The Girl Before

Simon frowns. How would they even know?

Regular inspections are built into the contract. Plus if any of the rules are broken, the cleaner has to inform the management agency.

No way, Simon says. That’s like being back at school. I’m not having someone tell me off for not picking up my dirty shirts.

I realize something. I haven’t had a single flashback or panic attack since I stepped inside the house. It’s so cut off from the outside world, so cocooned, I feel utterly safe. A line from my favorite movie floats into my head. The quietness and the proud look of it. Nothing very bad could happen to you there.

I mean, it’s amazing, obviously, Simon goes on. And if it weren’t for all those rules, we’d probably be interested. But we’re messy people. Em’s side of the bedroom looks like a bomb went off in French Connection.

Well, in that case, the agent says, nodding.

I like it, I say impulsively.

You do? Simon sounds surprised.

It’s different, but…it sort of makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’d built somewhere like this, somewhere incredible, I can see why you’d want it to be lived in properly, the way you’d meant it to be. Otherwise, what would be the point? And it’s fantastic. I’ve never seen anything like it, not even in magazines. We could be tidy, couldn’t we, if that’s the price for living somewhere like this?

Well—great, Simon says uncertainly.

You like it too? I say.

If you like it, I love it, he goes.

No, I say, but do you really? It would be a big change. I wouldn’t want us to do it unless you really wanted to.

The agent’s watching us, amused to see how this little debate turns out. But this is always the way it is with us. I have an idea, and then Simon thinks about it and eventually says yes.

You’re right, Em, Simon says slowly. It’s much better than anywhere else we’re going to get. And if it’s a fresh start we want—well, this is a whole lot fresher than if we just moved into another standard one-bedroom flat, isn’t it?

He turns to the agent. So how do we take this further?

Ah, the agent says. That’s the tricky bit.

NOW: JANE

“The final stipulation being—what?”

“Despite all the restrictions, you’d be surprised how many people still want to go for it. But the last hurdle is that the architect himself has right of veto. Effectively, he gets to approve the tenant.”

“In person, you mean?”

Camilla nods. “If it even gets that far. There’s a lengthy application form. And of course you have to sign something to say you’ve read and understood the rules. If that’s successful, you get invited to a face-to-face interview wherever in the world he happens to be. The last few years, that meant Japan—he was building a skyscraper in Tokyo. But he’s back in London now. Usually, though, he doesn’t bother with the interview. We just get an email saying the application’s been rejected. No explanation.”

“What sort of people get accepted?”

She shrugs. “Even in the office, we can’t see any pattern. Although we have noticed that architecture students never get through. And you certainly don’t need to have lived in a place like this before. In fact, I’d say it’s a drawback. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine.”

I look around. If I’d built this house, I think, what kind of person would I choose to live in it? How would I judge an application from a prospective tenant?

“Honesty,” I say slowly.

“Sorry?” Camilla’s looking at me, puzzled.

“What I take out of this house isn’t just that it looks nice. It’s how much commitment has gone into it. I mean, it’s uncompromising, obviously; even a bit brutal in some ways. But this is someone who’s put everything, every ounce of passion he has, into creating something that’s one hundred percent as he wants it. It has—well, it’s a pretentious word, but it has integrity. I think he’s looking for people who are prepared to be equally honest about the way they live in it.”

Camilla shrugs again. “You may be right.” Her tone suggests she doubts it. “So, do you want to go for it?”

By nature, I am a careful person. I rarely make decisions without thinking them through: researching the options, weighing the consequences, working out the pros and cons. So I’m slightly taken aback to hear myself saying, “Yes. Definitely.”

“Good.” Camilla doesn’t sound at all surprised, but then who wouldn’t want to live in a house like this? “Come back to the office and I’ll find you an application pack.”

THEN: EMMA

1. Please make a list of every possession you consider essential to your life.