Tap (Men of Lovibond 1)

“That’s heartbreaking.”

“The doctor told us any children we conceived together had an increased risk of developing the same disorder.”

“So it’s genetic?”

“From what I understand, we both carry the gene for renal agenesis. It usually presents with one kidney missing, which is okay. People can live with one. But because Bridgette and I both carry the gene, our son inherited the bilateral version. Both were missing.”

That must have been terrible to lose a child and then be told any others they had would likely suffer the same fate. “That’s a tough thing to hear at any age.”

“There we were . . . nineteen and stuck. And no baby, the only glue holding us together. We talked about trying to make our marriage real but that required sex. Even if I could have looked at her as anything other than a sister, neither of us were willing to risk another pregnancy, birth control or not.”

Shit. I guess that means they never had sex with each other again. But they were married. Did they just go without or screw around on each other? I’m surprised by the sickening feeling in my stomach when I think of Lucas taking a lover.

“How long were you married?”

“Six years by the time our divorce was final. But I guess we were about three years in when we agreed to an open marriage.”

Fuck. An open marriage? “You were married six years and dating during three of them?”

“No. I stopped wearing my wedding band after we made the decision to see other people but it took me a year to ease into the idea. We might not have been in love but she was still my wife. Having a relationship outside the boundaries of our marriage felt . . . wrong.” Knowing he didn’t jump at the first chance to fuck around just earned him a few points in my book.

“Why not divorce? It makes so much more sense.”

“I think it’s something we both thought we’d pursue once we were in a better place. But Eli’s death caused Bridgette to have severe depression. It was a year before she even resembled the person she once was. I was afraid of causing a setback if I asked for a divorce. So I adjusted to the idea of being married but not a couple.”

This doesn’t make sense to me. “She became well enough to suggest you have an open marriage but not divorce?”

“We decided it made better financial sense to stay together a couple more years. We had every intention of ending the marriage after we graduated from college and got on our feet.”

I was once a young adult on my own for the first time. I understand how having someone to absorb half the expenses would be beneficial.

“Bridg and I actually had an appointment with a divorce lawyer when my grandfather passed away, and I inherited his business.”

“Another delay.”

“We refer to our marriage as a series of unfortunate events.” It does seem fate was trying to force them to stay together. “But I’m happy I had Bridgette by my side. She was my rock when I stepped into my grandfather’s role at the company.”

Until she became Warren’s rock. “Bridgette and Warren never had a thing for each other before they worked together?”

“Warren was my best friend from Louisiana, but we kept up after I moved. They didn’t know each other until he came to work for me.” I noticed Warren had a Cajun twang but not like Lucas. Or maybe I noticed his more because he’s so damn sexy.

“They met and the sparks flew?”

A smile spreads as he chews. “Something like that.”

I think I would feel like I’d lost some of the best years of my life if I were married to a man I didn’t love.

“I’ve seen that look before.”

“What look would that be?”

“Confusion.”

He’s reading me like a book. He’s right, though. I am highly confused by the things he’s told me. “I can’t deny I’m bewildered by the decisions you made.”

“I know it’s difficult to understand. It must sound ridiculous when you hear the story of those six years over a five-minute span. But it’s like a car accident when you try to recall the way things happened. It played out so fast I can hardly remember it now. Hell, the whole thing doesn’t even make sense to me as I sit here telling you. One thing’s for sure. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. Lessons were learned. I would do things much differently if I had it to do over again.”

Being so engrossed in his story, I haven’t eaten a bite of my dinner, so I cut a slit down the middle of my sweet potato. “I thought I was the nonconformist but I believe you’ve beat me out of that title.”

He watches me dress my potato with fresh, organic butter and brown sugar. “I bet you’re still plenty unconventional.”

“I don’t know about that. I’m feeling a little inferior next to you.”

“Tell me about Wren Thorn. I bet she has plenty of interesting facets to her life.” Wren. It was adorable when Ava said it, and strangely enough, it sounds right coming from Lucas. Weird.

