“What does it feel like?” I asked. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, God, kitten. You have no idea,” he moaned in that husky voice, his hot breath spilling over the skin on the back of my neck. “You feel so fucking good.”
“More. Give me more,” I urged him on, knowing he was holding back for fear of hurting me. But I wanted him to get the full effect, and in truth, I sort of liked it. I knew I wouldn’t get off this first time, but that was okay, too.
Noah held me firmly in place as he rolled his hips, moving deeper still, faster.
“That’s it, baby,” I spurred him on. “Do what feels good to you. I want you to come so fucking hard.”
“Shit! I love it when you say naughty things to me,” he managed between heavy breaths.
That was all he needed to say. If he loved it, I was going to give him more of it.
“Noah, your massive cock is in my ass,” I moaned, wanting him to get the mental effect as well as the physical. “Oh, God, baby. You’re fucking me in my ass, owning me completely.”
That must have done it.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he growled through clenched teeth. “I can’t … stop. Oh, God. I’m gonna … Fuck, I’m gonna come, kitten.”
Noah thrust into me, his hips slapping against my ass and his hand clutching my hip so hard I knew there would be a bruise there by morning. He bit into the flesh on the back of my neck and growled out his release, furiously animalistic. All I could do was hold on, all the while grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I did that for him. I gave him what no one else ever had—or ever would again, if I had anything to say about it. And I’d do it a thousand more times. Because I could.
It hurt like a motherfucker. But the discomfort I experienced was worth it in the end, because it was a connection only he and I shared. I could feel how much pleasure it gave him, and I reveled in the fact that a man who seemingly was always in control wasn’t when it came to me. It was a freedom he deserved, and I always wanted him to feel like that.
I’d come to Noah a virgin in every sense of the word, physically and emotionally, and he had introduced me to a world of unspeakable pleasure. He might have paid two million dollars for me, but I owed him so much more than that for what he had given to me in return. I owed him my heart, my soul, my body—and they were all his.
“I love you so much, Noah Crawford.” My voice was barely a whisper. I reached around and caressed his bare ass with the palm of my hand. “Thank you.”
“I love you, too, Delaine Talbot,” he whispered back. I could feel his heart pounding against my back as his chest rose and fell with his labored breaths. “I can’t imagine ever sharing something so intimate with anyone but you. Thank you for trusting me.”
5: The Red Flower Blooms
Noah
Making love to Lanie was the easiest thing in the world to do, because I loved her with everything that I was, or ever would be. But bringing her pain for the sake of my pleasure was torture.
I had wanted it so badly. It was forbidden, and that made it all the more alluring. But when I’d entered her there for the first time and heard her suck in a sharp breath and felt her body stiffen … well, I’d expected it to hurt her at first, but I obviously hadn’t been fully prepared for just how much it would, and I couldn’t do that to her. I had every intention of calling the whole thing off, but then she practically begged me to keep going. It was her plea for me to let her have that moment, that first with me, my first, even though she was receiving nothing but pain in return, that cinched the deal and made me continue on despite my reservations.
I would’ve given her anything she asked for. I would’ve snatched the moon out of the night sky and laid it at her delicate feet, gathered the universe up into a neat little ball and placed it in her tiny hands—anything she wanted. Because she deserved so much more than that, and I would sacrifice my entire life to make sure she fucking had it all.
But I’d never be able to make up for treating her like a whore, for treating her like she was nothing more than a piece of ass that was solely there to satisfy my cravings for pussy, for treating her like she was no more than another toy I’d acquired, a piece of property. For stealing her innocence. How were we ever going to make it when our relationship was born out of the fucking bowels of impure intentions to begin with?
I had to have faith we would, because if what we had was wrong, then I didn’t want to be right. Yeah, it was a corny line, but the words rang undeniably true. See? I was turning into a total bitch for her, pussy-whipped to the extreme.
Let me prove my point …
During the actual deed, I was a nervous wreck. My body shook both from my fear of hurting Lanie and from having to hold back and not plow into her. It felt that good. Not that her pussy didn’t; it was experiencing the forbidden dance with her that was such a turn-on. You only share something like that with someone you trust, someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, someone with whom you have a sacred motherfucking bond.
What I had walked in on between Julie and David hadn’t been anything like the intimacy of the moment Lanie and I had just experienced together. That was nothing more than two whoremongers fucking for the sake of fucking, for the sake of gutting me and leaving me to bleed out onto the floor. They could search the rest of their pathetic lives and never come close to finding what I had with my Lanie. My Lanie.
We needed it, that level of intimacy, before our separation. And although I knew I needed to remain strong for her, it was killing me on the inside to know she wouldn’t be there when I returned home in the evenings, that she wouldn’t be lying next to me naked in my bed every night, that I wouldn’t see that look in her eyes on a daily basis. That look that said more than a thousand words ever could. That look that said I was her world, just like she was mine. Lips were capable of saying anything, but the eyes never lied. And what I saw there reflected what I felt in every fiber of my being. She loved me. She really loved me. Not my money, not my status. Me. And come hell or high water, I was going to make it fucking work. Somehow.
Delaine moved her ass against me, reminding me that my dick was still inside her, flaccid but becoming more aroused the longer it remained in place, and if she kept moving like that, it was going to be harder and harder to make myself pull out of her. Although I would definitely love to have another round, I knew she was already going to be sore, and I didn’t want to take advantage of her need to give me even more of herself. Her presence in my life was enough, and it was time for me to give her something in return. So before my dick became too engorged and hurt her even more, I pulled out … hoping that the quick movement would make it more bearable.