Endurance (The Sin Trilogy 4)

Doesn’t make sense to me.

My father was a sensible man. He taught me to not jump to conclusions. And I’m not. But I am going to figure out what the hell is going on. “Will you have Sterling drive me home?”

“Done. Would you like me to call Bleu to come ride with you?”

“No. I need time to myself.”

Sin phones Sterling and the black SUV quickly appears in front of us. “Please tell Isobel the party was lovely.”

Sin opens my door and assists me into the back. “You know I have to tell Bleu about this so you should probably expect a call.”

I have no idea what’s happening or what I’m about to walk in on at the infirmary. Whatever it is, I don’t feel like hashing it out with my sister tonight. “Please ask her not to. I’ll call her first thing in the morning.”

“I’ll tell her but you know your sister. That doesn’t mean she’ll listen.”

Sin pats the back of Sterling’s headrest. “Do a complete sweep.”

I’m not sure if the sweep is for my protection or Jamie’s.

“You don’t have to send Sterling in to stop whatever’s going on between Jamie and Adaira. I can take it.” In fact, if something is happening, I prefer to see it so I have a reminder of how stupid I was to go along with Jamie’s proposition.

“That isn’t the intention. We always face a higher risk of being hit following an event. Someone has to ensure the infirmary hasn’t been compromised before we can let you go inside.”

I guess that rationale is legit. “Okay.”

“He’s not shagging her, Ellison. I’m sure of it.”

I wish I were sure of it. “I guess we’ll see.”

The vehicle pulls away from Thane and Isobel’s and my mind spins out of control with all the what ifs.

What if Adaira’s still there?

What if she’s not and I never really know what happened between the two of them?

What if I walk in on them having sex?

I’m nauseated. Restless. Uneasy. And all of my unpleasantries multiply the closer we get to the infirmary.

I expected the pain to come when we said goodbye. Not less than a week into the relationship.

I’m further troubled when I see Jamie’s Range Rover in the drive. He left the party with another woman only an hour ago. Did he bring her here? To our place? To our bedroom?

I wait in the car while Sterling inspects the house. Breath bated. Stomach knotted. Palms drenched.

Sterling returns quickly, and I can’t help questioning how he was so fast. Because everything checked out okay? Or because he walked in on Jamie and Adaira and was told to get out immediately?

Sterling opens my door. “There hasn’t been a breech.”

There are no Order members inside but that doesn’t mean something painful doesn’t await me.

I stand and straighten my dress after Sterling assists me out of the SUV. Stalling. Procrastinating. Dragging my feet.

“All is well, Miss MacAllister. He’s passed out in the bed. Alone.”

My heart calms a bit with the reassurance. “Forgive me for intruding. I thought it might ease your mind a bit to know you wouldn’t be walking in on something you didn’t want to see.”

“That was very thoughtful. Thank you.”

Sterling is never more than three steps from me on the walk from the vehicle to the front door. “Lock the door and arm the alarm as soon as you’re inside.”

“I will. Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime, Miss MacAllister.”

I kick out of my heels and flex my cramped feet. I wore those damn things so Jamie would think I was sexy and then he didn’t even pay me any attention. Total waste.

I stand at the foot of the stairs and ponder what I’ll find when I go upstairs. Sterling said Jamie was alone but that wasn’t the case an hour ago. Did they fuck before she left?

Shit. Time to face the music.

I find Jamie stretched side to side on the bed, the bedding undisturbed except for the throw pillow under his head. His jacket and tie have been shed but he’s still wearing his trousers and button-down. Not a guarantee but a good indication . . .

I sit on the bed and he doesn’t stir. Not even the rhythm of his breath is disturbed.

I lie down beside him, my head propped in my hand, and take the opportunity to study his face. Dark lashes resting against his lower lids. Stubble slightly heavier. Strong jawline. Full lips slightly parted with every breath causing a puh sound to escape.

So damn handsome it hurts.

