Playing with Fire

“It would be my honor, Professor McGraw.”

“Ah, finally!” Her red lips twisted in a motherly smile that put a thorn in my heart. “And so the phoenix rises!”

An hour after my meeting with Professor McGraw, Cruz Finlay gathered the entire play’s cast in the rehearsal room at Lawrence Hall, making the official announcement. Lauren stood beside me, dissecting the threads of her scarf with a pout. Professor McGraw had assured me Lauren’s work thus far would go toward her overall semester score and that she would still pass, which was a relief. As much as I wanted this opportunity, I didn’t want to see Lauren fail.

“Shoot! That’s such bad news for your throat, Lo. So, I take it Blanche’s role is now up for the taking?” Tess shot Lauren—whom she’d actively tried to kill via voodoo dolls and death stares throughout the academic year—an apologetic smile.

“Actually, no.” Finlay rearranged the beret on his head. “Someone else has already got the role. Y’all, say hello to your new Blanche—Grace Shaw!”

People golf-clapped, glancing between Lauren and me for official permission to celebrate the announcement. I ducked my head, feeling my cheeks blush.

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, a little more enthusiasm, folks!” She hugged me, leaning forward to whisper in my ear, “You totes deserve it. I saw how passionate you were about this project from day one. I’m glad it’s you, Shaw.”

“Thank you.”

“Right on, Grace! Glad to have you on board.” Aiden, my co-star, gave my shoulder a squeeze.

Soon, people lined up to hug and congratulate me. Tess wasn’t one of them. I was hardly surprised. Even before the news broke about my role as Blanche, she hadn’t been happy about West and me.

West. I couldn’t wait to tell him about my role. He was going to be over the moon. Karlie too. And Grandma Savvy …

If she remembers who I am today.

“All right, I’ve got two back-to-back lectures and a wax appointment. See y’all at four o’clock. Be here and be queer!” Finlay finger-waved to his cast, swaggering up the stairs and out of sight. Everyone trickled out in clusters, chatting and laughing among themselves.

I lifted my head, coming face-to-face with Tess, who like me had stayed behind.

Her lips were pursed, her eyes clouded with anger. Disappointment marred her face with streaks of blotchy, red stains.

“Wow,” she breathed.

I smiled politely.

“Congratulations, I guess. Not sure where it is going to get you—it’s not like you’re about to win any Tony Awards with this … with this …”

“Face?” I completed the sentence for her gently. “So you keep remindin’ me. Let me give you a piece of advice, Tess. If you can’t change the outcome of somethin’, let it go.”

“I just think it’s so unfair. So … so selfish!” Tess threw her hands in the air, her shoulders slouched. “Historically speaking, the actress to play Blanche always soared and skyrocketed from obscurity. From off-Broadway shows to the West End, school plays, and even movies. Have you ever watched All about My Mother?” She slanted her head, throwing me a doubtful look. I couldn’t say that I had, so I offered her a shrug.

“That’s what I thought. The whole movie starts with the mother in the story. She is enamored with the actress who plays Blanche. Her love toward Blanche leads to terrible tragedy. Blanche is magic. Iconic. I was born to be her. And you …” She sucked in a breath. She buried her face in her palms, giving her head a desperate shake.

“You’ve already taken West. Look, I get it. You won. He’s yours. I don’t even care anymore. But you can’t take away Blanche, too. Please, Grace. This role can be it for me. It could open so many doors. For you, this is where it’s going to start … and end. You don’t even want to go onstage. Been avoiding it for as long as I’ve known you. You’ll never do anything with your acting career, and even if you wanted to, you have no chan …”

She looked away from me, knowing that she’d overstepped again. I knew the rest of the sentence. She began to pace the length of the room, her muscles long and tight.

“I’ll give you Stella’s role. I’ll hook you up with my agent. We could help each other! Yes!” She snapped her fingers together, beaming. “It’s going to be amazing. We’ll fix each other’s crowns. You know I’ve always been on your side.”

Did Tess really think just because she wasn’t actively mean to me, she’d been doing me a huge favor? I felt my fists clenching beside my body.

“No can do, Tess. In life, you have to let other people have their win. Failure builds you up or breaks you down. It’s your choice what to do with it.”

I uncurled my fists, tipping my chin up as I examined her beautiful, yet painfully vacant face.