“Left.”
“You’re guarding your right side. Show me where you’re hurting.”
Bleu’s hand hovers over the middle of her stomach and moves downward to the lower right. “This whole area but it starts in the center and radiates down here.”
Jamie’s been standing back. Silent. Watching. Observing.
I know where he’s going with these questions and feeling stupid for not considering the same possibility. I think I let my relationship with Bleu blur my nurse’s brain.
He comes to kneel beside my sister. “Will you let me feel of your abdomen?”
“Yeah.” Bleu rolls to her back and brings her bent knees with her.
Jamie touches her forehead first. “You have a fever. Have you kept anything down today?”
Sin answers for her. “She had a little bit of food at the party. And wine.”
“But not much. I started feeling nauseous right after Ellison left.”
Jamie palpates her abdomen and slowly moves to the right lower side. It isn’t until he releases the pressure that she screams. Rebound tenderness.
“I don’t think this is a rupturing ovarian cyst. Your symptoms are classic for an appendicitis.” Which could rupture at any minute based on how long she’s been hurting.
I look at Sin and give him my get-my-sister-to-the-fucking-hospital-now eyes. “She needs to be seen. Now.”
“I have to see my babies before we go.”
I bring Lourdes to her and Sin brings Liam and Harrison since he’s mastered holding two at once. “Quick hug and kiss for Mummy because Mummy has to go.”
Bleu kisses the babies one by one and tells each how much she loves and will miss them. Makes me want to burst out bawling, but I keep it together because I don’t want to put any added stress on my sister.
“Don’t worry about the babies, Kung Fu. I’m a nurse. Jamie’s a doctor. It isn’t possible for you to leave these kiddos in more capable hands. Plus, you know how much they love Auntie Elli.”
“I know. It’s just that we’ve never left them overnight before. They’re going to be so out of sorts when I’m not here for their bedtime feeding.”
Bleu is still breastfeeding so I’m certain bedtime will be a hot mess. But it is what it is, and we’ll do what we gotta do. “They will survive missing one bedtime nursing. Now get your ass up off that couch and go to the hospital.”
Bleu reaches out for Sin’s hands as she strains to get up from the couch. “Help me, baby. I need to get Harrison’s antibiotic and show Ellison how to give it to him.”
“She’s a nurse. She’ll figure it out.” Sin scoops Bleu up and lifts her from the couch as though she weighs no more than one of their children. “We’ve fucked around with this long enough. We’re leaving now.”
Bleu holds Sin around the neck and winces in pain as he carries her to the car. “Call me as soon as you talk to the doctor. You know I’m going to be a wreck until I know what’s going on.”
I run ahead of Sin and Bleu and open the door exiting to the garage. Sterling is already there and waiting. “I’ll give you a call the minute I know what’s going on.”
“There’s breastmilk in the freezer,” Bleu calls out as Sin is putting her in the backseat.
“I know.” She forgets I’m the one who helped her pump ahead and prepare it for the freezer in case anything like this ever happened.
“Kiss my babies at bedtime for me.”
“I will. Now go.”
Jamie puts his arm around me as we watch the car drive away with my sick sister. The dam holding my tears bursts when the wheels leave the drive and pull on to the road.
He squeezes my arm and I put my head on his shoulder. “She’s going to be fine. They’ll do a laparoscopic appendectomy and she’ll be home in no time. Maybe even by bedtime tomorrow night.”
I don’t think Jamie understands what my sister means to me. “She’s the only family I have left. Literally. She’s it for me.”
“Not true. You have these two feisty little boys and then there’s this adorable little princess who’s counting on you to show her how much shite you can cram into one bathroom.”
I giggle—a little—through my sobs. “This is true. I certainly can’t depend on Bleu to show her.”
Jamie takes his arm away and turns me so we’re face to face. “You’re gaining an entire Fellowship family at the end of the month. No matter which way it goes, you’ll always have me. I am your family.”
You’ll always have me. I am your family. I don’t think any man has ever said anything more powerful to me in my entire life.
I want Jamie so badly. I don’t mean sexually. I just want him to put his arms around me and hold on until the end of time.
I love you.
Please don’t let another man take me.
I know we can make this work.
The words play tug of war on the tip of my tongue, threatening to jump from the safety of my mouth at any moment.
Until I remember this morning when the alcohol had worn off.
Jamie’s whisky-drenched I love yous and declarations from last night were nothing more than empty promises. Worthless pledges. Meaningless vows.
I spent the day replaying last night over and over in my head.
I love you, Ellison.
I’ll die before I let another man have you.
I’m going to find a way to make us work.
Don’t give up on me. I just need time to figure things out.
I’ll give up being doctor if it’s the only way for us to be together.
I don’t want to think about the things he said last night and no longer meant this morning. It hurts too much.
He asked me for the month. I’m giving it to him. Hot sex. That’s all this is. No love. No commitment. No regrets.
A wail from the living room interrupts the moment we’re having. I’m glad. I don’t want to think about this anymore. I just wish his words would match his actions, as I’m as confused as hell.
We go into the living room and Jamie stands with his hands on his hips looking over the trio of babies lined up on the folded quilt in the floor. “That’s a lot of bairns.”
“Just like triplets. You sound a little worried.”
“I’ve never been around bairns.”
How’s that possible? “You have younger sisters.”
“I was six when Westlyn was born and eight when Evanna arrived. My father had already taken me from my mother at that point. I was being raised to lead The Fellowship. An alternate in the event Sin or Mitch died. Not encouraged to play with my baby sisters and help change their nappies.”
Jamie visits Sin here at the house on a regular basis so it seems odd he’s looking at the babies like they’re unfamiliar territory. “Do
you not play with them while you’re here?”
Jamie shakes his head. “I’ve never even held one of them.”
“Jamie. They’re your best friend’s children. Your cousins. Your family. You should be bonding with them.” I squat and pluck Liam from the floor since he’s typically the happiest of the bunch. “We’re going to remedy that right now. Here. Hold him.”
Jamie smiles and reaches out to take Liam without complaint as though he’s excited to get his hands on him. I expected some kind of excuse as to why he couldn’t or shouldn’t hold him. I got that one wrong.
Jamie sits on the couch and places the baby on his lap, studying everything about him. “Which one is this?”
“Liam.”
“He looks like Sin. Well, I guess I should say they look like Sin since they’re identical.”
“Those two are definitely Sin’s children.” My sister’s sons look like they were dug out of their father’s ass. There was definitely no mix up at the fertility clinic.
I lower myself to the quilt on the floor and lie on my stomach between Harrison and Lourdes. “I know Lourdes isn’t blood relation but I think she looks like Bleu.”
“I’m not sure how it happens but adopted children sometimes look similar to their adopted family.”
I play with the top of Harrison’s hair spiking it upward. “I’m giving the boys faux hawks after their baths tonight.”
I tickle Harry’s little fat neck. “You want Auntie Elli to make you look cool, don’t you, little dude?”
Jamie chuckles as he watches me. “What is it?”
“You’re really good with them.”
This time I tickle Lourdes, making her laugh aloud. “Because I’m the cool aunt. Isn’t that right, little princess?”
“I delivered a baby today.”
“Oh, Jamie. That’s amazing.” I crawl from the pallet to sit Indian style at his feet. “Tell me everything beginning to end.”
“I went in thinking I’d observe since that’s what always happens the first day of rotation. I was the only one sent to labor and delivery. The other doctors in my group were split between gynecology and surgery.”