never talked. Phebe said she believed Sapphira’s brief experience in the outside world had been too much for her to cope with. Rather than helping her take strides, she had pulled back into herself. She had no friends but for Zane and Grace. What little contact she had with Asher had ceased. Asher had begun working with Tank and Bull at the motorcycle shop. He was doing better, and I was so proud of him. For a while I was terrified he was spiraling into trouble, into something he could not come back from.

Mae cuddled Charon. Lilah held Talitha,

and Sia held Azrael. “I could not bear it,” Mae said as she kissed the top of Charon’s black hair. “The love I have for him… it is unrivaled. To take him from me would be to rip out my entire heart and leave only a cavernous hole.”

“I would not be able to live…” Lilah started then paused. Her watery blue eyes landed on Phebe, her blood sister.

Phebe tightened her hold on Sapphira. “It…” Phebe pressed her cheek to Sapphira’s head. “I was soulless. When they took her from me, I was soulless until I found her again.” Phebe put her finger under Sapphira’s chin and lifted her pretty face. Sapphira’s cheeks were wet but her eyes were haunted. They always were. We had all suffered heinous atrocities at the hands of The Order and the disciples, in accordance with Prophet David’s teachings. But I feared Sapphira had suffered the worst of all. I knew only the tip of the iceberg with regard to the horrors she faced. When I let myself think of her young but heartbreaking life, I wondered how she would ever place her trust in anyone again. I felt my baby move and sympathetic devastation washed through me. Would she ever fall in love? Would she ever be in a position to have a child of her own? If it had not been for Flame, I would not have. I prayed she found someone to lead her from the darkness into the light. Someone worthy of her sweet nature, and fragile heart. Someone who would adore her and keep her safe from the ghosts of her past.

“We will know them now,” Phebe said, and kissed Sapphira on her cheek. Sapphira’s loving smile toward her mother was almost my undoing. My emotions were on edge at the moment. But when it came to Sapphira, my heart was always open. She reminded me of myself before Flame. I would do anything I could to see her happy.

“Phebe?” Lilah said carefully. “Are you pregnant?” I held my breath waiting for the answer.

“No,” she replied. But her cheeks flushed with redness. Phebe reached into her pocket and slid a ring onto her finger. “But I am engaged.” She dropped her gaze. “AK has asked me to marry him…” Her smile radiated pure happiness. “And I said yes.”