Taylor laughed and cocked a brow. “I think you’re exaggerating a bit, Agent Baas.”
“Am I? Ask my sister,” he said with a soft chortle. “He’s not allowed in the kitchen.”
Toying with the end of her fork, she sniggered beneath her breath. “I can’t imagine telling either of you that you weren’t allowed to do something.”
He met her eyes with a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t advise it, darling. Not if you ever want to sit.”
“Do you think they will get married someday, too?” She watched conflict and a brief spark of sorrow flash across his chiseled features.
Sighing, Sebastian shrugged. “I would imagine so. If Marx allows it.”
“Would that be a bad thing?”
“No,” he stated softly. “Josh is good for her. It’s just the other things that come with it. This wasn’t the life I wanted for Monique. It’s too late for that now, though. Had I known the way things would go for us…” He trailed off, his lips flattening into a frustrated press. “Had I known a lot of things, I might have chosen a different path.”
“It’s never too late, Sebby.”
“Yes, Taylor. It is. Marx will never let me go. All I can do now is try to make the best of things. At the end of the day, that’s really all any of us can hope to do.”
Finishing the last bite of cucumber from her plate, she reclined against the back of the padded wrought iron seat and drew her knees up to her chest. Deep purples, pinks, and oranges already painted the sky in haphazard strokes. The vibrant colors kissed the woods and distant mountain peaks as the dying sun bathed the yard in a soft golden glow. Sighing, Taylor tried to savor the moment, but no matter how hard she tried to cling to the beauty in life, the somber pall of SKALS and all it entailed kept ripping it all away.
“If Marx allows it,” she repeated. Her chest seemed to collapse and still her heart as she pondered those words. Sebastian’s jaw twitched and he refused to meet her gaze. “These things have to…” Taylor shook her head, still trying to wrap her mind around it, afraid if she said the words, they might become true. “Marx has to approve of someone getting married?”
“He seems to think so lately, yes.”
Her mouth opened and closed. Forcing it shut she searched his face while her own grew numb. “He doesn’t approve of us, does he?” she asked, picking at the corner of her napkin.
“That doesn’t matter, Taylor.”
“Of course it matters, Sebastian!”
He plowed a hand through his hair. The other quickly followed suit and he tugged his curls in aggravation. Sebastian tipped his face skyward for a brief moment before he returned his attention to her.
“Marx has always had an issue with anyone being in my life. From day one, he’s strived to distance me from my own blood and he’s succeeded. Deep down, the bastard doesn’t even like my partnership with Josh. If he had his way, I would be completely alone, isolated from everything and everyone. SKALS would be my only focus in life.” His sage eyes hardened, steeling with ire and resolution. “I don’t give a damn what I have to do, I’m not giving you up. We are getting married, and someday we will have those kids you wanted. Nothing is going to keep me from having that life with you, Taylor. Nothing.”
She twisted the diamond and platinum band on her finger, wanting so much to believe those words. “I want that too,” she whispered. “I want us to be a family so bad. A real family. The kind I never had growing up.”
“We’re already a family, baby,” he said softly.
“I know. It’s just—I can’t help but think about my dad sometimes. Maybe he’s happy since he left, but he ruined everything. I didn’t just lose him. I lost my mother, too.”
“Listen to me. I will never leave you, Taylor. I swear to you, no matter what happens I will never abandon you. I will never give up and walk away. My life means nothing without you.”
“Til’ death do us part?”
His handsome face softened beneath a warm smile. “Even then, I will find a way to be with you, darling. It’s always going to be you and me, Taylor. Always.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby. Never doubt that.”
They cleared the table together. Once inside, she started rinsing the dishes while Sebastian put the food away. Despite the vast space, he kept finding reasons to brush against her, and it wasn’t long before he stationed himself behind her. Her eyes drifted shut with a brief bid of pleasure as he swept her hair to the side and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her body against his. Searing kisses branded her nape as she started the dishwasher and its quiet whir hummed through the kitchen.
