“Sterling can drive you to a bigger supermarket.”
“I bought enough for a few days. Maybe he can take me toward the end of the week if we run low.”
She’s unloading the bags so I help. “I was thinking about something today. Would you consider staying in Edinburgh once you’ve settled your aunt’s estate?”
“Hmm … let me think about this one. I don’t work. I get to do what I want all day and then have great sex every night. Living the life of a claimed woman is tough stuff.” She laughs. She closes the cabinet and looks at me. “Oh. You’re not kidding.”
“I’m very serious.”
She leans against the countertop and crosses her arms. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve considered.”
“What if I told you I want you to stay?” I ask.
“I’d be taken by surprise.”
“But you wouldn’t say no?”
“It’s something I’d have to think about. I have a family to consider. And a business with a lot of financial responsibility tied up in it.”
I go to her and hold her face in my hands. “Think about it. For me.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’ll take care of you. That includes any debt you’ve incurred in your business.” She opens her mouth to speak. I suspect she’s going to argue so I place my finger over her lips. “Nothing would change. You’d still do as you please each day. And I’d do as I please each night.” She grins at the last part. “But babies and brides need to be photographed in Edinburgh as well. Bleu Mac’s Photography would fit in quite well if you wanted to work.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Perfect. Are you getting closer to finalizing the estate?” I could’ve assisted her and had the proper paperwork done a week ago, but I didn’t want to speed the process.
“Yes. Maybe another week.”
“Then you don’t have long to sort out what you want to do.”
“No, seven days isn’t long when you’re considering a decision like this. But even if I decide to stay, I can only visit a total of six months on a passport and visa.”
“I want as many days as possible with you.” I sweep a stray hair from her face. “I can think of nothing worse than having an ocean between us,” I say.
“The last few weeks have been the best of my life.” She presses her palm to my face. “Is this that thing people call happiness?”
“I think it could be.” But if it’s not, I believe this is the closest I’ll ever get.
* * *
I leave Bleu in bed every morning when I get up for work but today is different. She’s up and I’m surprised when she comes into the shower with me. “Why are you awake so early?”
“I have something to do today.” I don’t recall her mentioning plans. I guess something with the estate fell through. Good. I want to keep her here as long as possible. It’s a reminder her days with me could be winding down.
Unless there’s a problem with selling the flat, she’ll no longer have it to deal with after next Friday. That’s when she’ll have a decision to make—pack her remaining things to bring here or ship them to the US.
“Did something go wrong with the flat’s buyer?”
“No. Everything is fine with the sale,” she says. “I’m meeting your mother in an hour. We’re going shopping together.”
Surely, I didn’t understand her correctly. “You’re doing what with whom?”
“You heard me.”
“How did this come about?”
“I decided I should make an effort to bond with her since I’m going to be living with her son for an indefinite amount of time.”
“That’s a clever way to tell me you’ve decided to stay.”
“I thought so.”
“You hadn’t mentioned it since I asked, so I was expecting you to leave next week.”
“I get this ache in my chest every time I think about leaving. The closer next week comes, the worse the pain gets.”
“You don’t know how happy you’ve made me, Bonny Bleu.” I don’t have the words to tell her. But I can show her.
Chapter Fifteen
Bleu MacAllister
My reason for shopping with Isobel today is twofold. I want to know more about what makes Sin tick, but I’d also like to get close to her. If she’s my friend and confidante, I’ll be invited into her home—the one she shares with Thane. That is where I plan to kill him and make it look as though an adversary is responsible.
I’m not stupid. I know I’m being surveyed and analyzed but it’s because I’m a suspected informant. They have no idea I am the actual adversary. Even after Thane is dead, they still won’t know. That’s why I’ve had no qualms about using my real name. They’re idiots, giving too little credit to women and their capabilities, so I’ll never be suspected as a skilled assassin.
“What about this one?” I run my hand over the soft pewter comforter. “It’s not a feminine color but the detail and embellishments on the throws make up for that. I think it would be beautiful against the wall color.”
“What color ‘tis that?”
