Richard

“I just didn’t want you to get involved with a guy like Michael, that’s all,” I said, laying my head back on my pillow. “I wanted to do the best friend thing and look out for you, y’know?”

“You keep saying stuff like that, Jess, but I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. What’s so bad about Michael?”

I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face. I hated talking about my time with Michael, even with Becky, and she knew that, but at the rate that she was pressing everything, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep what had happened between him and I a secret for very long.

“Michael started out fine,” I began. “We did all the normal couple things that you’re supposed to do. We went on dates and went to the movies and kissed.”

“That doesn’t sound so terrible,” she said.

“I’m not done yet. After the first few months, things started to change. We’d be talking about things like school, and I’d correct him on something—usually something small, like the order of some historical event. And whenever I did that, he would get so mad.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first, and he just glared at me and we finished our date. But after the two of us were alone…” I paused, swallowing hard as I remembered the way my cheek stung from that night. “He slapped me across the face. He told me never to correct him like that in public—or ever. He was so loud and so angry that I just told him ‘okay’ so that he’d stop.”

“That doesn’t sound like Michael…” Becky said, her tone doubtful.

“Maybe not the Michael you know,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye. “It got so much worse than that, though.”

“Maybe you’re just making it seem worse than it was,” she said, trying once again to make an excuse. “Look, if you’re jealous because I’m sleeping with him now…”

“That’s just it, Becky,” I explained. “Michael and I never had sex the entire time we were together. Not even once.”

“That can’t be true,” Becky said.

“He wanted to—all the time—but I told him that I wasn’t ready yet. It didn’t feel like the right time. That made him angry.” I stopped for a moment to try and steady myself, my eyes shut tight against the tears. “He kept slapping me and grabbing me, telling me that if I didn’t give it to him like I was “supposed to,” he would keep hurting me. He’s not a good person, Becky.”

“Jessica,” she whispered, her voice faint. “Oh, my God… I’m sorry.”

“He pulled out a fistful of my hair,” I continued, swallowing hard to keep my voice from cracking. “And after that, he told me that he was done with me. He didn’t want ‘some cow that didn’t put out.’_”

Silence once again reigned over our conversation, both of us recovering from everything I’d just laid bare to her. I’d hoped that I would never have to tell her, or anyone, what Michael had done, and that the world would just move on and I could get on with my life. But I couldn’t let my best friend walk right into a relationship with the man who’d abused me for almost a year. I was lucky I got away from him, and if I could keep Becky from ever knowing that pain, then I’d do it, even if it cost me our friendship.

“I love you, Becky,” I sighed. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. So I need you to make me a promise that you’re never going to see Michael. I need that promise from you before I can sleep tonight.”

“I… If you’d have told me, I would never…” she started, and I could practically picture her chewing on her lip in deliberation. “Okay, Jess. I promise.”

“You’re not upset?”

“I had a little fun and nothing bad happened. Besides… He wasn’t the only one I took to the closet last night.”

“Oh God Becky!”

“It was my last big bang here, cut me some slack. It’s in the past. I’m not mad Jess... Next time, stop me when I’m about to go down on an asshole!”

“Thank you,” I said with a sigh of relief.

“Let’s talk about something else… anything else,” she pleaded, trying to bring the tone back toward something more positive.

“Like what?”

“How about the real reason you left the party last night,” she said, sounding a lot more conspiratorial. “I hear about what happened.”

I let out a groan, having hoped that she’d forgotten all about my hasty exit from the party. It had been probably the most mortifying experience of my entire life, and not one that I was interested in repeating.

“Do we have to talk about that?” I asked.

“You left me right in the middle of our own party. If you expect any kind of forgiveness, you’re going to give me every single one of the juicy details. I want to hear every little thought that went through that head of yours.”

“I hate you so much,” I whined before heaving a sigh of surrender.

“But you love to hate me, just like you love hating that hunk of a brother of yours—well, maybe not exactly like that.” Becky let out a fitful giggle, and I could imagine her rolling around on her bed at her own joke.

“Are you ten, or something?” I asked, shaking my head.

“Spill the beans!” she crowed. “Don’t distract me from the goal, and the goal is juicy, quasi-incestuous fantasies!”

“You’re so weird,” I sighed again. “Right after he sent Michael into the closet with you, the asshole started in on me.”

“I heard Dick asked you a question. How was that bad enough to make you run out on the party?”

“Would you please stop calling him that? He asked me who I wanted to fuck out of everyone in the room,” I said, swallowing as I pictured Richard sitting there on the floor in front of me, the way his pants bulged as he watched me squirm. Already, I could feel my sex heating up in anticipation.

“Holy fuck,” she whispered, though I could tell she was beaming from ear to ear on the other end of the line. “That’s so fucking hot.”

“Becky!”

“What?” she asked, trying to hold in her giggles. “It is! You don’t think he actually knows that you want to—”

“I don’t know… but he certainly seemed to like watching me torture myself about answering the question.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” I said, trying to say it in a way that didn’t sound so horribly crude. “He got a… an erection while he was trying to get me to answer.”

“Are you serious?” she asked, gasping. “Oh, my God! Jess, do you think…”

“I don’t know what to think, Becky. I felt like I was trapped in there. I mean, if I’d said someone else’s name I’d have to deal with some guy breathing down my neck for the rest of the party, wanting to take me into a closet! And if I’d told the truth, I’d have had to sit there while everyone I knew listened to me confess about how I wanted to fuck my own stepbrother.”