Professional Distance (Thorne and Dash 1)

So typical of Thorne, maneuvering to get what he wanted. “What about what I wanted?”

“It doesn’t matter what I say. You aren’t going to believe I was thinking of you, of the best way for you to make money for school, to have a job while you were still in school that didn’t involve working nights or seeing assholes like Collins.”

“Fuck Collins. I can handle myself, Thorne. I don’t need a sugar daddy.” Had Thorne always been this fucking infuriating?

“I wanted to offer you some security.”

“You wanted me to warm your bed,” Riley countered.

“I did, but it was because…because I…”

The panicked look on Thorne’s face made Riley feel a little bit sorry for him. “You still can’t say it, can you?”

“No, I’m still scared, but…” Thorne stroked his well-trimmed beard. “This isn’t the only change I’ve made.”

“Really?” Why did that surprise Riley more than anything else that had happened so far that night? Maybe because Thorne only did things his way.

“If you’d have dinner with me, or lunch—lunch is a nice, neutral, nondate-like meal—I’ll tell you. No pressure, no expectations. Just talking.”

“You mean this, don’t you? You really wanted us to be together for more than just sex.”

Thorne nodded. “I wanted you any way I could have you, but the best case scenario was that you would be my partner, that you would be with me because it was what you wanted rather than a job.”

“Why didn’t you say that?”

“I thought you’d laugh at me.”

Was he fucking kidding? “How could you not see how I felt about you? Every time I came to see you, I worried about how transparent I was. I might as well have put on a sign that said: I’ve fallen in love. I’m fragile. I’m dying inside because I want you and I can’t have you. Then I thought you were going to suggest exactly what I’d been hoping, that we drop the client/escort relationship and actually go out. When you asked me to work for you, it was like being punched.”

Thorne looked ill, his face pale, his eyes dull. “My God, Dash. I thought the same thing. That you’d see through me, that you’d realize I’d started thinking of you as my lover. I wish I could go back and redo everything. I was an arrogant ass, but I was desperate. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with other clients. It was selfish and stupid, okay? You’ve always enjoyed me admitting I was wrong. Well, you’ve been right about everything.”

Riley shook his head. “No, not even close.”

Thorne frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I should’ve told you how I felt. I almost did so many times. I wanted to keep seeing you, but as a lover, not as a client. I could never work up the courage to say it, though, because I didn’t think someone so successful, so—not old—but so far down the road from where I was, could ever want me on my own terms.”

Thorne ran a hand over his hair. He glanced away and then back. “I did want you. I…do. I want anything you’re willing to give.”

“So you would’ve said yes if I’d asked?”

Thorne nodded.

“But you said you hadn’t been on a date in years, that you thought sex was much better when it was paid for.”

Thorne groaned and leaned against the wall as if unable to hold himself up anymore. “I didn’t know you then. I couldn’t imagine a man worth the upheaval in my life, but you are that man. I know it might be too late. If so, just tell me, and I won’t bother you again. But if there’s any chance…”

Riley stared into Thorne’s eyes; there was pain there, but also hope, and it was infectious. “I…yeah, there’s a chance.”

“Where do we go from here? Your call.” Thorne’s soft smile lit up the shadowy entryway.

“You’re not planning to keep serenading me every night?” Riley asked, finally letting himself smile too.

Thorne laughed. “No, that was a one-time thing. I’m sure I looked quite ridiculous.”

Riley shook his head. “You looked romantic and forlorn. I don’t think anything else would’ve gotten me to listen to you. But the fact that you remembered…” Riley had to stop speaking when his voice broke. He took a breath, trying to recover his cool. “That was brave of you and…” He smiled. “Just fucking awesome.”

“Thanks.” Thorne was actually blushing, and it looked damn good on him. “So, lunch?”

“Yes, when?” Riley asked.

“Soon, but maybe not tomorrow.”

Riley frowned. “Why not?”

“It’s Friday. We need a new pattern.”

Riley grinned. “I wouldn’t have taken you for the superstitious type.”

“I was hurt too, Dash, even if it was my fault. I haven’t been sober on a Friday in a long time.”

Riley was stunned and slightly gratified.

Thorne continued. “I’m spending the weekend at the lake with my sister and her family so—”