“In what universe does making me sound like a whore equate to a good flirting tactic?”
“I’m not paying you for the sex. I’m paying you to keep me from falling off the wagon. Side bonus: you’re officially not allowed to hang out with Waitrose, so it’s not like you have any other options to choose from.”
She turned around, giving me the same sugary smile she used when she wanted to knee my bollocks and stitch my lips together with her sewing machine.
“Just out of curiosity, Alex, are you asking me to stay away from Lucas as my friend or my future fling?”
“I’m demanding this as your fucking boss. Never forget that, Indie.”
Another thing I knew would piss her off. Her door slammed in my face so hard the frame almost collapsed inward. I stared at it blankly, debating whether I should punch and kick it until she opened up or just take the spare card Blake kept, swipe it, and storm in. I wanted to threaten her, tear her apart, then pick her up and throw her onto the bed and make her see all that we were. But all my sorry arse ended up doing was plastering my forehead to her door, closing my eyes, and taking a deep breath.
Three.
Two.
One.
I glued my back to the door, the room coming into my vision in fragments behind the wall of unshed tears.
Three.
Two.
One.
I wanted to open the door and hurt him. To tell him he was a world-class asshole for doing this to me, for making me feel all these things. Even though he’d made it perfectly clear I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell at ever being with him the way I deserved. Because Alex Winslow didn’t do love. He only did hate. I wondered if he knew that. That he wasn’t capable of giving his precious Fallon half the things a person you love should be given. Security, unconditional support, and kindness.
I knew what I needed to do. I needed to march over to his room, knock on the door, and tell him to stop. Stop hitting on me, stop trying to make us happen, stop seducing me with his goddamn lips and lyrics and buckets of rugged charm. My lips throbbed from another kiss that had never happened, and I was irrationally angry at the world. Steam. I needed to get rid of it. Now.
With those things in mind, I turned around, about to swing my door open and give him a piece of my mind. That’s when I heard someone hammering on it from the other side.
Blinking, I pulled it open and peeked through the slit.
Alex stood there with red eyes and a mist of sweat covering his forehead, like not kicking down the door left him labored and sticky. He pushed the door the rest of the way open, silently walked in, cupped the side of my face, his thumbs on my cheeks, and kissed me.
Hard.
I stumbled back, off-guard and unprepared, but that only made him more aggressive in his kiss. I sucked in a desperate breath just as he darted his tongue out, stroking mine. Our tongues rolled together, hungry and vicious, in a wild dance without rhythm or pace. I moaned, and he groaned, sucking on my lower lip and digging his teeth into it on a warning bite. Do not disobey, the bite said in his English accent. Or you’ll be sorry.
Admittedly, I didn’t think. Not about how he’d managed to corner me deeper into my room in a lust-filled haze, and certainly not about the consequences. That’s why when he cupped both my ass cheeks and pushed me, my back slamming against the antique dresser, I let him. He bit my lip again, this time harder, and I winced. I wanted him to know I wasn’t surrendering to him—I was surrendering to my own needs. It was different. And selfish. And mine.
“I always wondered, you know.” His lips ghosted mine, wet and drenched with dirty intentions. “What it feels like when you do that, gnawing on that sexy, fat lip of yours.”
All I could do in response was sigh into his mouth. He tasted of the virgin lemonade he had after the show and the bitter bite of his last cigarette. Delicious in a hardened, unapologetic way. My fingers found the silk of his wavy, brown hair and I twisted it, my hips grinding against his abs. He grabbed the back of my thighs and brought them up to circle his waist, crashing his groin into mine. I clenched around nothing, desperate to feel him inside me, but knowing better than to unzip him.
He took my hair in his fist and pulled hard, forcing me to stare at his face. My scalp tingled, but he didn’t hurt me. Not too much.
It felt like I was dipped in cold fire and caressed by a thousand feathers. My whole body tingled, and I’d never felt so awake in my entire life. He laid me on the queen bed and hovered on top of me, much like he had earlier on the sofa, and it reminded me I’d already lost the battle. The one where I drew lines and lived comfortably within them. Because—and this was the really sad part—I’d already crossed so many limits when it came to Alex Winslow, and not one of those decisions was conscious.