Endurance (The Sin Trilogy 4)

I make my gag face. “Surgery might not be so bad but gynecology? Ugh! I would rather have toothpicks shoved in my eyeballs than work that floor.”

“I’ve decided you’re a medical adrenalin junky.”

Fair assessment. “Can’t argue with that. I do love me some gore and action.”

“Make that the princess who loves gore, action, cosmetics, and hair products.”

“Well, I need to look good while I’m helping the doctor stitch a knife wound.”

“I’ve seen your natural face. You look beautiful without all that stuff, baby.”

“Yeah, . . . yeah . . . whatever. I want to hear about you delivering this baby, Dr. B.”

“I sat down on a stool between her legs and she screamed that she had pressure and was going to push.” Jamie cups his palm over Liam’s crown. “I put my hand over the top of the baby’s head like this and guided it out slowly so the mum didn’t tear. Next, I suctioned the nose and mouth after the head was out. The obstetrician showed me how to turn the baby and pull down on the shoulder so it would ease out slowly. Then the other one came. And bam. The rest of the baby fell out and he started crying.”

“You delivered a healthy baby boy. Aw.”

“I was so scared, Mac. My hands were shaking like crazy. It was terrifying and amazing at the same time.”

Bringing life into the world has to be more satisfying than stitching lacerations and treating gunshot wounds. “I’m sure you did a fantastic job.”

Jamie is looking at me—saying nothing—while wearing an expression I can’t pinpoint. “What is it?”

“I thought about you afterwards when I was alone.”

“Me?”

“Aye. I thought about what it would be like if you were my wife and I was by your side while you were giving birth to our child.”

“And what did you decide?”

“That I would like that very much.”

Hearing Jamie say that steals my breath away. But I’m done getting lost in pretty words when there’s no substance behind them. Not again. Not after this morning. The wound is too fresh.

I’m not feeding into this again.

“These kiddos don’t love bottles. They’re going to be upset at bedtime when Bleu isn’t here. I think I should get the tub ready for a warm bath so they’ll be relaxed when I try to pass off a bottle in place of their usual boob.”

Jamie’s jaw is set, his brow wrinkled. I think I’ve knocked him for a loop by not falling all over his confession.

“What can I do to help you?”

I’m pretty sure Jamie won’t be any help with bathing them. “Probably best if you keep two entertained while I bathe the other one.”

“I get two while you get one? That doesn’t sound fair.”

“Would you prefer to undress, bathe, dry, re-diaper, and redress them?”

“Fuck, no. I’ll happily be the circus monkey who provides the entertaining.”

That’s what I thought.

Bath time works like an assembly line. I start with Harrison since he always goes to sleep first. When I finish, I pass him off to Jamie and take Liam next. Big sister Lourdes is last since she’s the night owl.

I’m finishing up with Lourdes’s bath when Sin calls. “Jamie. Sin’s calling. I need you to come watch Lourdes in the bath.”

Jamie comes in and looks at Lourdes lying on the net-covered incline in the tub. “What do I do with her?”

“Whatever keeps her happy as long her mouth and nose are above water.”

I go into the living room so I can keep an eye on the boys while I take Sin’s call. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Jamie was right. It’s an appendicitis. Bad enough they don’t want to wait until the morning so they’re taking it out tonight. They’re prepping her for surgery now.”

“Doing it laparoscopically?”

“Aye.”

“Good. She’ll heal faster and can come home sooner.” I know my sister doesn’t want to be away from the babies a minute longer than necessary.

“Bairns okay?”

“We’re finishing up bath time and gonna try bedtime feedings next.”

“Good luck with that. They love their mummy’s boobs.”

I sort of dread it. I’m really glad I have Jamie here to help. “I don’t expect it to go over well. I thought extra bath time with lavender might relax them a bit more. Maybe help them be more inclined to take a bottle.”

“Thank you, Ellison. You don’t know how helpful it is having you around. Especially with Mum being away seeing to her sick sister.”

