“I promised you I would do everything I could to make you happy. I meant that.”
“And you do. Every single day.”
Chapter Eighteen
Sinclair Breckenridge
House buying. Castle tour. Village shopping. Interior design. It was fun while it lasted but my game of distractions has come to an end. Three days of waiting have come and gone. Time for the truth.
Bleu and I go into our bedroom since it’s the only place we have complete privacy. We sit side by side on our bed. She clutches the manila envelope containing her paternity results but makes no move to open it.
“You aren’t obligated to read the results. If you don’t feel ready, you can put it away until a later time. If you never feel ready, that’s fine too. Understand that reading it right now isn’t your only choice.”
“I don’t think I can deprive myself of the relief I’ll feel if it proves I’m not his daughter.”
She’s assuming Todd isn’t her father. “That might not be what it says. What then?”
“You know me. I can handle anything as long as it’s the truth.” That’s proven true so far but this is a completely different circumstance. I’m afraid for Bleu but I must support her decision. That’s my job as her husband.
She takes a deep breath and opens the flap, pulling out the test results. She passes it to me without a glance. “Please read it for me. I can’t do it.”
One doesn’t simply glance at paternity test results for a quick answer. There isn’t a yes or no box. It’s complicated but after a moment, I decipher the verdict. Conclusion: cannot be excluded. Paternity probability is ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent. Todd Cockburn is her father.
“You aren’t saying anything. That can’t be good.”
I fold the results and place it on the bed. “He’s your biological father.”
Bleu nods and stares straight ahead at the wall. “Okay. The only thing this changes is what I’ll say before I kill him.”
We’ve had this argument before so here’s the same song, second verse. “We’ve talked about this, Bonny.”
“You said you didn’t want me putting myself in danger. Todd’s contained. He won’t be a threat to me. Firing a weapon doesn’t put me or the babies in danger.” That’s her opinion.
“Physically, no. But you don’t fully understand the impact a premeditated murder can have on your mental status. Now it’s further complicated by the fact that he’s your biological father.” There’s no way that won’t wreak havoc on her emotionally.
“It’s not a complication. It’s an unfortunate detail.”
“One you’ve not yet had time to process.”
“What is there to process? He knocked my mom up. She ran from him and gave birth to me. He killed her and tried to kill me. I think I’ve processed it all quite well.” I wish it were that simple.
What I’m about to tell her is going to cause problems. “I can’t let you do it.”
“You won’t let me? What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
“Who do you intend to have do it, then?”
“Me.”
“You know what this means to me. It’s my one last sin. I’ve spent eighteen years searching for this man. I’ve devoted my life to it. It’s all I’ve lived and breathed since I was seven years old. Seven! My entire childhood and adult life has revolved around this and now you tell me you’re going to take it from me.”
“Please try to understand where I’m coming from.”
She shakes her head.
“Bonny.”
I move toward her but she puts her hands up. “No.”
She’s furious. She needs to cool down before we discuss this further.
I gather my laptop and case files from the corner chair, putting them into my briefcase. “I’ll be at the office if you need anything.”
No reply.
“Love you, Bonny.”
She responds by going into the bathroom and slamming the door.
“See you tonight.”
* * *
This situation is already turning my wife into someone she’s not. Bleu is always mature and rational, more so than any other woman I’ve known. The person I just argued with was not.
I arrive at BI but it’s not my office I go to first; it’s my father’s. I tap on his door. “Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.”
“I need to update you about some new findings.”
He places his pen on his desk. “Sounds serious.”
“Bleu is Todd Cockburn’s daughter.”
My dad motions for me to shut the door. “I assume she isn’t taking that well.”
“Her only reaction is that she wants to be the one to kill him.”
“She’ll need to take a number because she’s not the only one. I’m not sure how I’ve kept from going over to the black site and blowing his head off his shoulders.”
My father did not take well to finding out that Todd had killed Amanda Lawrence, but learning about Cara is what broke him and Mum. They immediately blamed themselves because Todd is part of our circle. They felt as though they didn’t protect her from him.
“I appreciate you not doing that while we waited for the paternity results.”
“Bleu’s in no condition to be assassinating anyone.” He doesn’t have to convince me.
“Do I need to step in as her leader to solve the problem?”
“No. She’s very aware that the possibility is off the table if I say so.”
“You’re her leader, yet she’s fighting you on this.” Bleu doesn’t have a submissive bone in her body.
“She feels she can because she’s my wife. And she’s a hard-ass. It complicates things.”
I’m about to ask the impossible of my father. “I understand how much you want to kill Todd. He took your daughter and the woman you loved. But Cara and Amanda are gone. Bleu lives and won’t be whole until her mother’s murder is avenged. I fear carrying it out herself will bring her more damage than healing. As her husband, I need to do this for her. With due respect, I’m asking you to pass this duty on to me.”
“This is a lot to ask.”
“I know, Dad. My father and my wife want the same thing. I know what it means to both of you, so it’s with a heavy heart that I make this request.”
“I can’t bring back Cara or Amanda. If you believe this will help heal Bleu, I won’t deny you of that possibility.”
My mind is at ease. “Thank you.”
“When will you do it?”
“I suppose that depends on how well things go with Bleu.”
“I wish you the best of luck, son.”
My day is long. I’m distracted. I can only think of Bleu and how she’ll react to what I’m going to do.
I’ve texted her three times without any kind of response. I’m not at all pleased about that. I would be worried about her safety if Kyle and Blare weren’t with her.
The workday ends and I’m not ready to go home to another fight, so I make a detour to Duncan’s. Jamie has agreed to meet me for a whisky or two. Maybe ten.
I’m pleased he accepted my invitation. The last few days have been devoted to Bleu so Jamie and I have only spoken briefly over the phone. He’s told me several times that he’s fine, but saying the words and them actually being true are two different things. I need to see for myself.
He’s waiting at our table when I arrive, two whiskies already in front of him. He’s usually a Guinness man. “Starting without me, I see.”
He pushes one of the whiskies in my direction. “Only on my first. But definitely not my last.”
I gulp the Johnnie Walker down. Damn smooth stuff. Every time.
“How are Westlyn and Evanna?” I ask.
“Westlyn’s grieving but she’s all right. Evanna’s not handling it as well.” I’m not surprised; Evanna was Abram’s favorite.
“And Torrie?”
“Mad as hell. She isn’t receiving the
treatment of a leader’s widow.” Predictable. She’s yet to realize how lucky she is I don’t have her thrown out of that ostentatious house she calls home.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asks.
“Argument with my wife. A big one.”
Jamie laughs. “I’m glad you married a lass with a backbone. Watching her go head to head with you is entertaining. No one else could get away with that.”