Endurance (The Sin Trilogy 4)

“Into me, you see.”

My head throbs when I turn over to look at Ellison. Fuck. I drank way too much celebratory whisky last night.

She smiles when my eyes meet hers. “Good morning.”

I put my finger over my lips. “Shh. Don’t be so loud.”

She giggles and whispers, “Good morning.”

“Much better. Thank you.” I run my hands over my face. “Are you hungover?”

“Umm . . . no. I wasn’t able to drink alcohol last night.”

Shit. The pregnancy test. “Have you done it yet?”

“No. I was waiting on you to wake up."

“Well, fuck. Get in there and do it.”

She slides out of bed. “Okay. Okay.”

I rise and swing my legs around to sit on the side of the bed. This is it. The moment of truth. It could go down as a memory we’ll never forget.

I hear the toilet flush and then I wait. And then I wait some more. She doesn’t come out so I get up and go to the door despite my head screaming at me to get back in bed. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

She opens the door and is holding the test in her hand. “Negative.” I think that’s sorrow in her voice.

“Mac. You okay?”

She bites her bottom lip for a second before shrugging. “I’m sadder than I thought I would be.”

Although it’s not a loss, it sort of feels like it is. “Yeah. Me too.”

“It’s weird. We made the decision to try to get pregnant, and I just expected it to happen.” She holds up the test. “I thought for sure I’d see two lines.”

“Same here.”

“You don’t think this means we’re going to have fertility problems when we decide we want to have a baby, do you?”

“Absolutely not. This was a long shot to begin with.” I pull her into my arms. “We have plenty of time for babies.” And now we have a little more time for us.

“I’m twenty-eight. I don’t want to wait too long to start trying.”

“Plenty of time, Mac.”

I look at the person staring back at me in the full-length mirror. “This isn’t how I imagined my wedding day.”

“What? You didn’t picture yourself living in Scotland marrying a man whose part of a notorious criminal organization? The one I infiltrated so I could kill its leader?”

I sometimes forget that Bleu came here to kill Thane. The person she hated most in this world led her to the one she came to love most.

“The only thing I got right is that I’m marrying a handsome doctor.” One I love with all my heart. That was always part of the plan.

I had it all worked out—quite literally—in a pink, alphabetized three-ring binder. Beginning with my engagement and ending with my honeymoon.

I planned on a ball gown silhouette. I’m wearing a mermaid.

I planned on satin and pearls and sequins. I’m wearing vintage lace.

I planned on my husband wearing a killer designer suit. Jamie is wearing a kilt. No complaints there, because damn, it’s hot.

I planned on Dad giving me away. Sin will be the one to give me to Jamie.

“I’m not upset or disappointed. It’s just very different from what I always dreamed about.”

There’s a soft knock at the door. “Who is it?” Bleu asks.

“Me,” Sin answers.

“You don’t have Jamie with you?”

“No.” Bleu opens the door and peeks through the crack. “He’s not with me, Bonny. Do you really think I’d risk your wrath by sneaking him up here to get a peek at your sister?”

Sin is the leader of a criminal organization who is afraid to risk his wife’s wrath. Very entertaining.

“Suppose not.”

Bleu opens the door and allows her husband to enter. “Agnes just arrived to keep the babies.”

“Oh, good. I’m always afraid she’s going to remember how bad it is keeping them and decide to not show up.”

“They’re not that bad. They’re just numerous.”

“The boys are bad, Elli. I’m their mother so I can say that about them.”

“I feel bad they won’t be at my wedding.”

“Well, don’t. I’m certain they’d turn it into a three-ring circus.”

I’m their aunt. They should be there but Bleu insisted they skip the ceremony and come to the reception.

A look passes between Bleu and Sin, and I don’t know what it means. “What? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Sin has something really special for you.”

“Something old? Something new? Something borrowed? Or something blue?”

He reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and takes out an envelope. My heart nearly stops the second I see Princess written across it in Dad’s handwriting.

“Harry wanted to be with you in spirit so he asked me to give this to you on your wedding day.”

“Oh my God.” My hands are trembling when I take the envelope from Sin. “I can’t believe you’ve had this for two years and never mentioned it.”

“What would have been the chances of me hanging on to it had you known your father’s last words to you were in my possession?”

“Right.” I would have demanded he hand it over. And I would have ruined this unexpected surprise.

“This is amazing and heartbreaking at the same time.” I inhale deeply and exhale. “Did you know Sin had this?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for not spoiling this surprise.” Bleu has always been able to keep a secret. I, on the other hand, tend to open my big mouth.

“We’re going to step out and let you have this time to yourself. Do not cry and mess up your makeup.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Dad wrote that letter so he could be part of your big day. He wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

Sin takes out a second envelope labeled Ellison’s Husband. “He wrote a letter to Jamie?”

He nods. “He entrusted me to watch over you. That included making sure you chose a husband who would protect and cherish you. I knew Jamie was that man, and that your future would be in quality hands.”

Sin holds u

p the letter. “And now we have another delivery to make.”

My knees feel weak so I move to the sofa and sit before breaking the seal. God, this is going to be rough. I feel it coming.

Princess,

You are no longer a princess. You are now a queen marrying her king. I know you have chosen a man who will give you love, protection, honor, and respect, but it’s important you remember marriage is a two-way street. Give and take. That, aside from love, is the base for a wonderful marriage.

It is my greatest hope that you have found love and happiness with the man you marry today. It is his responsibility to love, honor, and cherish you, but you owe him the same in return. Be there for him. Always remind your spouse how lucky you feel to call him husband. He should wake every morning knowing how much you love him without hearing the words.

Marriage won’t always be easy. There will be times you want to quit so I’m giving you and your husband the same advice. Learn how to argue AND how to make up. Get it out of your system. Address the problem. Never, never, never go to bed angry with each other. Be willing to negotiate—but don’t confuse that with being a pushover.

For my grandchildren. Let them see true love in your relationship with your husband. I challenge you to have a magnificent love story. Don’t read them the fairy tale. Live it daily for them to see.

Now is the time for real life to begin, the one you’re building with your husband. I’ll be watching from afar. I’m always with you. I love you.

Love,

Dad

Dear Ellison’s husband,

I don’t have to tell you what a lucky man you are. If you’re marrying Ellison, then you already know.

As a father, there are many things I want for my daughter—health, success, satisfaction—but above all I want her to feel love and know happiness. It is my greatest hope that she has found these things in you. I taught her to never settle for less than the best when it comes to her choice of spouse. You are the best. Don’t let her down. Be there to catch her when she falls. Remember how lucky you are that my princess chose you and never forget that she’s your prize. Never let her forget how loved she is.