Sebastian placed an ancient book on the couch next to me and opened it, pointing out an illustration. “Curry, look at this. Do you know who this is?”
It was an image of a man with wings in the shape of a butterfly, yet feathered like a bird and his wings spurred my realization that butterflies had always been present in pivotal times of my existence for the last 21 years.
“No. I don’t know who he is. I’ve never seen him before.”
“This is Anteros, the Greek god of requited love. He was one of the ever-youthful winged gods of love and we believe he is responsible for the creation of the agápe.” Sebastian turned the page and pointed to another illustration. This drawing was the same winged man, embracing a lovely woman and he continued, “Anteros was in love with a mortal woman, and as you know, the life of a mortal is only temporary. He couldn’t bare to face life without his beloved, so he struck a deal with Nosophoros. He asked her to spread her plaque to his mortal love with her bite, releasing the plaque into her bloodstream and giving her immortality and in return, Anteros created a supernatural beloved, an agápe, for Nosophoros.”
“If Chansey is my agápe, what does this mean for us?”
Sebastian answered, “Agápes are ancient and extremely rare. Legend states there have been few throughout history and I have only known of one in my 400 years as a vampire. An agápe is human and subject to death as any other human, but she is no ordinary girl. She is her parents’ child genetically, but she is also a supernatural occurrence, chosen by Anteros before she was conceived, and his blood also courses through her veins. He chose her family especially to raise her and nurture her ability to love you unconditionally.”
“How he chooses whom receives an agápe is a mystery, but the chosen vampire is impassioned by her beauty and filled with consuming love for her. The highest and purest form of love fills the soul of the agápe, resulting in a divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing love between the two. She is named agápe because their love and relationship is patterned after Christ’s love for man. She is his blessing and he will choose death to save her or spare her pain.”
“How do I know she is an agápe?” I asked.
“She is marked with the sign of Anteros, a butterfly, but it won’t be a flashing sign on her forehead. It is subtle, yet the sign will find a way of revealing itself to you and Chansey will likely be unaware when it happens,” Sebastian explained.
“What about all the physical changes I have undergone?”
Sebastian continued, “Because you would never harm your agápe, your sacred and incomparable love for her has partially returned your humanity, preventing you from craving her blood. She has already proven she is your agápe by captivating you with her “Scent of Anteros.” It replaces your normal instinct to desire her blood with a different physical desire for her. Her instincts have prevented her from taking a mate because you will always remain faithful to one another, experience pain when you are apart, and relief when you are together. You are now part of her, as she is part of you.”
“Does she know she is my agápe?” I asked.
“She suspects she is different and likely suspects you are, as well. She should feel like she has spent her life waiting for someone, but has never been able to identify who it is.”
“You said she was my gift, but you also called her my curse.”
”Anteros didn’t have the ability to create immortality, only requited love, so you will face a difficult decision. You are an immortal with a mortal beloved, which poses a problem. Your first option is spend many happy years with her, love her unconditionally, watch her age and eventually die then be left to mourn her the rest of your infinite days.”
It was a cruel prognosis I didn’t care for. “So, what is my other option?”
Sebastian didn’t speak. It was Solomon that spoke up to say, “Kill her and turn her into what you hate most, a vampire.”
I shook my head. “No! Never! I would live in agony before I did this to her. You don’t do this to someone you love!” I regretted the words the moment I heard them leave my mouth. I sounded inconsiderate and judgmental. “I’m so sorry, Sol. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
Solomon replied, “This is a totally different situation and you can’t make a decision based on my mistake with Lisette. She could be turned safely and successfully.”
I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing myself as a monster in her eyes. “What if she hated me for what I am.”
Sebastian interjected, “You don’t have to hide from her because she will not be frightened by what you are. She was born to embrace who you are.”
Solomon added, “I know you don’t want to talk about her, but I think it’s wise to consider Marsala because she could be a problem.”
Of course, she would be a problem. She was always a problem and I was afraid to know the answer, but I asked, “How so?”
“Vampire legend states that an agápe turned vampire is supremely powerful. Vampires are made from normal humans and an agápe doesn’t start as a mere human, she is a supernatural occurrence with the blood of Anteros coursing through her. Not only will Marsala be jealous of your incredible love for her, but she will fear the potential power placed in Chansey’s hands. She will expect you to turn her and use her strength as a tool against her, so she will order her execution. Chansey will be difficult to protect if Marsala discovers her existence.”
I felt like I might be ill. “She already knows of her existence.”
“How could she know?”
