Before She Dies (Alexandria Novels 3)

“Maybe I will get tired of you. But I’m thinking it will take time. A long, long time.”

Even a long, long time didn’t feel adequate.

He traced a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Tell me your secret.”

In this moment she felt closer to him than she had to anyone in her life. The walls dropped, and she felt so vulnerable. She didn’t want to lose him, but it was better to tell him now and cut her losses. If he hated her for what she was about to say, then better now than later.

She shifted her gaze to the ceiling. Tears filled her eyes and trailed down the sides of her face. “Sooner is my child. Not Mariah’s.”

The silence in the room was heavy and broken only by the hammering of her heart.

He rolled on his side and faced her. His gaze was unreadable. “She doesn’t look like you.”

“No. She looks like my mother and my sister. There are no traces of me in her. But she is mine. I was sixteen when she was born.” Fear lingered behind the words as she waited for rejection and censure. “You see, I told you the tangles were thicker than you realized.”

He shifted his weight on top of her so that they were almost nose to nose. “Who is her father?”

“A boy who lied about his name and his love so that he could seduce me.”

“Not Grady.”

“No.”

His gaze searched hers an extra beat before relief flickered. “She’s a lot like you. She’s got your spirit. When I interviewed her, she felt so familiar to me, but I couldn’t place her.”

Tears fell down the sides of her face and dripped on the mattress. “Aren’t you disappointed in me or angry?”

“No.”

“Why?”

He traced a strand of hair from her eyes. “My heart breaks for the kid that was alone and desperate for a better life for herself and her baby.”

“I’m not that kid anymore.”

“She’s still driving the bus, Charlotte. That kid, Grace, is the reason you are where you are.”

“For so long I just wanted to forget Grace.”

“Stop trying to forget her. She’s not going anywhere, and I don’t want her to. She’s a part of you and

I like all your parts.” He kissed her on the lips. “Have you told Sooner?”

“No. She thinks Mariah was her mother. Grady lied to Sooner about her mother. I’m sure he was doing it to spite me for leaving and punish me for Mariah’s death. And I’ve been too scared to correct her.”

“But you are going to tell her.”

“Yes. I have to tell her.”

“Do you want me with you?”

“No. I’ll have to do that one on my own.”

“Let me know what I can do.”

“You do not want to get dragged in my family drama.”

He brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “You act like I’m afraid of a little trouble.”

She stared into his dark and determined gaze. “Why do you want me? Why don’t you find yourself someone sweet, uncomplicated, and who isn’t terrified of commitment or has an eighteen-year-old kid? You are a good-looking man, Daniel Rokov. I would think you could find someone a little more perfect.”

The creases around his eyes deepened when he smiled. “I got a thing for you, counselor. And as much as I’ve tried, I can’t shake it.”

“My baggage could get a little heavy.”

“Let me be the judge.” He kissed her. “You ever reconsidered breaking bread with me?”

Nervous laughter bubbled as she swiped away another tear. “You should be running for the hills at this point.”

“Is that a yes or no to dinner?”

“I did break bread with you. At your mother’s kitchen table no less.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a date.”

She smiled. “Us on a date. I’m not sure if I can picture that, detective.”

“Daniel. Call me Daniel.”

She traced the strong line of his jaw. “I haven’t told Sooner the truth, and when I do, my life could get messy.”

“Give me a real obstacle, Charlotte.” His hand slid up her belly, and his knuckle brushed the underside of her breast.

“The one I just gave is fairly significant.”

“You’re going to have to do better than that.” He frowned. “Let me share this with you.”

She traced the line of his jaw with her thumb. “I won’t blame you if you change your mind.”

“Stop yammering. We need to get dressed. The movers will be here in minutes.”

“That would be embarrassing if they found us. What would people say?” Her tone was light but the meaning wasn’t. People were going to talk a lot. Not just about them but her past and Sooner.

He nudged her side. “Break bread with me, counselor.”

Any kind of real relationship with him was so, so foolish. It would end. It was a matter of time. Tangles ruined things. “Fine. Dinner.”

As she rose, he grabbed her by the waist. “Is that a tattoo on your lower back?”

Immediately she pulled free and righted her pants.

“No.”

He rose up off the bed and refastened his pants. “It’s kind of sexy.”

“It’s not.”

“Sure it is. Let me see it.”

She faced him. “No. And please do not tell anyone.”

“No one knows about it?”

“No.”

“If it bothers you so much, why didn’t you just have it removed?”

“It’s a reminder that Grace Wells was capable of doing some really stupid things. It is a reminder that I should think long and hard before I act.”

He brushed the hair off her forehead with his index finger. “You didn’t think too hard about us.”

She hadn’t thought at all. She simply reacted. “And that is what worries me.”

His hand dropped to her waist. “Can I see it?”

She clamped her hand over his. “No. No you cannot.”

His hand easily slipped out of her grip. “Pretty please.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want any secrets between us. Plus, I’m thinking it’s going to be pretty hot.”

“It’s not hot.”

“Let me be the judge.”

Again she could say no. But why start now? She gave him her back and lowered the elastic.

“It’s a tiger.”

“Mariah and I thought we were so clever when we got these. We thought we were different.”

He traced the tiger with his finger. “I like it. And it suits you. You are a tiger.” He kissed her on the shoulder in such a tender way that it made her still. She had the urge to melt into his body, and forget about the movers. She wanted to make love to him. Love. Not sex.

The front door buzzed. She sighed. “That must be the movers.”

“I’ll help you finish packing.”

“There’s not much to do. Just get back to your case, and I’ll finish up as they carry out the rest.”

“Are you tossing me out?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t think with you around. And I need to think to make sure this job gets done right. Too many things going in too many places.”

“You’re not keeping everything?”

“No. I’m downsizing and simplifying big time.”

“Why?”

“It’s time.”