Beauty from Surrender (Beauty 2)

I switch on the heat but decide the best way to warm up is a shower. I turn the water to full-blast hot and the bathroom quickly fills with steam. I adjust the temperature and step under the warmth pelting down. It feels good against my weary body but does nothing to ease my mind. All I can think about is each and every time Jack Henry was in the shower with me. I remember the way he made me feel when he worshipped my body. I'm desperate to feel that way again but I never will. And I don't know how I'll deal with that.

When I finish showering, I dress in one of Jack Henry's T-shirts that I stole—the one he was wearing before we went to bed together for the last time. I bring it to my nose and inhale deeply. I fall into bed because exhaustion has become my master. I will spend the night alone for the first time in more than two months. It's a strange feeling, and I don't like it.

Jack Henry would've already gone to bed without me for the first time. I can't keep myself from wondering if he missed me as he lay next to my empty spot. Did he wake and reach for me before he remembered I was no longer there? I wish I knew if he lost any sleep over me.

I feel the tears coming and I can do nothing to hold them back. I'm alone so there's no reason to try. A scream threatens to burst from my throat. I bury a pillow over my face to muffle it because I don't want to alarm the neighbors. I kick my legs against my mattress like an irate toddler. I'd be admitted to the loony bin if anyone were to witness my mad fit. But it needs to come out. I'm in so much agony.

He could've asked me to stay but he didn't. I told him I loved him and he couldn't say it back. That's because it would've been a lie, and pretending is one thing we didn't do.

I can't help myself. It's one lie I wouldn't have minded at all.

Chapter Two

Jack McLaclan

No brunettes. I can never see another one without thinking of her. Laurelyn has ruined all of them for me. Forever. And she's ruined me as well. That's why I'm drunk off my arse in this hotel bar. I have to be if I'm going to do the only thing that might make losing her less painful. Find number fourteen, take her upstairs, and f**k her until I drive Laurelyn out of my head.

I was plastered five shots ago, so now I'm on shot number oblivion. I toss it back and slam the glass on the counter. "Another." The bartender gives me a sideways glance as he's deciding if he'll cut me off, so I reach into my wallet and drop a fat bill for him. "I said another."

I turn around on the barstool to begin my search. I have the hotel room. All I need now is a woman who doesn't recognize me. Number fourteen.

I scan the room like I always do and begin by taking inventory. I see a few decent-looking blonds, maybe a redhead or two, but none of them hold a candle to her. No one ever will.

I've lost the only thing that ever made me feel alive.

My thoughts drift to the place in my head where only Laurelyn resides, so I don't notice when someone takes the seat next to me. I'm brought out of my trance when I hear her voice. "Waiting on someone?"

I turn to the voice's owner and see an attractive blond with chin-length hair set in loose curls, her bright blue eyes displaying no recognition of who I am. Probably midthirties. Maybe closer to forty and dressed like a professional in a sheath dress and fitted jacket. She's just my usual type. Before Laurelyn.

I shake my head. "No one in particular. Just here to find a little company."

She smiles. "Me too. Maybe we can keep each other company."

Because I'm drunk, I have no reason to think I'm going to put this out there in an appealing manner. I don't know. Maybe I want to f**k it up so she'll blow me off. "I'm not your normal kind of company. I have very specific requirements for the women I date. The first of which is that I won't tell you my real name and I don't want to know yours. Honestly, I really only want to f**k and have a little fun for a few weeks and then I never want to see you again."

I wait for the slap or for her to get up and leave, but neither happens. "My, my. Aren't we a direct one?"

"I say what's on my mind because I don't have time for silly games." Isn't that what I told Laurelyn after she asked me if I was missing my filter?

"Okay."

What? Really? She's saying okay to that shit? "You're up for it?"

"Sure. You're hot and I need a distraction."

"A distraction from what?"

"The man I love." She glances down at her drink as she sloshes it around. "He doesn't feel the same. What's your deal?"

I won't talk about the one I love with another woman, especially not one I'm about to have meaningless sex with. Even I know that's not right.

"No deal. I'm just not into commitment or contact after I'm finished with a woman."

"I respect your honesty." She swallows the last of her girly drink. "You want to go upstairs?"

"That's why I'm here." I throw back my shot and get up from the stool. I'm a little unstable so she reaches out to steady me.

"You okay?"

I work to get myself straight so I don't blow this because it's what I need. It's what I have to do to get her out of my mind. "Yeah. I'm good. We don't have to stop for a room. I've already got one."

We ride the elevator to the third floor. I'm shocked I'm able to find the room because I'm so wasted. She has to take the keycard to open the door because I'm too uncoordinated to slide it in and pull it out. Let's hope that doesn't apply to my cock.

We go into the room together and I play tag with the walls before falling backward onto the bed. I close my eyes for what feels like a second and when I open them again, the nameless blond has stripped down to her knickers and bra and is straddling me.

She reaches behind to unfasten her bra and then takes my hands and puts them on her br**sts. They look good, but even drunk, I still know they're fake because they don't feel anything like Laurelyn's.

Damn! I can't even get her out of my head when I have two palms full of tits.

She leans down to kiss me and I turn my head so that her mouth lands on my jaw. She makes no haste in trailing kisses down my neck. I shut my eyes because I don't want to look at her.

She unbuttons my shirt and tells me to sit up so she can pull it off. I do as she says and then I fall back onto the bed again. Her hands slide up and down my chest. "I'm glad I stumbled upon you. You are super-hot."

Her mouth starts at my upper chest and makes its way down to my stomach. She tugs to open the button of my trousers and then pulls the zipper down. I'm drunk as f**k, but I somehow manage to get it up. "Well, well. It could be a happy birthday for me after all." She tugs until all my clothes are a rumpled memory on the floor. After she finishes, she pushes her knickers down and kicks them to where her dress is lying in a puddle.