Lucas has been so open about his personal life. I feel like I owe him the same in return, but I have no idea where to begin. “What do you want to know about me?”

“Ever been married?”

“No.” I tell everyone I’m content with single life but that’s not the whole truth. I’d love to start a family.

“Ever been in love?”

I was never a dreamy teenage girl who fancied herself in love with every boy she met. “Not that I’m aware.”

“Me either. But I know you’ve been in lust at some point.”

“Not really.” I sound like a total prude.

“Come on. You’ve never been with a man you wanted so badly you thought you’d go crazy if you didn’t have him right then and there?”

“I’m not like that.” What does that even mean?

“Not like what? Sexual?” His eyes roam from my face down my body and he licks his lips. Shit. “I find that impossible to believe.”

“I don’t mean I’m not sexual or I don’t like sex. I just don’t need a man to feel fulfilled.” But I think that would change with the right one.

“Maybe not but you need one to be filled.” He laughs huskily.

“Well, not exactly.” I guess that can be taken more than one way.

“Oh. You prefer women?”

I can see where he might have gathered that. “No, I’m attracted to men. What I mean is that I don’t need a man to feel whole. I’m happy being single . . . until I’m not.” I want to be married, but at the same time, I have no intention of wasting my time with a man who isn’t my future.

“You’re an asexual?” I’m not being very clear here.

“I’m very open to falling in love. I would jump headfirst for the right man if he came along. But he hasn’t. I’m not half a person looking for someone to complete me. I’m whole on my own.” It took years of therapy to recognize my self-worth. “I have friends, a wonderful family, and a successful business.”

Lucas pops a French fry into his mouth. “Right. You told me you were a business owner. Tell me about it.” Good. Thank goodness we’re abandoning the relationship issue.

“It’s a retail shop called Law’s Attraction Boutique. Named for the law of attraction and because my friend’s call me Law.”

“Clever name.”

I wonder if he even knows wh

at the law of attraction is. Or anything about the type person I am. “Has Ollie told you much about me?”

“A little.” Figures. Ollie isn’t known for spilling much.

“I’m not exactly your typical kind of girl.”

Lucas laughs. “No, you’re definitely not. And it’s one of the things I like about you.” He likes that about me? I believe Mr. Broussard is back to flirting.

“Have you ever been to River Street?”

“Never even been to Savannah.”

“That’s a shame. My hometown is beautiful. You have to come when you have the chance. Consider this your official invitation.” Did I just invite Lucas Broussard to come to my town? Yes, I did.

“I hear it’s a beautiful city.”

“It is and I love it. My shop faces the Savannah River. Best view in the city if you ask me.”

“Sounds much better than the one we have of the parking lot at the brewery.” Yeah. That would be depressing.

“Tell me more about your boutique.”

“I sell a wide variety of things. Of course there’s the usual stuff like clothing, jewelry, bags, and aromatherapy supplies.”

“And then there’s stuff people don’t consider usual?” I think Ollie may have told him more than he lets on.

“Essential oils. Healing crystals. Herbs for herbalism. I’m fascinated by holistic healing. But that doesn’t mean I think one shouldn’t seek medical attention if needed. I’m not a quack. Nor am I into witchcraft.” Might as well put it out there now.

“Why would anyone think you’re a witch?”

“Many of the items I carry in the store are used in spells. Some people think that means I practice witchcraft or voodoo. All idiots. I guess it’s more interesting to say I sell rose oil for love spells rather than for its all natural medicinal properties.”

“I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff.”

Most people don’t. “It’s intriguing.”

“Give me an example.”

“Okay. I used to have trouble sleeping. A few drops of lavender oil on my pillow fixed that. I sleep like a baby, and I’m energized when I wake. A few drops in my cleanser help my skin stay clear and healthy. Peppermint oil is great for congestion, nausea, and headaches. That’s just a few uses. There’re so many I could go on and on.”