“I have no idea,” Lena confessed. She was living proof that second chances worked, but she’d never been able to extend that courtesy to anyone else. Losing Jeffrey Tolliver had taught her a lot of things, but the possibility of losing Jared had floored her.
Denise asked, “You wanna think about it?”
“No.” Lena offered the naked, unadorned truth. “DeShawn and Eric are dead. Lonnie turned out to be Satan. Paul’s put in an application for the Atlanta PD. Jared almost died.” Lena felt a lump in her throat. She left her little bean off the list, but the memory was still raw. “I guess I can’t afford to lose anybody else.”
Denise was still skeptical. “It’s probably my fault you and Jared almost got killed. I could’ve gotten you fired. It’s only through the grace of God that those assholes in IA believe your story.”
“You think they believe me?” Lena laughed. “The only reason I’m not on the street or in a jail cell is they can’t prove anything.” She walked to the sink and turned on the faucet. The water was ice cold. Lena bent down and drank from the tap.
Denise said, “I’ve been a bad friend to you. I know that.” Her voice went low. “And I know you’ve been going through some things. Before all this, I mean.”
Lena turned off the faucet. Denise wasn’t the only one with trust issues. It had never occurred to Lena to talk to anybody about losing the baby—not to Jared, not to Denise, not even to herself. Truthfully, it felt like too much of a failure, something she should be ashamed of.
And even if it didn’t feel that way, Lena wasn’t about to pour out her heart in the women’s toilet at the police station.
She told Denise, “It’s all right. It’s something I had to go through on my own.”
“I get that.” Denise wasn’t one to sit around gazing at her navel, either. “I’m here if you want to talk, though.”
Lena looked down at her hand. It was resting on the sink instead of pressed to her empty belly. She wondered if that’s how it happened—incrementally. The nurse from Dr. Benedict’s office had been right about one thing: it didn’t go away, but it got different.
Lena let out another long breath. She looked at the mirror over the sink, thinking she’d aged about twenty years since this all started. “Jared’s been bugging the shit out of me. I could use an excuse to get out of the house.”
Denise caught Lena’s gaze in the mirror. “Me, too.”
Lena waited.
Denise cleared her throat. She struggled to speak. “Her name’s Lila. We’ve been dating for a while.”
Lena didn’t push it. “How long is IA gonna keep you here?”
“Long as it takes.”
“Call me when you’re finished. We’ll go to Barney’s.”
Denise looked away. The beaten-down expression was back. Barney’s was a cop bar. She obviously didn’t want to be seen by the men she used to command.
“You know what?” Lena grabbed a handful of paper towels. “As far as I can tell, you were the only cop on this entire force who saw something was wrong with Lonnie. You saved that kidnapped boy’s life. You kept him hidden and safe. You made sure he got home to his family. You gave Marie Sorensen’s mother a face to the name. You took a vicious predator off the streets. You wrapped all of this up in a pretty bow for the state to untie.” She tossed the paper towels into the trash. “Am I right? You did all that?”
“That’s one way to phrase it.”
“As far as I’m concerned, that’s the only way to phrase it to any asshole who asks.”
Denise shook her head. She saw where this was going. “IA isn’t gonna see me as a hero, Lee. They’re gonna fire my ass as soon as it hits the chair.”
“Then you tell them you’ll go straight to whichever news station will take you. Hell, go to the nationals. Go up to Canada. Tell them what you did to save that boy, and then let the Macon PD explain why they fired you for it.” Lena laughed at the thought. “If they need somebody to corroborate your story, give them my number.”
Denise stared openly. “You are one crazy bitch. You know that?”
“Maybe.” Lena rested her hand on the door, but didn’t open it. “I’ve been exactly where you are right now too many times not to know how to dig out of it.”
“You really think that’s gonna work?”
“Never underestimate the modern police force’s aversion to bad publicity,” Lena said, thinking she should put that on a plaque by her office door. “Don’t let them hit your pension. That’s what they’ll go after first. Don’t let them bust your rank to anything lower than detective.” Lena smiled as she thought of something. “What do you think Paul’s odds are getting onto the Atlanta PD?”
Denise smiled, too. “White male, ex-military? They’ll roll out the red carpet.”
“Either way, I’ll need a new partner.”
“Little salt and pepper?”
“More like Chico and the Man.” Lena held open the door. Her smile dropped for the second time that day.
Will Trent was leaning against the wall. His face was a mess. Black and blue bruises were punctuated by dark red spots that were about the size of a grown man’s knuckles.
Lena told Denise, “Call me about that beer.”
“You got it.” Denise didn’t look at Will as she headed toward the interrogation room. Patterson was standing sentry in the doorway. He glared at Lena. She resisted the urge to stick out her tongue at him.
Will waited until Denise had shut the door. He told Lena, “I see Jared’s out and about.” She must’ve looked confused, because he said, “I just saw him go into the locker room.”
Lena felt her jaw clench. She was going to kill Jared. After all her stupid husband had survived, she was going to strangle him with her bare hands.
Will nodded down the hall toward Denise. “She going to be okay?”
“What do you think?” Lena asked. She wasn’t being belligerent. The state would have a lot of sway in Denise’s case.
Will said, “I think the department has enough bad press without pissing off somebody like Denise Branson.”
Lena wondered how much Will had heard standing out in the hallway. “She seems ready to take her medicine.”
“In my experience, people like that don’t generally stay down for the count.” He stared his meaning into her. They both knew Lena had a habit of rising from the ashes.
“Right.” Lena looked at her watch, though the only thing on her immediate agenda was to drag her idiot husband home by the collar. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
“I’m already finished. I was waiting to talk to you.”
Lena felt dread flood through her body. “About what?”
“To tell you that you were right.”
She laughed, thinking this was some kind of joke. “Right about what?”
“The attack. IA wanted me to wait until you were cleared to tell you.”
Lena wasn’t laughing anymore. “Tell me what?”
“It wasn’t your fault. The reason those two men went to your house that night was because Jared said something at your doctor’s office.”