Room for Two (Breakfast in Bed 2)

Unfortunately, he didn’t have much to offer. His brother shrugged his shoulders, appearing clueless. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro, I haven’t heard anything. Maybe it’s PMS. That stuff can be downright evil.”

“It’s not that.” Ash shook his head. “This has been going on too long. It’s not that she’s in a bad mood; it’s different. Things aren’t as spontaneous as they used to be.”

“That’s called a relationship,” Rhett sighed. “It’s like going to the grocery store and buying one thing, only to figure out after you get it home it’s completely something else. I call it false advertising. Like those damn stuffed bras. That should be illegal. You’re anticipating motorboating those big ones, then she takes the padding off and it’s a real mind-fuck. I seriously thought I brought the wrong woman home the last time. I actually argued with her for ten minutes over it. She finally showed me her driver’s license to prove it. Not that it really helped since I didn’t remember her name to start with.”

“You’re a total pig,” Dylan deadpanned. “Please tell me I was never that bad.”

“Let’s not even pretend that we weren’t,” Ash interjected. “It would be a tough call to figure out which one of us was the bigger prick. You’re trying to bury the memory before Zoe can quiz you in your sleep one night.”

Rhett took a sip of beer from the bottle in front of him before saying, “You and Zoe were best friends, so she already knows most of that and she married you anyway. Maybe she’s been sharing some of our greatest hits with Dana. That would be enough to make anyone run for the hills.”

“Dana’s not like that.” Ash rubbed at the knot in his neck. “She’s even bailed me out before with a crazy chick. She also doesn’t have a history of serious relationships. I swear, things were perfectly uncomplicated until recently. Now weirdly enough, I’d be happier if she was acting clingy because this aloofness is bizarre.”

“You think she wants to break things off?” Dylan sounded concerned. “She’s not the kind to mince words so she would walk if she wanted out. It must be something else. Have you offended her? You remember all of the shit you used to say. I’m surprised she didn’t cut your dick off the first opportunity she got.”

“Dude, yeah, that was downright mean. You never call a woman fat, and from what I hear, you tossed some version of that at her every day for months. She’s sure more forgiving than most. I’m with Dylan—I’d have been afraid to go to sleep with the family jewels exposed. What if she went all Lorena Bobbitt on your ass?” Rhett shuddered. “I once dated this chick that accused me of doing her sister. She threw every knife in my kitchen at me. I almost pissed my pants before she ran out of silverware.”

Dylan studied Rhett in amazement. “The question I want to ask is, why did you stand there while she tossed sharp objects? Also, were you guilty?”

“I couldn’t move because her sister was blocking the doorway, and yes, I had perhaps shared my love with her family. But in my defense, the sister was way hotter and she came on to me. I turned her down twice before I couldn’t hold out any longer.”

“I feel better about myself now,” Ash remarked dryly. “To think, it only took a few stories from you to accomplish it. You should teach self-help classes. Or more accurately, what-in-the-hell-to-never-do courses.”

“You have no right to get all high and mighty.” Rhett leveled him with a stare. “I know all about that one who sucked your armpit in public. It’s on YouTube, isn’t it? Oh, and the lovely young lady who pissed on your towels. Dude, where in the hell did you find them because I need to avoid those places.”

Dylan crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Rhett. “Didn’t you date someone who wrote her name all over your new BMW with pink paint? Seth bought you that personalized tag for Christmas that said ‘PINKCAR.’ What was it again that you did to flip her switch?”

“Slept with her mother,” Rhett mumbled. “But she looked really young for her age and she knew stuff that you guys wouldn’t believe. I swear, nothing was off limits with her, but when she shoved a finger up my ass, I had to end things.”

“Wait . . . what?” Ash gaped at him. “You let her do that to you? Like, voluntarily?”

“Hell no!” Rhett snapped. “She was going down on me, then before I knew what was happening, she’d invaded my sacred land. Doesn’t everyone with half a brain know there’s a strict no trespassing order in effect there? I had no idea that it needed to be spelled out or put in writing. I still can’t enjoy a blowjob without being paranoid.”

