I never let go of her the entire day, except for Maddie to feed her or to hold her. Maddie yawned. “I am ready to go home, Flame,” she said.
I got to my feet and walked to the truck. Maddie put Beatrix in the car seat, and we drove home. We walked into the bedroom and Maddie lay down on the bed, putting Beatrix beside her. I climbed on the other side. Beatrix kicked her arms and legs between us. Her green eyes locked on mine. I gasped. I fucking gasped every time I met her eyes—a little Maddie. I had another Maddie. Warmth spread through my veins again. Not the flames, but the other warm feeling I’d had since I first held her.
“You are feeling it again?” Maddie asked, when I stared down at my wrists. I nodded. Maddie smiled and took hold of my hand. “Happiness, Flame. What you are feeling is true happiness.”
“Happiness,” I rasped, and looked down to Beatrix. “No one will ever hurt you both. I promise.”
“I know,” Maddie responded, putting her hand over my cheek. Beatrix’s hand came up. Maddie pulled her hand back, laughing. “He is my husband, little one. I am allowed to touch him too.” She kissed Beatrix on her forehead, and I thought my heart was gonna fucking burst. Beatrix’s hand came up again.
“What does she want?” I asked Maddie.
“I think she wants to hold your finger,” Maddie said, and my stomach fucking dropped.
Isaiah lifted his hand, almost touching mine. I pulled my hand back. He was still looking at me. “He wants to hold your finger, baby. He wants to meet his big brother.”
“Hold… hold my finger?”
“I can’t,” I said and tucked my hands under my legs. My eyes were still on Isaiah as he held onto my mama’s finger. I wanted to hold his hand too. But I couldn’t hurt him. I couldn’t make him a sinner like me. He was so little. I didn’t want him to be like me…
“Flame?” Maddie’s voice cut through the memory. “Flame…” she whispered. “Come back to me.” I blinked. My vision was blurred. Maddie reached over Beatrix, wiping my eyes and the wetness from my cheeks. “You are okay. You will not hurt her, remember?”
Beatrix made a gurgling sound and I looked down to her. Her tiny hand was in the air again. I swallowed, wanting to let her hold me, to let her hold my finger and say hello… just like Isaiah had wanted to, but I never let him.
“I love you,” Maddie said and lay her head on the pillow. I couldn’t take my eyes off our daughter. When her hand lifted again and her green eyes met mine, I lowered my hand, heart slamming in my chest as I did so. Beatrix’s hand curled around my finger and I felt my throat close up and my eyes fill with water. Beatrix squeezed my finger.
“Hello,” I said, remembering why my mama said Isaiah had wanted to do this. I swallowed and heard Maddie cry.
“They are happy tears,” she assured, leaning over to kiss my lips. Beatrix didn’t let go of my finger. “I am so proud of you, baby. I cannot express how proud of you I am.” That feeling of warmth Maddie called happiness spread over me again. I looked from Maddie to Beatrix and I breathed easily. “Tell me,” Maddie whispered as Beatrix’s eyes began to close with sleep. “Tell me how you feel?”
I lay my head down too, seeing Maddie on the other side of Beatrix, Beatrix holding my finger. I remembered what Maddie had said to me when I woke after the woods. My heartbeat was loud in my ears, but I rasped, “I have found the ones whom my soul loves.”
“Flame,” Maddie whispered, lips trembling.
I looked to Beatrix, now fallen asleep, her chest gently rising up and down. “I have found rest.” Maddie lay her arm over mine, Beatrix sheltered in between us. In minutes Maddie fell asleep. I stayed awake to watch over my girls. I didn’t think I could ever have this. Every day I tried to push my poppa’s voice from my head. I had a family now. One I would never hurt. One, no one would ever take away from me. I would make sure of it.
My family.
My Ash.
My Maddie.
My Beatrix.
My motherfucking world.
The End
Playlist
Send Me On My Way – Colin & Caroline
Best Part of Me (Feat. YEBBA) – Ed Sheeran
Power Over Me – Dermot Kennedy
Glory – Dermot Kennedy
Priest – William Crighton
Bobby Reid – Lucette
Lay ’Em Down – NEEDTOBREATHE
Cursed – Lord Huron
Evil – Nadine Shah
For Island Fires & Family – Dermot Kennedy
Take What You Want (Feat. Ozzie Osbourne) – Post M
alone
A Place Only You Can Go – NEEDTOBREATHE
Devil’s Been Talkin’ – NEEDTOBREATHE
Lay Down – Ella Henderson
Flames (with ZAYN) – R3HAB, ZAYN, Jungleboi
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) – Hillsong UNITED
Another in the Fire – Hillsong UNITED
As You Find Me – Hillsong UNITED
To listen, Click Here
Acknowledgements
Thank you to my husband, Stephen, for being my biggest supporter.
Roman, my little smooch. You are the absolute light of my life. I’m so blessed to be your mammy. I never thought it was possible to love somebody so much. You’re the best thing I have ever done in my life. Everything is for you.
Mam and Dad, thank you for the continued support. Dad, thank you for always being a champion of my writing and helping me whenever I need you.
Samantha, Marc, Taylor, Isaac, Archie, and Elias, love you all.
Thessa, thank you for being the best assistant in the world. You make the best edits, keep me organized and are one kick ass friend to boot!
Liz, thank you for being my super-agent and friend.
Neda and Ardent Prose, I am so happy that I jumped on board with you guys. You’ve made my life infinitely more organized. You kick PR ass!
To my Tillie’s Tribe and Hangmen Harem, I couldn’t ask for better book friends. Thank you for all for everything you do for me. Here’s to another step forward in our Dark Romance Revolution! I love how your little dark hearts are drawn to mine. Viva Dark Romance!
Thank you to all the AMAZING bloggers that have supported my career from the start, and the ones who help share my work and shout about it from the rooftops. You’re appreciated more than you’ll ever know.
And lastly, thank you to the readers. Without you none of this would be possible. Our Hades Hangmen world is one of my very favorite places to be. Some people don’t understand us, and our undying love for our favorite men in leather… But we have each other, our own tribe, and that’s all we’ll ever need as our biker series grows!