‘You don’t have to.’
‘Not because I owe you—even though I do.’ She shook her head at him. ‘Because I enjoy it. It relaxes me.’
He put the knife down on the marble counter. ‘Well, if you insist...’
She did. It was the perfect way to avoid looking at him and falling deeper beneath his spell. Except he stayed to watch her, and even though she was skilled, it took every ounce of concentration to prepare the food without dicing her fingers in the process.
‘I cook every night,’ she chatted inanely.
‘For Brian?’
‘Don’t sound so disapproving.’ She laughed.
‘He takes advantage of you.’
‘I’m not a total Cinderella. I love cooking. I do it even when I don’t have to...’
When she’d finished plating the food Alessandro stepped forward, putting the plates onto a tray he’d loaded with silverware and glasses. She followed him to the terrace, with its stunning view and sumptuous surroundings. It really was paradise.
‘Would you like a drink?’
‘Um...’
‘I have non-alcoholic.’ His eyes twinkled.
‘Oh, okay...thank you.’ She watched as he poured her a glass, then filled his own from the same bottle. ‘Don’t let me stop you from—’
‘I’m stopping me,’ he said quietly, but there was steel beneath his soft tone. ‘I don’t need anything that might take the edge off my resolve.’
Awareness slid like silk over her skin, and for a second she was tempted to throw all caution to the wind and suggest they drink from the other bottle together and then...
But she saved herself from speaking by tucking in to the food she’d prepared. He too seemed to be determined to be distracted by the food.
‘You’re really good at this, Katie,’ he finally said with a satisfied sigh.
She nodded. ‘Do you often stay here?’ She winced inwardly at her banality. Why couldn’t she act like a normal person—not a desperate woman on the edge?
‘Ideally for a week or so each month.’ A rueful expression flickered across his face and he shrugged. ‘Usually not quite a week.’
‘Every month?’ That was more than she’d expected. ‘And you bring people with you?’
Was it party central? Curiosity cut at her, and again she imagined those bikinis by the pool...
His rueful smirk broadened into a real smile and his eyes gleamed, as if he knew what she was really asking. ‘No, I prefer peace and quiet when I’m here. I can get a lot of work done.’
‘You prefer peace and quiet?’ She cocked her head. ‘Then you didn’t like running that club?’
He’d started his property empire by opening the most popular nightspot in London.
‘It was hard work. Late work. But it got me where I needed to be.’
‘And where was that?’
‘In control. Of my business, my finances, my life.’
Her curiosity deepened. ‘You didn’t have that control before?’
‘It’s not always that easy to get, is it?’ he said lightly, pointing his fork at her with a teasing look. ‘You don’t have it. Until today you didn’t have any control—’
She stiffened. The edge in his voice raised her defences. ‘That—’
‘You’ve been locked away.’ He ignored her interruption and spoke faster, the bite of his fury building. ‘You should have what you want. Have it when you want it. You don’t need anyone else’s permission or approval. It’s your life to live.’
‘And that’s so easy? Shouldn’t I consider other people’s feelings at all?’ she countered, trying not to get angry in return. ‘Or stop to consider that what I want might not actually be all that good for me?’
The thing she wanted right now would definitely not be good for her.
He suddenly laughed. ‘Ah, you’re afraid of getting yourself into trouble...’
He made it sound as if she was a goody-two-shoes, but he didn’t understand how important being good had been. She’d have lost everything if she hadn’t.
‘And you consider other people far too much—at personal cost to yourself,’ he added, as if he knew it all.
‘Perhaps you don’t do it enough?’ She couldn’t help striking back at him.
‘Consider other people’s feelings?’ He adopted a pious look. ‘I’m very careful with other people’s feelings.’
‘Really?’ she muttered sarcastically.
‘Are you judging my relationships?’
‘Do you even have relationships?’
‘Sure. Short...sweet. Hot.’
She paused, struck by the honesty underlying that snappy answer.
‘Maybe that’s not all that good for you,’ she challenged softly. ‘You don’t allow yourself to go deeply into relationships so you don’t get what’s truly good.’
He chuckled, as if she were the most naive creature he’d met. ‘I get the good stuff—don’t worry about that.’
‘There’s more to life than good sex, Alessandro.’
‘And you would know?’ He laughed.
‘I might not be experienced in all that—’
‘You’re so sheltered you’ve hardly lived,’ he interrupted with a jeer.
‘I’ve lived a lot, actually,’ she argued. ‘A great life doesn’t always have to mean exotic travel and endless orgasms. Little moments are amazing.’
‘How old are you again?’ He propped his elbow on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Are you ready to retire in that orchard?’ He shook his head slightly. ‘Bury yourself away for all your youth? For heaven’s sake, Katie, live a little. You said yourself you don’t owe Brian everything—’
‘I know that,’ she snapped.
‘But you’re still stuck,’ he snapped back. ‘Still acting as if you can’t break any of his rules.’
She stared at him, silenced. Because he was right.
But she wasn’t like Alessandro—not as fiercely independent nor as hedonistic. It wasn’t just anyone else’s permission or approval that Alessandro refused to need. He refused to need anyone in any serious way at all. At least, not for long. It seemed to be his philosophy on life. And good for him.
But she hadn’t been entirely useless either, and she resented his implication that she had. ‘I chose to stay and look after Susan.’
‘Of course you did,’ he acknowledged. ‘But it wasn’t like you had any other real option. He’d told you often enough that you owed them.’
Her anger resurged. She hadn’t cared for Susan only out of obligation. ‘I love her. I wanted to...’
She trailed off as his expression altered.
‘I know that,’ he answered quietly. ‘But Brian should be the one taking better care of her.’
The bitter note in his voice made a spot in her chest ache. Why was he so bothered by Brian’s treatment of his wife?
‘Yes, he should,’ she acknowledged with a sigh. ‘I should have made him.’
‘How were you going to do that when—?’ Alessandro broke off his too blunt comment and jerked his head in a sharp, negating gesture. ‘Naomi didn’t take care of my father and I couldn’t change that situation either,’ he said. ‘She and Brian are very alike, unfortunately.’
The curiosity within her deepened into a well. How had Naomi hurt his father? Had things gone wrong before he’d died? Was that why Alessandro had left with so much anger that he’d never returned?
She drew in a breath of courage. ‘How—?’
‘Do you want to talk to Susan?’ he interrupted as he glanced at his watch. ‘Now would be a good time.’
She knew he was deliberately diverting her. But she let him. ‘Yes, of course. I should have talked to her already.’
‘She knows you’re okay. Dominique has been in constant contact wit
h her since we married. And she’s okay—a nurse companion has started.’
Katie felt guilty all over again. Alessandro had done so much...arranged so much...while she’d just—what? Been unable to think about anything other than him kissing her? She was appalled at her selfishness.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and passed it to her. She quickly tapped in the number.