“You can tell me,” I whispered.
“This is going to sound crazy to you, probably, but I followed him.”
She pressed a tattered piece of tissue to her nose. Parts of it snowed down to her lap.
“I’ve been following him around for a while—only when he’s alone. Never when he’s with you or with his family and friends. I’m so sorry. I know it’s wrong. But I’m worried. So worried. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I left my job—I’m a secretary in my father’s company—and I’ve been living in a hotel off the promenade for months now. Knight’s been drinking and popping pills every day. He is not okay. He needs help.”
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I knew Knight had been drinking heavily, but judging by what it had come to, I’d mistaken the severity of the issue. I’d chalked it up to stress from Rosie’s situation escalating. He’d always been eccentric and moody. He was a goddamn teenager, for fuck’s sake. Knight was also good at hiding his vulnerability behind his nonchalant smirk and herculean frame.
“So after you dropped him off at his house—God, I sound pathetic,” Dixie said.
“Please continue.”
To me, it didn’t sound crazy at all. He’d rejected her, but she couldn’t let go. I knew what that felt like, because the same thing had happened to me with Val, but in reverse. If I could’ve followed Val around the world like a lovesick puppy, I would have. If I could have prevented her death, her addiction, nothing would have stopped me.
“Well, after you left, a Mercedes pulled up at the Coles’. Two big guys with gold chains came out. Knight met them at the door. They talked for a minute; then they handed him a small paper bag. When the guys left, I waited for Knight to come out, but he never did. I started calling him. He didn’t answer, which wasn’t out of character for my so…for Knight,” she amended, shaking her head. “But I had a really bad feeling. Call it a mother’s intuition, although if he ever heard me say that, he’d laugh in my face.”
She threw her head back, staring at the ceiling. “The door was unlocked,” she explained. “And I…and I…”
She’d walked in.
This was El Dorado, on a cul-de-sac where everybody knew everybody. Of course the door wasn’t locked. Our parents only locked the doors at nighttime.
“It’s a gated community. How’d you get in?” I scrunched my nose.
“Someone put me on the list.”
“Who?” I pressed.
She looked away, shaking her head.
“I found him lying in a pool of his own vomit in the living room, unconscious. I called nine-one-one, flipped him over, and followed the ambulance with my car. It’s been forty minutes since he got to this room, and they’re not telling me anything. I’m scared for my baby.”
She clutched the tissue in her fist, pressing it to her heart. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if something happens to him.”
“You did the right thing.” I squeezed her thigh, trying to swallow and push the ball of emotion down my throat.
“Thank you, Moonshine. You’ve got such a pretty name. Very unique.”
Blinking at her for a beat, I proceeded to burst out laughing. In the hospital. In the middle of a double-Cole tragedy. Guess it’s true that human nature is programmed to fight. And laughter is the best medicine for almost every problem.
“Luna,” I corrected. “My name is Luna. Knight’s the only one who calls me Moonshine.”
She gave me a tired smile. “Despite everything, it’s nice to meet you, Luna.”
Two hours later, I sat in front of Knight, who lay in a hospital bed just a few hundred feet away from his dying mother.
I had spent those two hours making plans—plans I should have made a long time ago. Plans that ripped me open. Plans that had meant unplanning big portions of my life. For him.
Plans, I knew, that might leave me bitter with him in five, or ten, or twenty years.
Plans to cancel myself so I could help him.
When Knight opened his eyes, he closed them again as soon as I came into view. He put his big paws on his face, half-laughing and half-wincing.
“Shit.”
“Indeed.”
“I’ve really screwed it up this time, haven’t I?”
“Seems that way.”
“How’s Mom?”
I loved that he cared more about Rosie than himself. At his core, Knight was inherently unselfish.
“Same,” I said softly. “I just came back from checking on her. Everyone’s there.”
“Do they know about this?” He opened his eyes again, motioning with his finger to his hospital bed.
I shook my head, running my hand over his high cheekbone.
He took a deep, relieved breath and nodded. “What time is it?”
To grow up, Knight. To collect the pieces of your broken spirit and patch them up for your family. For yourself. For me.
“Ten at night. How are you feeling?”