I stared ahead blankly and said, “It happened the day of the eclipse. Marsala told me I was stupid fool because I hadn’t realized it yet, but she had arrived and I didn’t know who she was. Marsala swore I would never have her and she threatened to serve her heart to me on a platter and make me enjoy eating it. I thought she was mad, and talking out of her mind, but even then, she knew.”
My mind began to think of ways to protect Chansey. “You said that Chansey is my gift, so a gift may be declined. Can I decline her love, if it ensures her safety?”
Sebastian appeared disturbed by my question. “No. You mustn’t refuse a gift of Anteros. He isn’t only the god of requited love, he is also god of unrequited love and he punishes those who refuse to return requited love.” Sebastian sensed the turmoil in my heart and said, “I thought you would be pleased to hear this news.”
I threw my hands into the air. “I can’t be the reason Chansey spends everyday of her life in danger. I won’t do that to her.”
I sensed Sebastian understood my anguish. “She is your intended. You will love her, because you can’t not love her. You will protect her, because you can’t not protect her and you’ll do it because it is what you must do.”
Sebastian and Solomon gave me a great deal of information in a little amount of time and it was happening so quickly, I needed time to absorb it. “I’m going to step out for a while because I have plenty of thinking to do.”
I decided a walk on the beach might do me some good, so I walked in that direction. I sat on the cool sand and listened to the tide rolling in from the sea, but it offered no counsel.
I weighed my options. Staying meant she would inevitably learn what was intended for us and I didn’t know if I could walk away once she knew. Loving me condemned her to spending the rest of her life in danger and although it could be years before Marsala found us, she would definitely come for her. Without doubt, she would order her execution. Marsala was powerful. It would be a constant battle to keep Chansey safe and I only had to fail once to lose her forever.
Leaving before she learned the truth ensured her safety, but guaranteed my misery, so Marsala won again. Chansey would have an opportunity at a safe and happy life without my presence. I would spend the rest of her life protecting her, standing just out of site, but close enough if she needed me. I would be denied of her love, her touch and I would never hold her, or tell her how much I loved her, but it’s what I would do to keep her safe. I refused to tu
rn her into what I was, or place her in danger, so my decision was made. I could take what ever punishment Anteros dished out if it meant keeping her safe.
I entered my apartment where Solomon and Sebastian anxiously awaited my return and the tension in the air was thick as I announced, “I have made a decision and I ask that you, please, hear me out before you say anything. Marsala vowed to kill Chansey the day she was born and she hunts her, even today. Over the years, she has been hunting for a needle in a haystack, but things are different now. If Chansey and I are together, she will be easier to find and Marsala will use any means necessary to find us. I am the link between Chansey and the monster planning to kill her. Marsala would gladly kill her loved ones, just to hurt her, and I couldn’t stand to look in her eyes and see her blame me.”
Sebastian interjected, “I don’t like the direction this conversation is going. Do you remember what I told you about how Anteros punishes those who won’t return requited love?”
“I do and that’s why I have decided to leave before Chansey knows who she is. It is the only way she will be safe from Marsala and escape the punishment of Anteros. I will stay close enough to protect her, just out of sight. Please try to understand. Chansey isn’t the only one I must protect because her friends and family are at risk, also.”
Sebastian didn’t agree with my decision, but I was okay with that. He didn’t have to agree with it, but he did continue his quest to change my mind. “I don’t want you to look back on this decision with regret, so take a few days to think it over. Remember, son, love is powerful and it conquers all. You should give it a chance to be the vanquisher.”
“It’ foolish to wait because the longer I’m here, the longer Chansey has to discover the connection between us and every minute I spend with her puts her in more danger. I love her too much to endanger her any further,” I pleaded, knowing they would never agree with my view of the situation.
Solomon said, “So, after all of this, you’re going to give her up that easy?”
“You think this is easy? This is not easy! I don’t have a choice!” I shouted.
“We all have choices. They might not be the options we want, but we all have choices,” Solomon said, so certain, his opinion was the right one.
“And look where your choice got you, Solomon. Lisette died. You could have had some great years with her, but you killed her trying to keep her forever, so you really aren’t the one to argue this point with me.”
In a flash, Solomon was across the room. His fist slammed into my jaw and I heard the crash of being sent flying into the basement wall. He reached for my head, putting me into a head lock and began pounding my face with his fist. I didn’t try to stop his attack because I knew I had gone too far, and in this moment, I hated myself more than he did.
“ENOUGH!” Sebastian growled deeply from his chest, stopping both of us instantly. “Do you foolishly forget we are among humans?”