“Soft blue.” I see a comforter almost identical to his walls so I point it out. “Very similar to this except a wee more on the steel-blue side.”
“I agree. The platinum set would be lovely.”
“I think so too.” I catch the attention of the sales clerk. “I’ll take this one in a king. I want it just as it’s displayed with all the throws.” I remember the sheets ruined on the first night I spent with Sin. “And add an extra set of linens.”
Isobel and I stroll through the home department while we wait for the sales associate to return with my purchase. “Has Sin told you how I came to be married to Thane?”
Isobel’s accent is much stronger than Sin’s. I’m not sure why. I sometimes have difficulty making out some of her words.
“He said his grandfathers arranged your marriage for a stronger Fellowship.”
“Tis true. I was born into this role. I didn’t have a choice, but you are free to choose any man in the world.”
I’m not sure where she’s going with this. I say nothing.
“My son is cut from the same cloth as his father. Thane took him from me when he was a bairn, so I was unable to have a say in molding him into the man he is today. I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said like father, like son. They’re both monsters.”
She’s right about one of them. “Sin is not a monster.” I’m angry so I begin walking away but stop and turn back to look at her. Without thinking, I point my finger at her. “Never say that to me again.”
She smiles, as though she likes my reaction. Was she testing me? “Ye already have feelings for him. Are ye in love?”
“I think I could find it very easy to be.” It grows easier every day.
“Do ye think he’s in love with ye?”
I’m not sure Sin is capable of such things. “I don’t think so.”
“He will be. But there’s something ye should know about being with a Fellowship leader. Being in love is a double-edged sword for my son. Whoever hears him say ‘I love ye’ is condemned. Loving ye will make him vulnerable and he’ll come to despise ye for that reason.”
Is that what happened between my mother and Thane? He loved her but she became his weakness so he killed her? I don’t believe that’s it. He could’ve walked away so much easier.
I finish my purchase and we’re returning to Isobel’s car. “I like ye, Bleu. That’s why I feel prompted tae warn ye. I wasn’t trying tae be cruel or vindictive toward ma son. I love him verra much.” Sin doesn’t know that.
“I think you’d be surprised to learn how much he’s told me.”
“Fallin’ in love with Sin ‘tis a mistake because ye don’t understand about oor world. Once ye come tae know oor ways, it’ll be too late tae get oot.” She hesitates before getting into the car. “I’d really like us tae be friends—but I dinnae think we can be if I bring this up again—so I won’t. I’ll keep ma gob shut. Does that so
und fair?”
“Yes, thank you. I’d appreciate that.”
* * *
I enjoyed my day with Isobel. She turned out to be a fun lady when she wasn’t trying to convince me I shouldn’t be with Sin. Her heart was in the right place, so I have to give her props for looking out for my best interests. And I think the impasse means she won’t lecture me anymore.
I beat Sin home so I go into the master bedroom to change the bedding. I want him to be surprised when he sees how inviting it is. I’m almost positive he’ll like it. Regardless, I’m certain he’ll enjoy breaking it in. As will I.
We may not be in love but we are most certainly in lust. Sometimes it feels like we can’t get enough of one another. Being with him is crazy good. I never imagined I could want someone so much. I wonder if it’s like this for everyone. It can’t be. People would never leave their houses if it was.
Playing the part of Sin’s lover isn’t a bad way to bide my time until I’m able to get close enough to kill Thane. But I must never forget the mission. I may need a reminder from time to time so I don’t lose focus.
Sin texted earlier and said he’d be home by ten, so I shower and shave my legs twice. I apply my favorite body lotion and then put on the new black silk nightgown and matching robe I purchased today.
It’s nine forty-five when I stretch across our new bedding to wait for him. Ten comes and no Sin. By eleven, I’m annoyed. By midnight, I’m worried, so I text. No response. I consider calling but I’m sure he’s tending to Fellowship business. I don’t wish to irritate him or look like the bothersome girlfriend.
I bet Lorna knows if something is going on. You hear a lot working in a bar full of Fellowship members.