Dylan dropped his head in his hand. “I feel certain this is too much sharing even for brothers.”

“So what’s your shameful secret, bro?” Rhett asked. “Don’t even act like there’s not one because we’re Jacksons. We come by it naturally. I think it’s the main trait our father passed on to us.”

Dylan looked conflicted before he finally sighed. “If either of you mention this to my wife, I’ll kick your ass.” He lowered his voice and looked around before continuing. “I once let the girl I was dating talk me into a threesome with her best friend.”

Ash frowned at his brother. “That’s it? We’ve all done that. Big deal.”

“Her best friend’s name was Jack,” Dylan whispered.

“Holy shit,” Rhett yelled before yelping when Dylan punched his arm. “Can you keep your big mouth shut? I’d rather it not make the news tonight.”

“Bro, are you saying . . .” Ash wrinkled his nose up.

Dylan flushed. “No, I didn’t do that with him. We just did her at the same time. Still it was far more up close and personal than I’ve ever been with another penis.”

“So which end did you get?” Rhett joked, but appeared intrigued.

“None of your business,” Dylan mumbled. “This ends the sharing portion of the evening. Let’s save this for the next time Seth and Luke are in town.”

“Now that Seth’s married, he’ll be all prim and proper like you are,” Rhett pointed out. “But Luke is a different story. He says the women in St. Croix are up for anything. I’ve been meaning to get down there for a nice, long visit.”

“How’s he doing?” Ash asked, thinking of the rough time their brother had been through. He’d been in a bad car accident a few years back and had endured months of physical therapy to walk again. The wreck hadn’t been his fault, but Ash knew he’d had a hard time dealing with the fact that the other driver had died at the scene.

Rhett ran a hand through his hair as he studied Ash. “You know Luke. He’s pretty closed off about it. I believe he’s still struggling, but he won’t admit it. He also refuses to have surgery to minimize the scars on his face. I think he sees that as a punishment for being the one who walked away from the accident.”

“We should go see him soon,” Dylan added thoughtfully. “He’s down there all by himself. Whereas the rest of us see each other on a regular basis, he has no one. And what concerns me is that he wants it that way. Remember the last time we were all there for the renovations on the luxury suites and he made sure he was out of town the entire visit? For some reason, he only wants to deal with us via phone or Skype if he’s forced.”

“I’m worried too,” Ash admitted. “I’ve pondered showing up without warning to see what in the hell is going on. The resort is running well and turning a great profit, so he’s got it in hand. But I’m not sure the same can be said for him.”

“Let’s talk to Seth and get something in the works,” Dylan agreed. “This has gone on for long enough.”

“While we’re talking about family,” Rhett began, “what’s going on with Mom? Things are weird as hell. She’s actually talking back to Bart. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fucking awesome, but when did she grow a pair? She told Claudia the other day to stop with the whining, that it was getting on her last nerve. Can you remember her ever telling the princess that?”

Ash rais

ed a brow, impressed despite himself. He’d told Rhett all about their mother’s revelations concerning her marriage with their father and the reason she’d gone on to tie the knot with Bart. Things had been a little different at each family dinner since then. “The dynamic has shifted, I’ve noticed. Bart appears almost nervous around her now and tries to please her, which has always been her role with him. I can only hope that she’s finally come to her senses and is laying down the law. Hell, she hasn’t hit us up for money in a while either.”

Dylan raised his beer and drained it. “I, for one, hope it lasts. Family dinners might be tolerable if Bart and his horrible daughter were living elsewhere. Like another country.” It was almost midnight when they stood to leave. Rhett walked ahead while Ash followed Dylan. They were almost at the door before Dylan stopped and looked back. “I’ll see if I can find out anything about Dana from Zoe. It’s probably nothing though. Most of the time we never know what we did to piss them off, but luckily they eventually get over it.”

“Thanks, man,” Ash said gratefully.