Sebastian reached down and stroked the ring on her finger.
“So when do we make this official?” he murmured. “You haven’t even come up with a date. I don’t know much about weddings, but after watching my sister go through one, I believe there is a lot of planning and extravagance involved. It seems to me like you should have at least pinpointed something by now.”
Turning in his arms, she traced the slight indents in his cheeks. “None of that matters to me, Sebastian. I don’t need anything big and fancy.”
“I can afford to give you whatever you want. You might as well make it the wedding of your dreams. You’re only going to do this once. There will be no one else after me.”
“I know, but I don’t need it to be the affair of the century. I just want to be with you.”
Sebastian’s countenance darkened with his frown. “Are you trying to procrastinate and drag your feet?”
“No. I love you, and I can’t wait until the day we say I do. I swear.”
Lifting her hand, he pressed her fingertips against his lips for a long moment. His pale sage eyes probed hers as if searching for some deeply veiled truth she tried to keep hidden. They narrowed with a twitch. “What is it then? Something is bothering you, Taylor. What aren’t you telling me?”
A dull fire crawled across her cheeks in a silent testament of her shame. She tried to pull free, only to find his fingers locked around her jaw in an unrelenting grip.
“Answer me.”
Given no other choice, she met his stare head on and tried to force the words past the tightening lump in her throat. “I don’t have anyone left, Sebastian. I don’t have any family to invite. I…I don’t even have anyone to give me away.”
A pained wince flickered across his face as if he’d been struck. Pulling her closer, he kissed her forehead. “I know it’s not the same as having your father there, but I’m sure Josh would be more than happy to escort you down the aisle.”
“I figured he would be a little busy being your best man.”
Sebastian shrugged and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I don’t mind sharing. He’s versatile. I am sure he could do both with no problem.”
Taylor’s shoulders sagged. Shrugging, she nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I guess anything beats having to ask Marx to do it.”
Sebastian snorted but his handsome face was bereft of humor.
“Maybe I could ask Daryl,” she suggested. “He’s like a
brother and I know he wouldn’t mind as long as you were okay with it.”
“Whatever makes you happy, Taylor. Just pick a date and make it soon. I’m getting tired of waiting.”
“Yes, Sebastian.”
He released her and scowled at the file on the counter, his expression hardening in an instant. She stared at the manila folder with more than a twinge of annoyance. Part of her wanted to peek inside and see what had him so agitated, but she knew that kind of stupidity would get her hurt, if not killed. Once again, his mood and the distance brewing between them festered. Seeking distraction, she started furiously scrubbing the smooth, black granite counters.
“Stop,” Sebastian warned, snagging the dishtowel from her hands. “The house looks fine. Go relax and watch TV or something.”
“I’m tired of relaxing. That’s all I’ve done all day. I was looking forward to spending some time with you.”
One side of his mouth slanted in understanding as he tucked her hair behind her ears. “I know, baby. I want to spend time with you, too.” Nabbing the file off the counter, he cast a hesitant glance toward his study before raking his free hand through the unruly tumbles on his head. “Come on. We’ll order that horror movie you’ve been wanting to see.”
“What about work?” she asked, shooting a skeptical look at the folder in his hand. “It looks like a pretty big case load.”
Sebastian kissed her temple. “I can handle it, darling.”
A short while later, she sat nestled beneath his arm as they shared a blanket and a bowl of warm kettle corn. Every once in a while, he would reach over and idly thumb through a few pages of the documents sitting beside him. It wasn’t the ideal evening, but she had to give him credit for trying, even if his mind was a million miles away. It broke her heart to watch him struggle to process whatever he was reading.
Her frown deepened with his. It wasn’t like Sebastian to have to grapple with anything. He was usually so self-assured and confident, especially when it came to work. His mind was as sharp and lethal as a well-honed razor. That level of intelligence was something she’d always found as sexy as it was terrifying. Setting the bowl aside, she ran a questioning finger down his chest.