“I could never leave Bleu and my babies.” They’re the reason I’m joining The Fellowship.

“You’re sacrificing your entire life to stay with us.”

Liam wails so I pick up one of their rattling toys and shake it above him. “It wouldn’t feel like a sacrifice at all if the bastard I love would stop being a hard-ass and claim me.”

“You and Jamie belong together. I’m going to do everything in my power to make it happen.”

“I appreciate that, Sin, but I really want Jamie to come around because it’s his decision.”

“I understand.”

“Tell Bleu I love her and to not worry about the babies. They’re fine.”

“I will. I probably won’t call back tonight. Trust me. If you’re lucky enough to get all of them down at the same time the last thing you want is for me to call and wake you up.”

“Got it. No news is good news. But call with an update in the morning so I don’t worry.”

“Will do.”

Jamie and I kept the babies both nights Sin and Bleu were at the hospital. Lourdes wasn’t a problem but I can’t say it was a walk in the park with Harrison and Liam. They didn’t make it easy on us. Those boys weren’t happy about giving up their mom’s boobs.

And Jamie wasn’t very happy about giving up mine.

Those munchkins whipped our asses. Neither of us mentioned a word about having sex when we finally got into bed. I’m pretty sure we were both asleep before our heads hit the pillows.

Bleu’s been warning me about the ups and downs of parenthood but Auntie Elli got a nice little taste of it the last two nights. It’s rough.

I wonder how that vision of me giving birth to our child looks to Jamie now. I’d bet it’s a bit different after two nights with only a few hours of sleep.

When Westlyn and Lorna come over to visit Bleu, despite feeling much better, her energy still hasn’t returned so she’s knocked out cold on the sofa only thirty minutes into their visit. “Let’s move this to the patio so we don’t wake her.”

I stop in the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and three glasses before slipping out the backdoor.

“Where’s Sin?”

“He and Jamie went to Duncan’s for a drink while we have a girls' powwow.” I’m glad. I need some straight-up girl time with my gal pals. I haven’t seen or spoken to them since the party. I’m eager to hear what they have to say about it.

Westlyn isn’t shy about broaching the topic. “Oh my God, Ellison. Sin made that announcement about your claiming and it was like a damn auction and bidding war to see who’d win the prize.”

I cringe when I remember the way those men were shouting their intentions. “I know this claiming thing is The Fellowship way but that was the strangest thing I’ve ever witnessed. It was humiliating to stand there and listen to those men state their intent as though I had no say whatsoever.”

“Trust me. It’s more humiliating to have the man you love refuse to claim you and call you names after your leader gives him first option at you.” Lorna and I have more in common than she knows. But at least Jamie didn’t call me a whore who wasn’t fit to be the mother of his children. Leith is such a bastard for saying that about Lorna. I haven’t forgiven him yet.

Westlyn throws a pillow from the patio sofa at Lorna. “Noah Wallace tried to claim you. At least you’ve had some interest. No one has ever made any kind of mo

ve to claim me. Ellison isn’t even one of us yet and at least a dozen brothers were ready to go through endurance for her. They’re literally prepared to be beaten half to death so they can marry her.”

“It’s not your fault no one has expressed interest. Your dad ruined any chance you had with a regular Fellowship man. He made it very clear to the brothers that you were off limits because you were being saved for Sin.”

I don’t care if Westlyn and Sin aren’t blood related. It’s still super weird that Abram wanted them to marry.

“Anything my father said pertaining to me being saved for Sin would have no bearing after he married Bleu. It’s been a year and no one has made a move to claim me. Or anything else.”

Lorna releases a dramatic, exasperated breath. “I don’t know why you’re bitching about not being claimed. You don’t plan on marrying a Fellowship man anyway.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m complaining. I’m definitely not marrying a Fellowship man. But I wouldn’t mind fooling around with one in the meantime.”