I touch his face, stroking my thumb down his cheek. “You’re killing me, Doc. I really need this bullshit to end.” Claim me.

This time he stirs and rolls toward me. “Mac.”

“I’m here.”

Opening his eyes is a bit of a struggle. Focusing on my face proves a more difficult feat when he reaches out and clumsily grabs my face. “Mac.”

I put my hand on top of his. “You ditched me.”

Jamie blinks hard and doesn’t reply.

“You didn’t say a word. You just ran off and left me there at Thane and Isobel’s house.”

“Couldn’t handle seeing you with them. Was making me crazy. I knew everyone would see right through me if I didn’t get the fuck out of there.”

I know you shouldn’t try to have a serious conversation with anyone after they’ve been drinking, but I think I’ll lose my mind if I don’t hear him tell me nothing went on between him and Adaira.

“I saw you disappear from the party with Adaira and then you took off with her. What am I supposed to think?”

“She wanted to talk privately.”

He’s badly mistaken if he thinks I’ll settle for that explanation.

“You disappeared with her. I saw you go toward the guest house with her—for a quite a while—and then you left the party with her.”

“She took me to the guest house so she could suck my dick.”

Any relief I felt about not finding Adaira at the infirmary or discovering a naked Jamie in a disheveled bed quickly fades. “How could you, Jamie?”

I push away from him to get off the bed but he grabs my wrist. “I didn’t let her. Good thing I didn’t because she likes pussy instead.”

Maybe he’s drunker than I thought. “What?”

“Adaira likes women. She has a girlfriend.”

I’m not disappointed to hear that but it doesn’t mean they didn’t sleep together. “You didn’t fuck around with her?”

“No. She’s a lesbian.”

“Why did she try to give you a blowjob if she’s into girls?”

“Long story. Doesn’t matter anyway. Just know that she drove me home because I

was on the whisky. No other reason.”

Jamie tugs on my arm. “Lie beside me, baby. I want to feel you next to me.”

I scoot closer and stretch beside him with my head resting on his bicep. We’re sprawled sideways across the mattress on top of the covers and Jamie’s fingers make a game of clumsily playing with my hair. “I knew the brothers would be enchanted by you, but I wasn’t prepared to hear them trying to claim you after only laying eyes on you.”

Jamie sighs and fists the top of his hair with his free hand. “Thought I could handle it but I was wrong. I’m sorry. I fucking lost it. I thought the whisky would help but it only made it worse. I got more pissed off every time I saw another brother talking to you. Trying to win over what’s mine. Trying to fuck what’s mine. Trying to claim what’s mine.”

Jamie rises and moves over me to cover my body with his. “You’re mine, Mac. Your heart. Your love. Your body. All of you belongs to me.”

Jamie’s tongue is looser than usual. Yes, he’s drunk. To what degree, I’m not sure but I don’t think he’s hammered. He woke too easily and is making too much sense to be entirely wasted.

Either way, I like what I’m hearing out of him.

I want to hear more.

I push my hands between us and work on unfastening his pants. I push at the waistband of his pants and underwear until they’re mid-thigh and his cock is freed. “I am yours, Jamie. All of me. Take what belongs to you.”

And he does.

Dammit. It feels like my brain is beating itself against my skull trying to escape. Guess I drank more whisky than I thought. Bad coping mechanism.

It’s still dark outside. The clock reads 4:26, which means my alarm will be screaming soon. I’m certain the throbbing in my brain won’t welcome the noise so I turn off the alarm. There’s zero chance of me going back to sleep.

I breathe in deeply and stretch as bits and pieces of the night flash through my head.

Logan making a public declaration to claim Ellison.

Logan touching my girl’s face like he had every right.

Adaira telling me she could give a quality blowjob.

Adaira trying to unzip my pants.

Grabbing a bottle of JW from Kenrick.

Oh, fuck.

I reach down and feel my naked cock about the time the mattress dips and shifts next to me.